My Twenty Year Old Roomate Is Getting On My Last Nerve!!!
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
August 20, 2008 12:19am CST
Right now she is at her mom's house in Santa Clarita, thank God. I do not want to even go into all that she is dealing with, but let's just say that I do not blame her for being in the state that she is in. The problem is how she is handling it. In my opinion, she is being very self-destructive.
When she is here, she sleeps all day and is in a grouchy mood. She has even snapped at me a few times. When she sleeps all day long without even eating or getting up to use the restroom, I leave the apartment. Finally when she has slept enough she will just take off and come back whenever.
This last time when I asked her if she was going to get up and eat, she said that she has had a migraine for the past four days. Finally, she got up and left, after mumbling something about when she would be back. She has been gone for at least a week.
She is usually a very clean person. But this time she left clothes all over her bed and laundry piled up very high. So I went on her Myspace page to try and find out what was really going on with her. On the fourteenth she took five times the amount of muscle relaxer the doctor had prescribe and then said she was telling everyone just in case.
She also take sleeping pills, but she is not supposed to be taking any pills at all. At any given time, she could have overdosed in this room. Whether accidentally or on purpose. For some reason she is fascinated with death. She has the same mental disorder as me, but I have never been this that taken with the idea of dying. Though it is common for my disorder.
So I reported her to the staff at the board and care where we stay. They do not care one bit. They don't seem to understand that fact that as long as she stays here and pays rent, they are responsible for her. But she comes and goes all the time, whenever she chooses and then they want to ask me where she is, as if I am being paid to keep tabs on her.
So when she e-mailed me yesterday, I told her the truth about reporting her and now we are going back and forth online. She is saying that she will not overdose. She knows this because she has tried too many time unsuccessfully. I am trying to get her to see that she is being self destructive and playing doctor.
At this point, I do not care what she does, but if she comes back here sleeping all day and not eating, she will be in for a rude awakening. I am not about to have a dead person in here with me. What would you do in my shoes?
5 people like this
7 responses
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
20 Aug 08
It seems like no-one wants to take responsibility for anything in the place your living in, and just as well your leaving, because I bet they don't take any responsibility for you when you need it. I think you have done all that you can do and if there is no other channel to take other than reporting to the board, then what else can you do? She isn't your responsibility Rozie and even though you have tried to communicate with her to make sure she is ok and all, what more can you do?. You can keep reporting her till your blue in the face and they still won't respond. The sooner you get out of that place, the better your life will be. You have a lot more on your plate than having to worry about your roommate who doesn't seem to care much about herself. Sorry to be so harsh - you have a lot on your plate right now Rozie and I know you just want to help but I think you've done all you can!
3 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I hear you on that one Rozie. You're a good friend to care about her but with whats going on in your life at that moment, takes precidence over this. She's lucky someone cares for her :)
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
Hi Rozie37! I think I will be doing the same thing you just did. I will be reporting her to the staff and will also tell her mom about what's happening with her. I would try to talk to her and not let her sleep all day without eating. If she wouldn't listen, I will tell her doctor or anyone who I think will listen and help. Other than that, I am not sure what more I can do except to pray for her.
Take care always..God Bless!
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
20 Aug 08
I started praying for her when I first realized that she was in trouble. I do not know how to contact her mother, but I believe that she is still staying with her. She has been dealing with her daughter doing this all of her life. When she first moved here, she was very angry at her mother for sending her to hospitals when she was a child.
I asked her what she expected her mother to do. I also impressed upon her that as her mother has her own mental issues, I am sure that she did the best that she could. She and her mother are much closer now. But she is dealing with other issues now. Her boyfriend just recently told her that she is only one of many. When I talked to her about the boyfriend before all of this happened, she got an attitude with me. She was say to me things like, what makes you think that you know everything? I was trying to tell her that I have already been through all of this stuff.
The boy had her so manipulated that he was kissing and hugging other girls in front of her and she was dealing with it and refused to admit that it was hurting her. I am in an awkward position, so there is not much that I can do for her.
3 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
Hi dear friend! You have been such a caring person and have tried to help others as much as you can. In my thoughts, you have done already so much. Just pray for her still, sometimes even if we don't want to, we have to step back and let them be for awhile.
lovelots..faith210
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169530)
• United States
24 Aug 08
I would call whatever your state call Adult Protective Services. Here in Kansas we call the State Department of Rehabilitation Services. In Oklahoma it is the Department of Human Services. I would express my concern about the roommate.(Keep notes, if you can) and also about the fact that the management is doing nothing to improve the situation. Bear in mind that they may think they are just allowing your roommate her rights. If she has a case manager, she should be called in as well.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
23 Aug 08
call the police tell them that you are afraid she will overdose,
and tell her she needs to find a new place to live, you cannot handle this destructive behavior.
2 people like this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
26 Aug 08
Rozie, you have to be careful she is only your roommate. You are not her keeper. You did what you should do, now if she comes back and has slept longer then normal and you cannot arousal can you call 911 and have her butt sent to the ER? Can you call her mother? Do you know who she is getting her pills from? One of these days she is going to run out of money or run out of pills.
I am so sorry you have to go through something like this. I thought if you lived in a board and care you had to be home at night or tell someone where you were. I guess I am wrong.
Now you are going to move soon aren't you? I guess you need to keep up the positive thinking on your big adventure of moving and then you will be rid of all the drama of what goes on at the board and care.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
27 Aug 08
Indeed they are supposed to be aware of your comings and goings, but they do not care. She has come back and we talked about everything. She told me that it is nice that they trust her enough to come and go as she pleases. I said, it is not about trust, they could care less. This is why I am leaving.
When she first moved here, she told them she was not taking medication and did not need any. All along, she was stilling seeing her family doctor in Santa Clarita and getting meds from him. They know this now, but they still don't care. Now that I am leaving, I do not need to be concerned about her over dosing in here.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
29 Aug 08
Do you have a place to stay yet? I hope you can find a place where you will be happy and not have to deal with all the crap you have had to there. I wish you the best my friend.
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
21 Aug 08
Just keep praying for her and for help for you Rozie! I don't blame you for being upset. I probably would have asked for help too. Too bad everything is about money and not about people! I have dealt with lots of young people and they usually come back from mars at some point in their twenties.
This one sounds like it's more than just the norm and it may take her wanting to get right for it to actually happen. So all you can do is pray and hopefully the way you are will rub off on her. Wishing you good luck and many blessings!
This one sounds like it's more than just the norm and it may take her wanting to get right for it to actually happen. So all you can do is pray and hopefully the way you are will rub off on her. Wishing you good luck and many blessings!2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
23 Aug 08
I know what you mean. When my nieces got to their twenties, I do not know what made me think that they would all of a sudden change. They were still acting the same. But then little by little I can see them maturing as they are having to take on more responsibility. I will continue to pray for her, as I always have. She is Atheist and to me, that alone demands much prayer.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
20 Aug 08
It sounds like she needs to see a Dr.. I cannot believe they won't do anything. I am not sure what you can do. It is sure sad that no one but you seems to care what she is doing to herself.
1 person likes this
