May I Hug You

@p1kef1sh (45696)
August 21, 2008 3:50am CST
When was the last time that you hugged or cuddled someone OTHER than your child(ren) or spouse/partner? Are you a tactile person of is the idea of hugging someone quite alien to you.
23 people like this
64 responses
• Australia
11 Sep 08
There is a significant difference between being a tactile person and being a physically demonstrative person. Personally, I don't do hugs much. The contact can be overwhelming, although I do enjoy it sometimes. But I am highly tactile; I love to touch things. I run my fingertips along every surface I can reach, if it's not too socially inappropriate, just for the opportunity to appreciate the texture of the material against my skin. I love the contrast, the way some elements can almost make you more aware of the shape and composition of your skin. I realize I'm diverging somewhat from the original query, so yes - hugging can be an invasive, almost frightening experience for me. It can make my sense feel totally inundated, like my nerves can't quite process the myriad rapid sensations at quite the rate they should. Sometimes it almost feels like violation, if someone catches me off guard - I have to catch myself before I react too strongly or violently to their gesture, at times.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Sadly, I am not a touchy person either - never really have been. I wish I was. I AM working and am getting better at giving and accepting hugs. But it is a very long and slow process (at least for me it is). I agree with many of the other comments that hugs are almost fundamental and so important to the development of children (and adults). I was born with a physical handicap that needed to be repaired with quite a few operations my first two years. Because of the surgeries I had my arms in braces so I would not "touch" my wounds. And my parents were careful how they touched me (and allowed others to touch me). After reading and taking child development classes I believe a big part of my being uncomfortable with hugs (and touching in general) stems from those first few years. Being deprived (if you will) of a lot of physical contact from others (and even from myself) may have "conditioned" me (in a way). Now as an adult I have to almost "talk my way through a hug." I tend to "think" while receiving a hug that I really need to "follow through" for the other person. I know I "should" feel something other than the usually, "this feels awkward" - so I almost "search" for additional emotions. (That sounds a bit odd - but it is true.) Well...I have gone on too long. Great discussion p1kef1sh. It has been a while since I really thought about hugs. Take care and I hope you get your "hug(s) today!"
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
I am sure that those operations and braces must have been painful for you. A hug doesn't have to be physical, although I concede that was what I was thinking when I was posting the discussion. Knowing that you care about someone, and letting them feel that is just as good. But please persevere. I'm sending you a hug anyway. Hug.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Ah...I took questions through the physical realm only. You are correct...it is EXTREMELY important to give those metaphysical and emotional hugs. I am much more comfortable with those. :-) I truly enjoy sending those kids of hugs! I appreciate your kind words of understanding AND your hug! THANK YOU! And consider yourself hugged as well! Take care and thanks again for the discussion and your comments!
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
21 Aug 08
HI p1, I met a new friend last week...We first met online and we decided to meet in person since she is also living close to where I am now, she dropped by in our house with her husband, and we hug each other!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
That's truly wonderful Chepcapricorn. To meet an online friend in the flesh is truly amazing. I hope that you will be good friends and enjoy many more hugs.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12160)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I think everyone heeds a hug daily. I do my best to HUGGG my friends daily. Sometimes I hug my friends in real. Sometimes I send a virtual hug to my online friends. I always hope my online friends can feel my arms wrapping around them as I'm hugging them tight. Just in case I missed anyone ))) HUGGGG ((( from Me to you!!!
• United States
21 Aug 08
I feel it, sugar. Mmmm, warm and tight! Thank you, Lady M.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12160)
• United States
21 Aug 08
Was it as good for you as it was for Me???
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Two of my favourite ladies hugging! Spells trouble for me perhaps? Better hug 'em back double quick. HUG!!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
21 Aug 08
I'm a big hugger. Physically and virtually. Lately though I've become shy of hugging 'old' men. They tend to hug with their hips and giggle like schoolgirls. LOL
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Sorry. I'll try to steer clear in future.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
21 Aug 08
Ah but Mr. P1ke, YOU are not old in my book - anyone younger than me can use their hips to hug me anytime! ROFL
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
At my age it's mostly "Hippy Hippy Shakes" !!!
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I am such a hugger! the last time i hugged someone that was not family was my son's girlfriend. she was so upset because he was leaving i thought she needed a hug. so i gave her one. i love to hug. it's a great way to connect with people
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
That was very sweet of you Momma. He'll be alright, but it won't stop you girls worrying. Have a hug from me and give his girl a squeeze too. XX
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
21 Aug 08
we all know how hard it is to leave a loved one. even harder when we were in our younger years. she is a great girl, and i just wanted to be there for her. and let me son know, that no matter now far he is, momma is always taking care of things
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
It is nice that you can have that kind of relationship with your son's girlfriend, momma. I think that is great.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25136)
• Australia
31 Aug 08
I miss hugs. I can't remember the last time I got a lovely cuddling hug from a friend. I've been hugged by friends (or to be strictly correct...I have hugged) but it's been stiff and I quite often feel a restaining hand on my arm, so the whole activity feels uncomfortable. I'm a generous hugger but it seems that if we are in public, many people are embarrassed by displays of affection, no matter how innocent they are. I think that's sad....sad for people who feel that way and very bloody sad for me. I love to hold hands and to kiss and hug...I've always been that way, even as a child.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
31 Aug 08
Just let me at you!! Hugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg XX
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@MsTickle (25136)
• Australia
11 Sep 08
Aww thanks Pikey. I opened my email alert and I laughed and cried at the same time. I really felt your hug. My true thanks and a big huggy hug back. Love ya mate.
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
11 Sep 08
Let's try that again: HHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
1 person likes this
@lloyd2002 (182)
21 Aug 08
Can't remember the last time someone other than my family hugged me, but I wouldn't mind it, especially if it was an attractive female
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
We can live in hope Lloyd. Hope that someone comes along very soon. Heck your a DJ. They ought to be throwing themselves at you. LOL.
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21 Aug 08
You would tihnk so wouldn't you, but alas that dosen't appear to be the case
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
This week work the words "I need a hug" into the show and see what happens. You never know. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19387)
• San Marcos, Texas
21 Aug 08
P1ke..I'm a hugger and i hugg everyday... lots of people come in the store and I give out free huggs..lol..so i will gladly give you one wonderful one if you'd like?
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Please Rosie. I'm in major need right now. Hug XX
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@Rosekitty (19387)
• San Marcos, Texas
21 Aug 08
One great big squishy hugg for you ((((((((((((Me and You))))))))))))))
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Thank you Rosie. I feel much better now.
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@super_jj (1417)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I'm not really a "touchy" kind of person. I choose the people i hug, and i'm only comfortable huggin people who i am quite close to. But i do appreciate hugs from friends. It makes me feel nice. Hehehehehe. The last person i hugged i guess was my ex-girlfriend, and that was almost a year ago! Hehehehe. 8)
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
We all know what we are comfortable with. I hope that you get someone to hug quite soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Aug 08
I'm the same way, very affectionate toward my children, boyfriend, and family, but I'm not big on just random hugs from random people lol, little ackward :) Although, there was one time in the supermarket where a mentally handicapped boy, probably about 15 years old, came out of nowhere and hugged me - it was wierd at first just because I didn't know who he was and it came from nowhere lol, but his Mom chased me down and apologized and explained his condtion, and I told her it was okay, it actually was very sweet. Just kind of makes you think, if we all had that innocence and lack of boundaries and aprehension about other people, the world would be a much better place. ... but my favorite hugs are from kids, whether mine or someone else's. There's just something so sincere about them and no matter how cruddy a mood I'm in, it will always brighten my day. Sadly, I can't remember the last person I hugged that wasn't family or a close friend, except for that boy in the supermarket.
• Barbados
22 Aug 08
bmb
@littleowl (7157)
21 Aug 08
Hi p1ke I'm a very tactile person and would give you a hug anyday! I hug all my friends when I meet them and say goodbye especially if they are in need of a hug..I love a hug from someone..though sad to say haven't had one for a few days apart from my daughter and grandson littleowl
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Look out of your window Littleowl. See those long arms: HUG!!
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@littleowl (7157)
21 Aug 08
mmmmHUGs thats so lovely--hope you felt mine too..
@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
21 Aug 08
well.. i hug people when they make my life bearable or have great impact on my life.. and when i get emotional.. have not hug any guys before though... lol.. the last person i hug...hmmm... will have to be my councillor in secondary school. i was really emotional in secondary school, going through the teenage phrase... and she really helped me and showed me that someone, really cares for me as a human being. so, yes, i am really grateful of her... so i hugged her the last time when i went back to school with my friends to visit my form teacher.
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
I am sure that you will be hugging guys soon enough Raclie. Your counsellor sounds like a very good person.
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@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
21 Aug 08
she is!!!! i look up to her alot... and i feel that she can possibly be one of the best person i have ever met and will meet in my life. although she sees alot of messed up kids everyday, she never fails to give me the time i need to get things that are troubling me out of my system and make me realise that i am valuable. damn i miss her.
1 person likes this
@insulin (2480)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Hi there.THe last time I hug someone was lastweek and it was my friend.I usually hug my friend when I see them Or it's time for me to go home then I hug them and yeah I am happy from it.Hugging a person is really a great thing and just making them feel great.:-0 GOd bless and have a nice day.:-0
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
11 Sep 08
That sound wonderful. Thank you.
@remyby (28)
• Bahamas
23 Aug 08
Hugs are good,there even better when they come from love ones.
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
23 Aug 08
Those are the best I think.
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@nannacroc (4049)
21 Aug 08
No hugging, I'm English. I like to have two arms lengths between me and others at all times. Grandchildren and husband get the cuddles, no-one else.
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
It' a good job that I am you and you are me then. You'll just have to cuddle yourself! That's better.
1 person likes this
21 Aug 08
Hi plkeflsh, The last time I had a hugged was last week when I went to my friend's house and we always hug one another all my friends do its just natural to us, I know some people don't like it and when you go to them to hug them, they back off and sometimes they get the wrong impressions so I had to tell my other friend not just go and hug people she does not know too well, but here is a big 'HUG' from me. Tamara
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
People usually give out an aura if they are going to be resistant to a hug. But in your case Tamara. Let's HUG!!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Yes you can hug me. I love to hug, friends family members who ever. I am an affectionate person.
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
Thank you. I'm hugging you right back.
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I'm a hugger. If a neighbor is having a bad day, I want to hug him or her. In today's world, that's a bit strange, I guess. So I get my "hugginess" out in church every Sunday. Women in church always hug each other. Plus we have a male greeter at the door who is the best hugger. That's where my last non-family hug went.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
I got hugged by a male greeter at a church once. Turned out he was a bouncer! Life's like that when you're a Catholic in a Protestant area in Glasgow! We were on a holiday just after we married. It's almost what I remember most about that holiday. I love hugs though. Giving and receiving. Wonderful.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84201)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Aug 08
Not touchy feely, but hugging somebody you love and who loves you back feels GOOD...
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
It does indeed. I just like hugging full stop. LOL.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I'm a very tactile person, p1key darling. I hug my friends freely and often. I love the sense of warmth and love that I get from it and that I give with it. I think we all need touch to simply live, frankly. To be deprived of touch would be a cruel thing indeed. Just look at what it does to babies. They become very closed off people, unable to relate to others, when they're deprived of touch. If I couldn't hug and touch, I don't know what I'd do! So to all of my friends out there in the Land of Lot, I send you all the biggest and warmest of hugs. xxx to you all.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
21 Aug 08
I've had those Nova hugs and they are fantastic, warm and genuine. Love you Nova. Here's hugging you back - HUG XXX
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