what wil u do if you'll be invited to attend d weding of the person you love?..

August 27, 2008 10:32am CST
will you attend the wedding or not?..actually we're good friends for couple of years when we suddenly lost communication because i got a bf (coz during our friendship,we planned not to hav any relationship and focus on our studies)..but i failed him..i can't blame him..we lost comunication for almost 5 years now and just ds year we had a chance to comunicate again..his getting married few months from now..i love him..he confesed that f i havnt broke my promise,he could hav courted me at the right time..i really regret what happened coz im not haapy with my recent relationship coz he's always on my mind..now that he's getting married,for sure he will invite me..will i attend or not?..help..i'm really confused..thanks in advance for taking time to drop by here..
5 people like this
27 responses
• China
28 Aug 08
i have ever attended friends' wedding. what i will do is 1 send gift. it's always money.it's custom in our country. 2 send wish to the new couple.
2 people like this
@rustantl (258)
• United States
28 Aug 08
This is a very tough decision to make...Really the only person who knows how well you think you could handle it is you...Do you feel like you would break down crying during the ceremony?...If that is something you think you might do then going might not be the best thing for you to do You he does not need to know it is hurting you like that...Now, If you think you can be strong and maybe get the closure you need...Then i say get yourself HOT date put on your dancing shoes and at the reception dance the night away with you hot date and let him see how happy you are!!! I hope this helps a little bit! Good luck and keep me posted on what you decide!
2 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
Hmmm... This seems like a tough choice to make... and probably the only person who can really decide would be you happyfeet... Both ways would be hard but maybe you should ask yourself if you do go, will you be hurt more? what benefit will you get in going? What would the soon-to-be wife think? Those are some things that you need to ponder on. If you'd ask me personally, I would not go. I have deep respect for other people's relationships and I do not want to be cause for any hurt or arguments that may arise if I do go... It would be very hard but out of respect for him and his wife, I would stay at home especially if I still have feelings for the guy. You wouldn't want to be seen crying your eyes out during the wedding would you? I guess you get the drift... Just follow what your heart and mind say. Let them meet half way... you'll get your answer after.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
28 Aug 08
If I were in your situation then yes I would attend the ceremony at least. As you said you broke your promise and so he ended up with someone else, so you admit your mistake and it's time to move on. It's not easy to admit your mistake and witness someone you love marrying another girl, so when you go to the wedding, take a friend that is fun to be with. This way your friend can distract you when you start feeling sad. Don't go with your current bf because as you said you are not happy with him, if he insists to go anyway, then still bring this other friend with you this way you don't feel so miserable at the wedding.
2 people like this
@kean28 (226)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
i might never know what i will do to attend or not, it might hurt much and it might be the worst nightmare i will ever have in my whole life..what happen to you with him maybe happened for a purpose..the only thing that you can do is just to accept that life goes on..he is getting married and you have to move on..you can;t live your life thinking the if's your life..asking yourself what if? because it will put your life into hold that you can never step onwards..dearest, life goes on, things happen and it cannot be undone..it happen because it was destined to happen..we do not do out destiny it will happen no matter how much we stop it to happen..the only thing we have s free will meaning choices..choices of our lives..the that choice is to move on now...
2 people like this
• Bangladesh
28 Aug 08
That's really bad! I feel sorry for you. I think the guy is right. i mean you forbade him to do a relationship and as your commitment he didn't do that. But now you want to make a relationship with him. That's really wired! Because five month from now you was not interested in him. But today you are. In that point, he is doing just fine. If it happens in my life. Then it would be the most sorrowful day of my life. I am not that much emotional. But still I will be a shocked if my girl do this to me. i never do or try to do anything she doesn't like. So I am honest and I don't deserve this type of situation. By the way if I got invitation of my lover's wedding then I would attend her wedding ceremony. I may cry behind the door but I would show it to her. And after that I will try my best to get another one. My last advice is, let him live his life as his own wish. And don't ruin yourself either. try to figure out the wonderful things hidden under your new bf. Enjoy your life. Sometime making others happy make oneself happy.
1 person likes this
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
This is indeed a very difficult decision to make. But if I were you I would answer the following questions first then decide from there: 1. If he invited me on his upcoming wedding, would I able to stand the thought of being a witness of his vow to a another woman whom he has promised to love for the rest of his life instead of me? 2. If I will attend the wedding, Would I be able to accept that from that day forward he can never be mine and that I will lose him forever? 3. Wouldn't it hurt me to see him so happy while I'm pretending to be happy for him as well even though my heart is truly aching? 4. Will it haunt me for the rest of my life knowing that it wasn't me in the altar with him? There's so many questions I could think about. But the rest will be yours to ponder upon. Think of the possibilities that can happen that day. And know what is important for you. Then ask yourself those questions and answer them truthfully. It'll help you decide. If it doesn't really bother you seeing him getting married then go on. But knowing the fact that you are in love with this guy will bring you so much pain than you can ever imagine.
@4my1nonly (352)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
very hard decision to make,, you're the only one who can solve this or decide what you want...you should learn to move on, forget the past so you can live your life happy with new relationship,,,everything happens has a reason...MOVE ON..keep on smiling
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
28 Aug 08
If you really love someone you will do everything you can to make them happy, even sacrificing your happiness if neccessary. If you think that this person will make them happy, then you should support their relationship. I'm sure he would hurt him if you do not show up. If you want to have any sort of relationship with this guy, you should go or he will feel like you don't care at all and you will lose his friendship permanently.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
well, i am still thinking about it. I am not thinking of not coming to the wedding but I am thinking of how to act while seeing him taking his vow to the other woman. well, i am married now so it would be unfair for my husband if i make his marriage an issue. i am happy with my partner now but it's strange that i feel a sting in my heart when i heard that he's getting married...
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
in a way, i am happy that finally he's going to get married. at least, he can finally let go of his feelings for me and mine for him.
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
that is so sad happyfeet25. maybe you're really not meant to be and soon you will find your own happiness. I dont see anything wrong with attending the wedding,because seeing & hearing it all will provide you the closure you needed. Just make sure that you will be composed & will not shed much tears that the people might take notice of you. Be there, get the closure that you need. Be as pretty as you can be and let him see what he missed by not pursuing you. If he really loved you, he should've searched for you irregardless of your broken promise...but now that he is getting married, just let him go. Good luck.
27 Aug 08
oh...I feel so sorry for you! I would just tell him what I feel! I know it's hard but you will feel better and you won't regret that you didn't tell him before he got married. Did you watch "My Best Friend wedding"?It's this same situation in that movie.I just hope you will be ok.
1 person likes this
@titagdl (136)
• Mexico
27 Aug 08
you should go. He´s moved on and so should you. Theres really nothing else for you to do,but accept him as a friend,and if you are his friend, you will go to his wedding and celebrate him. Try to focus more on the future and not dwell in the past. You had your chance with him but it didnt happen so now he´s getting married and you should focus on your realtionship.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Aug 08
chill dont disrespect no1 just go nd talk wit her agen try nd become gd friends agen like u once were.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
hmm.. confessed to him so that you'll never regret and attend the wedding to see if you really have move on.. YEAH! that is easier said than done.. but whatta heck.. i think that would be the logical, the best but the hardest solution.
@mayka123 (16555)
• India
28 Aug 08
I think now both of you have moved on in life. Its been five years now. I think you should go and attend the wedding.
• India
28 Aug 08
If i were in your shoes..i wudnt attend the wedding cos i wud be so hurt beyond consolation and its wil haunt me for long.I cant pretend to b happy for him while im actaully wishing i was the girl standing beside him at the altar.I think i wudnt attend the wedding if im in ur situation.
@rocker21 (2716)
• India
28 Aug 08
It would surely make me remind of the song - GOODBYE MY LOVER by James Blunt
• China
28 Aug 08
Maybe I would be sad about myself for why we shouldn't walk to the end,but i must bless him or her happy for ever!
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
i guess i'll just be acting as indifferent to the situation as possible... Since in the first place, we don't have any commitments that I should be regretting by that time... Also, I must say that it's a bit desperate to act as if you're the one that should be loved by him by not approaching the guy and his bride...