My father don't like my boyfriend.

@tianli (311)
China
September 1, 2008 1:42am CST
If your parents don't satisfy your boyfriend or girlfriend ,what will you do to persuade your parents? My father doesn't like my boyfriend, although he doesn't say it ,I konw him.Today I quarrel with my father ,he say all about his thoughts .I am so sad .I don't konw how to change my father's view.
4 people like this
9 responses
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
Greetings, well I know its hard for the both of you (your father and yourself) because this is happening. I'm wondering if you think your dad was being a bit too over protective, because chances are he is all fathers are like that to their daughters just like how mothers are over protective of their sons. Are you and your father close? Well as a guy I can give you this advice, make your guy win your father's trust. Let him try to visit your home if your father will permit it. And once he earns your father's trust make sure he gets too keep it I hope all turns out well.
1 person likes this
@tianli (311)
• China
7 Sep 08
Thank you very much ,I think everything is going well .Now, my BF and i are trying our best to get a trust from my father. I hope I have a good luck~~~~~~
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
Well as long as you stay in a straight line and be on your father's trusting side then everything will surely go right.
1 person likes this
@zhaosonghan (1039)
• China
7 Sep 08
You should keep your view,your parents don't know all of your boyfriend/girlfriend,you do what you want to do,the time will tell your father,your choice whether is right. Parents always think about all thing by their mind,they hope you can live well,get happness,you should know your parents. I just say my mind,take care,show your braveness.
@tianli (311)
• China
7 Sep 08
Yes , no parents don't want their child to live a happy life. Marriage is an important thing for everyone.I can understand my father's thoughts .I will tell him I am right when he accept my BF.
1 person likes this
@jde005 (65)
• United States
1 Sep 08
Although your father may not like your BF you should sit down with him and try to find out specific reasons. It could be that you're daddy's girl and hes not ready to see another man take over quite yet. Also maybe you should encourage your BF to try and develop a closer relationship with your father, prove himself to your father. Maybe your father feels hes not mature enough to take on the responsibility of being your BF.
1 person likes this
@tianli (311)
• China
1 Sep 08
To tell the truth, my father thinks my BF's educational backgroud is low,and I am a post- graduate student .But I believe my boyfriend will have a great future,he is very clever and handsome.I am not sure I can persuade my father like him.
1 person likes this
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
Well, you can always ask your boyfriend to prove himself to your father. My father was like that too. Eventually, he learned to like my boyfriend, who is now my husband. Partly, he didn't like him because I was his baby and he felt threatened that he would lose me. He now loves my husband like his own son. Of course it's a different story if you are still young. I had my boyfriend when I was 18 already and of age already. There must be a reason why he does not approve of your boyfriend. Know and find out why then do your own reflection first.
1 person likes this
@tianli (311)
• China
1 Sep 08
Thank your response.I think you are right .Yes, firstly I should find the reasons that why my father doesn't like him.But ,it is a little difficult to communicate with my father,beacuse he is a old-fogey .
1 person likes this
@mickalotz (179)
• South Korea
1 Sep 08
I am sure your father is faced with insecurity, if you are the only daughter, then that is very normal or if you are the eldest, that's very common, my very close friend's sister got married , but the father firstly didn't like her fiance'...but it takes time. your father's an old fogey, that's okay (I'd be very ashamed if my daughter called me that) with insecurity, they don't want to admit that it's life that the child will spend less time with the parent. Let it be, it's better having a boyfriend with good character than having a person who has the highest of qualifications and has no morals. I don't expect that the parents of the girl I like would like me, because that is like a complete shock at first site, but luckily I'm open, so it becomes easy for people to trust.
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Tell your father that you can't choose who to love? It's not the person who will chose who to love, i don't believe you can dictate your heart. It's the heart that chooses which person to love. The heart is always been crazy.. whatever its reason is we just don't know, I should say follow your heart and just persuade your father. Tell him, he once pass your stage, if he will be dictated, will he be happy? Sounds rude, yet I think the best possible way to open this thing up. I also have this situation before, so I'm saying base on experience. Might as well works for you.
@tianli (311)
• China
8 Sep 08
yes ,I agree with you, I can cheat everyone except my heart.Thanks for your encourgement, now ,my boyfriend is working hard to tell my father his attitude that he really loves me .All shall be well,and Jack shall have Jill. Best wishes to you ,my friend.
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Yeah, Jack can have Jill, but don't went up the hill.
• United States
8 Sep 08
I don't know if you can change your father's mind about your boyfriend.All you can do is tell him that your boyfriends treats you with respect and that you love him and he loves you. And you can tell him how you feel being put in the middle. You love him and your boyfriend. I don't know how stubborn your dad is or why he doesn't like your boyfriend but at least you can tell him how you feel and see what happens next.Good Luck.
@tianli (311)
• China
8 Sep 08
Thanks for your response ,my friend.By now ,the thing is going better ,my boyfriend is working hard and I am persuading my father to accepte this reality. i think I am luck , there will be a favourable turn very soon, giving your support to me ,I need your encouragement ,thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 08
I am so glad that everything is working out.
@klaudine (3651)
• Indonesia
7 Sep 08
There always be a reason why someone doesn't like someone else. There must be a reason of your father doesn't like your partner. If you have know what's the real reason, you could see the reality in your boyfriend. If you think that what your father said is not true, prove it to him. If you think it is right, you should come to the solution. You have to tell your boyfriend about this, telling him that there is another quality that your father seek for his daughter's boyfriend. And if he really loves you, he would do that for you. I had a similar problem like what you had now. My parents didn't like my GF because they thought my GF made me fail in my study. In fact, they were wrong. I had some trouble at school regarding my senior there, and in the same time I was with her. And they thought my GF is the reason I became troubled. I prove them wrong by showing them that I have improved my score at the school. I showed them that my GF is not the one who makes me lazy, but she's the one who supports me to be someone better. Even my GF is the one who makes me think about working after graduating and get my bachelor degree... She opened my view and gave me large networks. Seeing that, my parents start to think over again, and now, my parents has changed their mind. Now they can accept my GF :)
@tianli (311)
• China
7 Sep 08
We have the same trouble ,but I am glad to hear that your parents has changed their mind .now , my BF is working hard to prove his talents and abilities ,which are the most convincing to my father.I know there will be one day , my father will think his daughter's choice is right and accept him.
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3651)
• Indonesia
7 Sep 08
It is good to know that your boyfriend is willing to do the effort of convincing your parents. I mean, with that efforts, he's not only proving to your father that he has the ability and the goodwill, but also he proves his love to you. He would do anything to make your family willing to accept him and willing to do anything to make you proud of him. That would be a very good start. I hope and believe that someday your father can see that you have chosen the right one. :) Good luck with your parents and your partner, and have a nice day, tianli
@successlog (3172)
• China
7 Sep 08
hello friend, i am sorry to hear that.But i hope you can resolve this family problem soon.I think the focus is how to let your boyfriend to satisfy your father.maybe just find out what is your father's favor? if so, let your boyfriend send him some gifts or some things your father like to change his view.or I think your boyfriend should express his sincere to your father.to prove he indeed love you a lot. thus, i think it would be okay.lol good luck
@tianli (311)
• China
7 Sep 08
Thanks for your response , maybe some nice gifts can resolve this complex family problem. he he ~~~Luckily ,it is going better, now.