I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure

@p1kef1sh (45638)
August 12, 2008 12:44pm CST
Do you have a character trait that you simply cannot stand. Do you dither? Jump in without thinking? Always apologise when it's not your fault. Think the worst of people or interrupt or finish other peoples sentences. What is your greatest failing and are you doing anything about it?
14 people like this
36 responses
@soooobored (1187)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I think too much. About everything, all the time. And it's really really annoying for me and the people around me. But all of my "weaknesses" have a correlating strength, ie above. I can't make a simple decision without going around and around with it in my head for hours, but at the same time I can creatively solve problems because (given enough time) I can understand them in great detail and see alternative solutions. So ultimately, I don't have any weaknesses I would want to give up, because then I would also be losing some strengths!
4 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
Now I have to think hard. LOL. I see what you mean. I tend to make swift decision, unless I need lots of facts, but there are times when all that you can do is mull it over. But I agree with you, it's not a real weakness as ultimately the "dithering" aids sensible decision making.
3 people like this
@Munchkin547 (2778)
12 Aug 08
Hi there! I am a really big ditherer, it takes me ages to decide, for example, which brand of washing powder to buy in the supermarket, i think things through far too much! hehe I always apologise when i haven't done anything wrong too, i hear it come out of my mouth and think "why are you saying that?!?!" especially when people walk into me because they're not looking where they're going - why am i apologising? how is that my fault?! lol just habit i suppose! I also end up apologising for things just to keep the peace i hate arguments and confrontation! sometimes i think i should be a bit more decisive and assertive but that's just not who i am, i get along just fine so am not going to try to change!! happy mylotting! xx
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
Are you the sort of clothes shopper that visits every shop and ten, two hours later goes back to the first shop and buy the dress that you saw first? Or is that just women generally? LOL. I think lots of us are like that Munchkin. I am always apologising for things I didn't do.
2 people like this
12 Aug 08
That's exaclty what i do, i like to be sure i've got the one i really like so i have to check out all of the options first! not sure if that's just me or women in general!! Well it's good to know that i'm not alone on the apologising for nothing front!!! take care xxx
2 people like this
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
I abhor misunderstandings and I go to great lengths to avoid them. This sometimes make me appear weak and indecisive. At times, I tolerate things as much as I can. That's why when I explode, it would be more intense because of the pent up emotions I keep inside me for very long periods of time. I know this is not good so I try to be frank now and tell people immediately what I have in mind.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
I think that you often get a more positive response if you make your feelings known in a positive and non aggressive way.
2 people like this
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
12 Aug 08
According to my offspring, I don't remember things they told me five minutes ago. Nor do I remember what I've already told them, so I'm always repeating myself. With four kids, it's actually hard to remember who I told the news to, so I do tend to double (triple?) up sometimes. There's a lot of eye-rolling and gnashing of teeth. On their part. My own eyes and teeth are past it.
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
It's not just you Guy. I'm just as bad and I only have one child. Admittedly she's noisy enough for four and usually has about a dozen friends in tow! I know that my wife has just said something. Oh yes. She's going to bed. So must I in a minute.
3 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
12 Aug 08
In my life I have found a few character traits that I have that I really wish could change. They are aggravating to me and probably other people. I am not a very "pushy" or aggressive person by nature and I do not know how to use the word "no" when I need to. My husband has a way of pointing out to me some of these things about my character and I believe he makes a good point. He is not afraid to tell you how he feels. I wish I could be like that more often. This kind of behavior that I portray has gotten me taken advantage of for far too long from people.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
Get yourself on an assertiveness course or at least buy a good self-help guide. I had the same problem when I became a manager for the first time. I had to sack someone that I had not even met! My senior manager made it clear to me that either she went or I did. I got tough. It was horrible but you soon learn that you can say no and that people don't immediately think that you are letting them down. Good luck.
2 people like this
@peaceful (3301)
• United States
12 Aug 08
My greatest flaw is in the process of becoming a thing of my past... I used to be simply too generous and accomodating to people that seemingly have no positive strengths or resources of their own... Or the will to utilise resources that I graciously provided to them... WTF is that all about? NO MORE! This has been a "No Longer Public Service Announcement" ! LOL! :)
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
I think that it is called "suffering fools". You can only do it for so long.
3 people like this
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
12 Aug 08
i always tend to apologize even if it is not my fault. i guess i figure if i apologive even if i am not the person at fault, everything will be better...but sadly that is not always the case...
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
I am often tempted to do that, but Im better than I was. LOL.
3 people like this
@myklj999 (30490)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Aug 08
Failing to be serious at times. I use my particular brand of cynical off-beat humor to keep people at somewhat of a distance; I tend to not be serious in many things I say because I don't want people to get too close to me; it boils down to me having some serious trust issues with people.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
If your experience has been that people let you down then that is understandable. I have the opposite problem. I tell my every weakness and suffer for it later although I do tend to use humour as a way of making myself liked. I hope that you can manage to resolve some of those feelings.
2 people like this
@myklj999 (30490)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Aug 08
I kind of doubt that I will ever trust people properly the way I used to; I don't want to open myself up to where I can be that hurt ever again. It's taken me 5 years to get to the point that I even will refer to anyone as a friend; I think true close friendship for me is probably a thing of the past; and I realize in a way that it's a shame, but that's how I feel I have to be now.
2 people like this
@myklj999 (30490)
• Olney, Illinois
12 Aug 08
You know, I think that's why I like my friends (you included) at myLot; I can have the friendship and enjoy the company, and yet since it's all over the 'net I don't feel those warning lights go off in my head. The distance involved is something to it, and the fact that I most likely won't have to deal with any of you up close and personal. You do seem like a good man to me p1ke, and I'm glad I met you here.
2 people like this
@34momma (13893)
• United States
12 Aug 08
LOL now this was funny! i think the one think about me that i am working on changing is not doing everything last minute. for some reason i think working under pressure is the way to go!
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
A little pressure is a good thing. But don't let it be constant Momma or you'll go potty like me!! Let that be a warning to you! LOL.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Aug 08
Yeah, one p1ke is enough!*G*
@34momma (13893)
• United States
15 Aug 08
i will make sure to be good
@Fryediddy (127)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I am a habitual procrastinator. It's amazing that I got around to posting to some discussions tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow to do it. It tends to bite me in the butt everyday. I always have the feeling that I don't get anything done yet I can't get myself to just go ahead and do them. I always feel like I can do it later. Or better yet, do it tomorrow. Recently I decided to start making lists of things that need to do. Who doesn't like to look down at a list at the end of the day and see everything crossed off? It's great to have visual confirmation at the end of the day that the day's tasks were completed. I also love the feeling of accomplishment, knowing I've been productive and done something meaningful. I'm hoping it's that feeling that can get me to overcome that urge to put off things. You know what, maybe I'll go ahead and write tomorrow's list. No, I can do it tomorrow.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
I never procrastinate. Well maybe a little. But only if I am...., well you know. Like you said. Tomorrow! Welcome to myLot by the way.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Aug 08
Thanks.
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I'm not very patient and never have been. I've been working on this all of my life. I'm particularly inpatient with people who have no common sense, or - in business - those who offer no customer service.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Aug 08
Ooops. Impatient.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
Now I struggle with the poor customer service thing. A couple of years ago a large group of us went out for lunch. We had pre-warned the restaurant and even chosen our meals from an advance copy of the menu so that the kitchen could get a head start for when we arrived. This was at the restaurant's request. We arrived and the drinks order went well. Then the first meals started to appear. "Don't wait for us" called the as yet non-eaters. So those people with food started to eat. In fact they finished their meals before there was any sign of the others meals. At last two plates appeared. I asked to speak to the manager. "What for?" asked the waitress. "I wish to discuss today's service" I replied. "Not my fault" says she. "Please fetch the Manager" says I. Anyway she was obstructive. So I said that I would go find him myself. At that she scuttled off and found him. I explained that we had booked, pre-ordered and yet they still hadn't managed to get our food here on time. The attitude of the waiter hadn't helped either. He immediately sent a a free round of drinks and when I got to the till to pay there was no bill! A good result. Must have been sobering for him as there were about 15 of us!
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
12 Aug 08
Well my biggest downfall is being to darn sensitive and the other one is letting People hurt me As for jumping in with both feet and then apologizing well yes I have done that a few times to and I do my best now to try and not do that As for the other 2 Faults well I guess I am stuck with them ones
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
I love you all the same. Get a good night, it's been a hard day. XX
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
12 Aug 08
Thank you P1ke that means a lot to me and yes it has Goodnight xxxx
2 people like this
@dawnald (84070)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Aug 08
Yes, all of those. I suppose the worst one is jumping to hasty and negative conclusions. What am I doing about it? Trying not to. lol
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
LOL. I do try to see the positive in people Dawn. But they make it difficult at times!
3 people like this
@dawnald (84070)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Aug 08
yes that is sometimes true... but sometimes I read too much into things and jump to the wrong conclusion!
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
12 Aug 08
HI p1, Hmmm....I guess my major weakness is I hold grudges to people who hurt me...As much as I want to eliminate it but I can't stop feeling this way when I have a friend whom I trusted a lot and then will just backstab me...I want confrontation and I am very open about criticism as long as it will be address to me..So, I got 2 close friends this time whom I am not talking anymore..I know it's not good to hold grudges but I don't like them to hurt me again and I don't like me to trust them again so, for me, It's better to just forget them and move on in my life!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
Better to move on I think. I cannot remember when I last fell out with somebody. I try hard not to take offence.
3 people like this
• United States
12 Aug 08
Yea..it's really great not to experience such but when it is too hard and the impact is very painful, I will! Thanks p1~
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
12 Aug 08
Saying what I'm thinking is my biggest fault and some people get upset about it. Another thing I do, which I shouldn't, is decide not to understand what has been said and pursue a different angle from what the other person wanted to say. what
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
I must be the same Nanna. I have to say that I get annoyed if someone is deliberately going off at a tangent. But some don't know that they are doing it. Maybe they are thick, so they can be excused. You're not, so it must be to tease and annoy. LOL.
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
12 Aug 08
Are you implying I would do anything just to annoy? As if.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12551)
12 Aug 08
Hi ya p1kef1sh I think I probably do all of the above but I'm sure that wouldn't surprise you - I'm a woman!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
12 Aug 08
You will have worked out by now Humbug that I think that women are wonderful. So I guess that if you have all that lot then that's fine. Sorry. "Smoothy." Did you say? LOL.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12551)
12 Aug 08
You are, as always p1kef1sh, right - women are wonderful!!
2 people like this
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
13 Aug 08
My anxiety tends to cause me to overanalyze everything. Sometimes when I tell my husband my "conclusion" he looks at me and says, "How in the &^$* did you come up with THAT?" One thing leads to another, which leads to another, which reminds me of something else.... Then before I know it I am mad at him about something he may or may not have done 5 years ago. Bad, I know. I can also be pretty pessimistic about things. I think I am being a realist but he tells me I am being a pessimist. Sometimes it is a bit of both though. I am getting better with all of it though. I am going to the therapist even though I don't really want to. I also decided to go back on the meds that I stopped taking when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. She is over two now. They have helped immensely!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
I thought the female half of all relationships was like your first paragraph!! LOL. I suffer from anxiety based depression. I'm clinically more anxious than I am depressed. So I brood. See the glass half empty and a myriad other things. Trying to think positively helps. Now I know that I am POSITIVELY anxious and stressed about things!! I may have misunderstood what I'm supposed to do with positive thinking. OMG. What if I have. What shall I do.....LOL.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
13 Aug 08
Hey there, my personality trait that bugs me th most is that I can't show my anger. When I am angry I just keep quiet because I do not wish to look ridiculous being angry. The effect of this is that most of my anger remains in my heart for a long time and I do not even cry when I am sad. This trait had made me a person that a lot of people take advantage of including my friends. I already took a big step in this in which I eliminate all friends who exploited me for my kindness.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
I think that many of us conceal our anger and irritation. I struggle to get angry at all. Ten when I do, the reaction is usually disproportionate to the offence caused. I think that it good that you are able to see those that use you instead of those that want to be your genuine friend.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Aug 08
i can look at a problem from every angle which makes making a decision hard since i can understand all sides.. its good to have but takes me forever before i decide which is right and which isnt.. i also care for people too much (as in i worry about if every one is ok etc) and stress too much lol..
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
I don't think that those things are too bad. At least you care which is more than can be said for some others. Don't overly stress though. What will be will be is my take on that.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Oh my pikey, I have alot of bad traits or faults as you call them. I am extremely indecisive. I am a Libra, that is one of my character traits. I always have a habit of interrupting people when they are speaking. I am very impatient. I am not good at waiting for things to happen. I have a low tolerance for everything. Gee, I think that about sums it up!
@p1kef1sh (45638)
13 Aug 08
I'm sorry that you've had to wait three hours for my response then Opal. LOL. I have those traits and I am Aries. Maybe it's not the stars influence but the way that we are anyway. I get so impatient, except for things that I don't want to happen,
2 people like this