Do you think it is right to force a child to sit there and finish everything on

@sharie16 (2213)
Philippines
August 13, 2008 7:35am CST
their plate? any help please...i usually this to my son, was that a bad practice or you also do it with your kids?
4 people like this
24 responses
@gwoman2 (711)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Hi Sharie16, no, no you shouldn't. I am 55 and to this day I never forget gagging and trying so hard not to throw up because my mom forced us to eat everything on our plate. I don't think this is good...of course children should eat nutriciously but not to the point where they are forced. I do think this is not a good idea...think of it this way: How would you like it if someone, anyone, made you eat everything on your plate? I don't think you would appreciate that at all. ~Stay well, stay cool, and never, never stress~ ~G~ An inspirational verse for you from Simple Wisdom... {A single burst of effort is not enough to succeed. It's perseverance that moves us steadily toward our dreams}
2 people like this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
oh...so that wasn't a good practice at all? can that create a phobia to kids? and would ever think that i act like a monster? lol...
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
oh dear thanks for those thoughts! Have a nice day! God bless!
@gwoman2 (711)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Hey Sharie, you are not a monster at all...I do have a problem with my kids, especially my youngest who is 18 (see avatar) she is sooooooooooo picky, picky, picky...UGH!! (I'm surethis is my fault!) she wastes a lot of food but I am right there behind her to pick it up and give it to the strays...I feel better that it really doesn't go to waste, at least a hungry doggie eats it...oh FYI I tend to put the food out behind the bushes in my yard, not too close to the house... I'm always preaching to both my daughters about all the hunger that there is in this world, even here in little Bridgeton, NJ there are many hungry families who are fed by local churches and community programs...it's a shame. Just a thought...yesterday I tried the "Steamers" veggies and rice or just veggies with butter sauce or cheese OH MY GOD...DELICIOUS...both my daughters liked them too...try these for your babies...I'm sure they will forget that they are eating veggies cause they are sooooooooooooo good!! ~G~
• United States
13 Aug 08
My grandmother was forced to clean her plate as a child because she was not supposed to waste food. She never enforced this rule on her children or grandchildren. It became a habit as she grew older and added to her weight problem. I can remember her asking us to clean off our left overs from our plates because if we didn't it would bother her so much she would eat it. This is why I have never done such with my kids. Instead I start them off with small portions and they are welcome to have more. If they have eaten only the mac-n-cheese and not vegtables they have to eat the vegtables before getting more mac-n-cheese. It may not be the greatest system, but I know they won't have the same bad habit as my grandmother.
2 people like this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
oh, now i know it's not really a good practice to my son...i should start doing the right practice from now on...thanks and have a nice day! God bless!
@gemini_rose (16192)
13 Aug 08
I have four children, my eldest is now 16. When he was a child I used to do this to him, I would make him sit there until he had eaten every single thing I gave him. Meal times were a battle ground and we both used to dread them. I had my second child 9 years later and he was a funny eater too and so I started off the same way with him, making him sit there until he had eaten all his food. All that used to happen was everyone ended up upset because of all the tension, so I tried a different tack, I just used to make him what he liked, put less on his plate and told him to just eat as much as he could. I was surprised with the results, he ate more, was willing to try different foods and there was no stress. I now have four kids, and have kept the same ways with them and they eat lovely without being forced.
2 people like this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
really? oh i would try that technique also with my son..thanks for sharing that! Have a nice day! God bless!
@ersmommy1 (12596)
• United States
13 Aug 08
We have just started having a difficulty with our daughter saying she doesn't like certain foods. She is 5. And used to try a variety of foods. No, we don't make her finish everything on her plate. But she has to finish the veggies.
2 people like this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
was that so? my son was now 4, and he usually chooses a variety of food, often, he doesn't like to eat veggies, which in that case i really forced him...and so i do it every meal that every food served to him should all be finished...
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I don't think it is right to force a child to eat if he doesn't want to. Encourage, yes, but not force. He needs to learn to listen to his body and stop when he has had enough. I think instead you could set a rule that he has to sit at the table for a certain amount of time, say 20 minutes. At the end of that time, he can get up. If he didn't eat much, the next time he asks for a snack, you give him what he left on his plate. That way, he is eating when he is hungry, but not only eating snack foods. Another reason is that sometimes I don't feel like eating, or I don't want much. I wouldn't want someone telling me I Have to eat. I believe that we should treat children with respect, the same way we expect to be treated. That means not expecting them to do things we would never do ourselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Aug 08
I really appreciate how you put this...treat children with respect! That is a great lesson.
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
yes...thanks to that...it maybe a lesson to me.. have a nice day and God bless! Thanks for sharing some thoughts..
@tessah (6621)
• United States
14 Aug 08
i think forcing a kid to eat only forms bad eating habits later on in their lives.. as well as causes mealtime to be stressful. when theyre full theyre full.. why make them feel sick by overstuffing them? if someone were to put a plate of food you didnt particularly care for in front of YOU and FORCED you to finish every scrap of it.. how would you feel? kids are no different.. they are their own little individualistic selves, have their own likes and dislikes and tastes. they arent going to starve themselves.. unless of course you turn meals into a control issue, in which case youll be fueling future anorexia and bolemia issues as they attempt to take that control back when theyre older.
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
yeah, i think somehow there are advantages that i could prevent...but my son still young to be treated like that...and you're right i may sound like i'm m aking my son's mealtime stressful...thanks for the post! Have a nice day! God bless!
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I would say no, as a child I know my mother forced us to eat everything. then there was not much money, and they could not afford to waste the food. I understand that now. But do not force the child to eat everything. Give out small portions, and praise them when they eat it all. Have them help you prepare the food, and let them know that it will be good for them, maybe they will be so happy that they prepared the food they would be more willing to eat it.
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
yes, i definitely would start doing now while its not too late...i may sound like a strict mom to my son..thanks! Have a nice day! God bless!
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Ah, the clean plate policy, lol. They say that kids, who are forced to eat everything on their plate, will be obese later on in life. They don't learn to stop eating when they are full. Our kids don't have to eat everything on their plate. They have to eat certain things like veggies, even if they don't like them, but only one or two spoonfulls (to eventually get used to the taste of it, at least that's the hope). In our house they only get small portions of food but can have more, if they have emptied their plate. We do realize they don't eat adult portions. In fact, our girls eat less than their little brother and we portion accordingly. Now, after my husband and I are done eating, and they are nowhere near finishing, we set a timer to like 15 to 20 minutes after which they are released from the table. However, there is a punishment involved (mostly because they usually leave food they don't like). If it is dinner, they go straight to bed. If it is breakfast or lunch, they don't get a snack until the next main meal is served (after all they weren't hungry at the last meal, lol). Sometimes, because they have to sit the extra time at the table, they don't get to go to or do things that were planned for right after the mealtime. So, in essence, no they don't have to eat everything, but for the small portion they get, if they don't finish, there are consequences, especially, if the refusal stems from a simple dislike of the food in front of them.
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
oh thanks for sharing your story...i really appreciate that your story would be somehow a lesson to me either...it's useful that there's a better practice than forcing children...i should do it now..thanks to that! Have a nice day and God bless!
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Just put yourself on your kids shoe, imagine you are being forced by someone to eat all the food in your plate and you're full. That's how the kids feel if we do that to them and sure, they can't complain because they are afraid. That's giving them so much stress and they don't enjoy the foods anymore. I agree that we want our kids to be healthy but we can do it in so many ways which is not stressful to them. If they only eat less food, we can let them drink milk or soya or lets' think of other foods as substitute to those they don't eat. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
yes,i think thats better..thanks for the help! Have a nice day! God bless!
@ebsharer (5516)
• United States
13 Aug 08
No you should NEVER force a child to finish what is on there plate. First of all if your child doesn't eat every thing more then twice a week then maybe your giving him to much! A child stomach is only as big as there fist! Kids are different from adults they need to eat little bits more often. They can only hold so much. Give your child less then if he wants more give him more! Whats the harm in that. You rather him ask for more then sit there for hours on end because you weren't smart enough to give him the right portion! With my kids its works like this. I give them there plate with the food on it if they eat it all great, if not then they don't get a snack. If they decide they are hungery again then they can finish there breakfast, lunch, or dinner - then have a snack. I think its horriable you force your child to sit and finish his dinner. Yes it is a VERY bad practice! Maybe you should take a parenting class.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
thanks to that words of enlightenment..yes i think it maybe good to put it that way..just give them lil and let them finish but not force them at all if they cant.. thanks for the help! have a nice day! God bless!
1 person likes this
@rkrish (3003)
• India
13 Aug 08
as a child, they doesnt know how much they need upto next food. they take for the time and if their concentration on fun then tats all they say bye bye to food. it has become our responsibility to feed them..... nothing bad, its your responsibility. they will feel good in future when they become mature
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
thanks for enlightenment..so it wasn't bad at all?
• United States
14 Aug 08
I remember as a child going to my God mother's house for the weekend and on this one particular weekend, she made corned beef hash for breakfast. I didn't like it but was forced to eat it. Til this day, I still don't eat that stuff. It is a bad thing to force a child to eat because they will resent not only you, but the food they're being forced to eat. If you're doing it, stop it now okay, please! Take care and God Bless!
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
it could possibly end that way...yes i may stop doing it now...thanks for all your advices....i really appreciate it...
• United States
14 Aug 08
I don't mean to disagree with some on here...my son is not old enough to force him to eat whats on his plate. However, my mom made us eat what was on our plate. This became a habit and now I have a hard time not overeating if it is on my plate. I can be really full and still eat it because wasting it isn't allowed. This has lead to other issues. You son will eat when he is hungry and it is fairly normal for parents to struggle getting their kids to eat veggies. Just add other healthy foods or hide the veggies by blending them up small and adding them to pasta or rice.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
great i think that would work so that my son will like veggies... thanks fo sharing... have a nice day! God bless!
• Canada
14 Aug 08
What we do with our four kids is this, you get a teaspoon of everything... that you have to eat, then you take more of what you want to take more of, and when they are full they are full, but at least this way with the "teaspoon rule" the are at least trying everything. I am a big advocate of teaching kids portion sizes etc. so that they can learn to eat healthy before weight becomes an issue when they are older. I let my kids listen to their bodies about when they are full, hungry etc. If we force them to eat everything on their plates we teach them how to ignore their bodies etc. and I was raised in a eat everything on your plate families, to this day I feel guilty leaving anything on my plate, and my weight really shows it. I am determined to not make the same mistake with my kids. That being said, they do need to choose the healthy foods etc. so that is why I adopted the teaspoon rule, so they are at least getting some of everything. The one of my four that is not big on vegetables is told "if you eat this teaspoonful of veggies....then you don't have to have more this meal. If they still flat out refuse to eat...then there is no more food for them until the next meal.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
oh thanks for sharing...i would also adopt your techniques like that...it could be better..thanks for sharing!
• United States
14 Aug 08
I never force my son to eat everything on his plate. I try to get him to eat it all by offering dessert, but sometimes he just doesn't eat it all. He usually says he wants to finish it later, which he usually does.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
oh so that works? yeah i think its better that way...thanks for sharing!
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
14 Aug 08
My husband when he was growing up was forced to eat all the food on his plate and it was things like liver and stuff like that so he hates it now and won't even try it b/c he was forced to eat it so he doesn't want that for our kids. I hated peas when I was younger but love them now. I don't think you should force your kids to eat everything on their plates. My daughter doesn't and when she ask for a treat later we tell her she should of eaten all her dinner. Sometimes I will save her plate and when she says she hungry I give her back her plate and she eats it. Shes 3 so she gets in her moods.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
i would also do that practice, maybe it's better that way than forcing my son...thank you so much! Have a nice day! God bless!
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
14 Aug 08
No, I never made my boys sit until everything was finished, but I did make sure that they would taste everything on the plate. I think forcing a child to sit and eat after they are full will just maybe make them overweight later on in life. They might get into the frame of mind that they HAVE to overeat. My kids are about grown now and very much on the skinny side. They eat until they are about full and then stop and save any extras for later. If your son refuses to eat and then wants to eat later, put the food in the fridge and give it to him when he starts saying that he is hungry. This will show him that he still has to eat the food that was given to him and you are not going to make any "special" food for him later on. I hope that you get pass this phase that I think most kids go through.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
oh thanks for the enlightenment and for sharing your thoughts...i really appreciate it..have a nice day! God bless!
• United States
14 Aug 08
No you should not force your child to finish everything on their plate. It encourages overeating. My father did this to me as a child and It made me feel like I always needed to finish everything on my plate. Needless to say I am very overweight. I now have 4 children of my own. They do need to eat and not just treats. I don't give them a ton to eat but they have to eat some of everything and at least try the stuff that they say they don't like. They also have to eat a fair amount to get dessert. I hope this helps.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
indeed..it is very helpfull..when i hear people who experiences here in MYLOT, i feel guilty that i did the bad practice to my son...well i hope its not yet too late...thanks! Have a nice day! God bless!
@riyasam (16571)
• India
14 Aug 08
well,my daughter is 5 and quite a fussy eater.i think if i was not strict with her in matters of eating,she would not eat at all.i think i do it for some time till she gains understanding of what is good for her.
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
yes i think that can be a reason to that, and you're right it should not be done all the time..we just need patience i think when it comes to kids attitude... thanks! have a nice day! God bless!
@marcialoyd (1174)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I would never do that. Because in my opinion while you are trying to do the right thing you could actually be doing harm by teaching them to OVEREAT. Which could lead to future health problems. But thats just my opinion though. :-)
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
it's possible...so i should change my way of feeding up my son.. thanks for the post! Have a nice day!