Do you think the midlife crisis is harder for a man or woman?

Hi Jill, This is only my opinion and I don't want to upset too many men here but from experience I see women growing stronger at this age and more accepting and more determined to enjoy life after years of nuturing both men and children and I see men as becoming like children again and weaker to the charms of younger women, to rekindle their own youth I guess and most definitely a flash car, my ex husband is a prime example of this, he seems to have lost all his logic and has moved a 25 year old in, much to the digust of both my daughters and has bought himself a corvette and a skyline to go with, why???. I have never lost the child within me but I still am sensible enough not to do something this crazy even with the hormone changes in my body, which as you know I have been having a hard time with of late LOL. Ellie :D

I do have an opinion. I think the midlife crisis is more promenent in males. Nobody wants to age but it happens to all of us. I am content where I am right now in my life so it's not myself I'm talking about here who is aging and doing weird things. It's my husband. He made a commitment to a particular sport a few years ago as a coach. He always wants to be with his players, who happen to be 18 year old girls. He doesn't come directly home after practices but instead hangs out in the parking lot and drinks or goes to a bar with the other coaches. Although I am not 18, I do have a better shape than many of these girls. They are a bit overweight and I am not. Ok so I am thinner but not as pretty to look at because of my age. He wants to keep company with a younger crowd of females. I'm not jealous but resent it because if he had to choose between the two groups, myself or the younger girls, he would rather be with the girls and chat about the sport. I really do believe it makes him feel younger. Bet you're sorry you asked.....lol Forgot to mention that real often he won't take my calls when he is with this group so I don't bother to call anymore. Today is probably not a good day for my comment here since yesterday was another day on the field for tryouts for next year and he didn't come home for hours after the tryouts ended. I was not a happy person!

Men are not the only ones who cheat in midlife. It's astonishing though to me to see how many people do cheat. I am very lucky I have a very faithful husband, and agree with you. It depends on the individual.

I couldn't say whether it feels different, but many times its manifested in different ways. Although it does depend on the individual of course, many women do take this time to "find themselves" while there are many men who take the time to "find their youth." I will be approaching chronological middle age soon yet I'm just entering a life change usually reserved for younger women. I have a twenty month old baby! I still want to, "find myself" by returning to school, generating more interests, sharing my cards and writings and finally finding some female friends. I'm not even sure I know how! While doing so I want to participate in family adventures too, my husband and I want to go to Disney World and on the cruise ships on our own and with family, we want to visit Asia and try out as many restaraunts as we can! Although he's partial to buffets!

Hmm, jillhill. What a thought-provoking discussion you pose on myLot! I think we hear more about women's difficulties during menopause but I do think men engage in their own struggles in life in their 50s and 60s. I agree that these struggles vary from individual to individual. I guess my opinion is that men and women have equal access to angst and emotional struggles during mid and later life. I do think men and women differ in how they experience these challenges. Women I've known tend to become more introverted and thoughtful about the process and maybe even a little afraid by it and they acknowledge those feelings. Men I have been acquainted with, seem less likely to recognize they are "going through something" and may pursue new goals, women, whatever because, at the time, it's really what they want to do. They may not ever recognize they were undergoing some midlife stuff. They just abruptly change their lives without caution or recognition that they might want to think about it a little further. There's my 2 cents' worth (or was that just a penny?)

I think it is harder on men. I mean we know what to expect. Hell. lol Men how ever don't talk about things like this and just get crazy and go and start to buy things and all that. I heard that most people in there 40's get depressed as in. This is it. This is all I have to show for my life. You can have the happiest marraige and still you see it as this is it. The house the kids. Now what? I have heard and I'm hoping that in your 50's you are happyer then before. As I'm in my late 40's. lol the only thing I'm hopeing for is to be happy again. As I'm at that point this is it. I spent my hole life working for this?lol. So yes I believe it is harder on Men as they don't talk about it. Us woman we talk about everthing. lol Have a nice day.

Personally I think Men try to prove to themselves that they are not getting older, I find that Men or should I say most Men, have a problem with getting older, we Women or again most Women take it in our Stride, I always say you are as old as you feel, to us the Hormone bit is nothing new as it happens through Pregnancy, after Childbirth and the dreaded Visitor every Month, I am going through it now and yes at times it gets me down but I accept it is part of Life, Men just don't want to get older so they have their ways of staying Younger as they see it

Women are able to talk with each other and discuss getting older. Men have a lot harder time trying to deal with getting older. My husband and I discuss midlife changes, so it really has been easy for both of us.

I was about to say it depends on the person. There are women out there that just go through the change and they are fine. My mom was one.If she had bad hot flashes, she never told me.And there are men out there that reach middle age and they don't get the new girlfriend or boyfriend and the sports car. I guess if you are happy where you are , when the change comes you don't feel the need for the sports car.

I think its harder for a woman because they lose a lot of attractiveness in middle age. I'm 57 and I do have something of a crises but its not that big a deal. I can, however, see where it could be crucial for other people. Especially for women.

I think that women have the harder time physically. Men have a harder time mentally because they have a harder time moving along and admitting that they are getting older.

i think they both have it but the women stay out of trouble more than men since a lot of guys (not all) go and cheat to feel young again.. women tend to get make overs or have mood swings.. but i am being stereotypical there so feel free to slap me for my ignorance haha

This is my personal opinion, I think men have a harder time normally coping with it because they don't have many "outlets" as we, women have. We socialize more, have more hobbies, and are more open to talk about what's troubling us so that it does not stay pent-up inside of our system, while most men I know find it hard to open up. They suffer alone and because of this, sometimes they do things which they would regret later on. All the best in our midle age and happy mylotting.

I feel dreadful to be a girl

personally I think that the so called "midlife crisis" is harder for the wives and family of men going through it...... and for the husband and family of women going through it.... but not actually the individuals themselves who are going through it. shew. I am not even going to reread that as I might get myself confused... hehe