When someone takes you to task for something you have said or done...
By cyntrow
@cyntrow (8523)
United States
August 31, 2008 3:52pm CST
even if it is a complete misunderstanding, do you take responsibility for your part in the misunderstanding? Do you take blame and apologize, or do you try to see the blame in others?
This is about a recent thing that I feel that I handled completely wrong. As soon as I realized the error of my ways, I instantly apologized and attempted to make amends. I did so because I felt that the misunderstanding was completely my fault and I alone needed to rectify it. It worked out well and everything is cool. But it got me thinking.
I know a number of people who will not take the blame for anything. If they are doing 75 in a 50 and get pulled over, they will blame the cop for trying to make a quota. If their 2 year old runs out into traffic because they were not paying attention, they would blame the kid for running. I fear that alot of times, people just cannot see the blame in themselves. I think that to take blame for them means that they are somehow, not right. I feel that we are all human and to admit when I am wrong means that I am growing as a person.
So what about you? Do you take the blame where it is warrented, or do you attempt to blame someone else? Do you know anyone who does this?
4 people like this
10 responses
@lingli_78 (12821)
• Australia
1 Sep 08
oh yes... if i am doing or said something wrong to anybody, i will make efforts to say sorry straight away... no questions asked... as a sinner, we always try to defend ourselves or look for a scapegoat whenever we make mistakes... we never want to admit that we do something wrong... instead, i had been told that the hardest word that people can say nowadays is sorry... it is so hard for us to say sorry... i hope people will learn to admit their mistakes as we are just human and humans do make mistakes... and as you say, those mistakes will make us grow and improve... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18260)
•
1 Sep 08
For some people it is hard to say sorry. For me it is very easy. However, just because i say it does not mean i mean it, instead i use it to get people to shut up and stop being angry
blessed be
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
1 Sep 08
Hi Cyntrow..
If I've done something that i feel is wrong I admit it and will make sure I never upset anyone..thats not why any of us are here for ..I have seen alot not care what they say and instead of clarifying it or apologising, they just feel its there way or else and who cares if anyone feels they are arrogant or what..I really don't like to hurt anyone so I try to avoid things that may get in that type of sitiation....but mess with my children..then the Mama Cat comes out..lol..
Cyn..don't worry yourself over this..you did what you feel is right and are the better person for it..
huggs
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
1 Sep 08
For me, I think it all depends on the situation. If it is just a small misunderstanding on my or there part, I usually tend to overlook it, and go back to like it is where nothing happened. But when it was something BIG even if they come to me asking for Forgiveness, a lot of times I will start talking with them again and being Friendly, while yet tending to be a little more cautious as well. If someone who has hurt me truly sees their wrong, and makes it up to me, I would be stupid to continue to turn away.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
Hi there cyntrow!
I am the type of person who would take full responsibility for my actions as well as the decisions I make. If I need to be held accountable for whatever, then so be it. But of course, I do not want to take the blame for something I am not supposed to be blamed for. Thus, I also do not point fingers when I fail unless that person really have something to do with such failure. If I need to be reprimanded or sanctioned because of my own faults, fine. But if someone else did it, not me, NO WAY! A lot of people blame others for whatever happened to them and I do not think it is fair.
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I've found, though, that many times misunderstandings, especially online, can be my fault even it it wasn't intended. If I have not been clear and someone's feelings are hurt by my lack of clarity, I will take the blame and apologize. It just feels right. Unfortunately, things are not always so black and white.
1 person likes this
@freefogging (356)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I take the blame if I deserve it and also if I realize I've done something wrong,you know? Because sometimes things are our fault but we don't realize it until someone else tells us. I know a few people that think everything that goes wrong is the other person's fault,the would never take the blame. I don't think it's that big a deal to take the blame. So you messed up, deal with it and get on with your life.
1 person likes this
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
1 Sep 08
Certainly it depends upon the situation but where I am clearly in the wrong I have no problem accepting blame and apologizing. I have also been known to apologize for hurting someone, even where there is no "fault" only the need to acknowledge that they have been hurt.
Admission of error does not make us weak.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18260)
•
1 Sep 08
I tend to appologise and take responsibility even when i am not at fault. I am one of those people who will do this just to get the other person to shut up. I get scared by anger and will confess to anything if it gets them to shut up
blessed be
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I will admit when I am wrong in a heartbeat but I won't admit to something I didn't do.And if something I did hurt someone but I didn't mean to or I didn't even know it did, I would apopgize when I found out.
@mummymo (23706)
•
9 Sep 08
You know sweety I have this huge thing about personal responsibility and I am always trying to make the kids see that they can't just go around blaming everyone else - we have to own out own mistakes! I will probably try to lay the blame on other people or circumstances sometimes although I really try very hard not to!Good for you for taking responsibility sweetheart but please do remember not everything is always completely your fault - if you take this to those extremes you would find yourself feeling totally overwhelmed and guilty! xxx
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Thanks for the concern, but, no...saying sorry is not an easy thing for me. I am a prideful person and it's hard to accept blame. However, it's far to easy to place blame. When I see a situation in which I have done something wrong, even if it's wrong by lack of information, I need to step up to the plate and do the right thing.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
1 Sep 08
I do not think that there is place for blame in a misunderstanding, since it was a misunderstanding and no one did anything wrong. I just explain what I meant, they explain what they thought I meant, we laugh about it and move on. The reason to blame someone is if they have done something wrong and just because someone phrased something a little ambiguously does not mean they did something wrong.
1 person likes this
