Is it ok to look at you partners/lover cellphone?
By alecz23
@alecz23 (486)
Philippines
September 2, 2008 11:37am CST
We all know that cellphone is greatest invention of man for communication and it keeps people closer than ever before?
But is it a tool for jealousy and cheating?
A lot of us encountered this situation and I want to know your opinion regarding limitation of personal things and issues of trust in a relationship with regards to the use of cellphone?
11 people like this
42 responses
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Not that I have anything to hide but I will freak out if I found out someone tried to look at my cellphone and what's in it without my knowledge. Therefore, I don't do that to other people, be it my boyfriend's, my mom's, sister's... you get the gist.
2 people like this
@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
Yes I get it but isn't this issue are very common and for me this must be totally agreed upon by both partners if whether or not they shouldn't look at his/her cellphone but it's really tempting to look especially they are trying to erase the sent items...(sorry a little peek wont hurt and I totally invade other privacy and it's my fault really) but sometimes even if I know she is just texting her friends I still get jealous of the attention that she give to texting rather than talking to me?
@know21 (1250)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Going through anybodies phone if you are married or not is unacceptable.
So it doesn't make it alright for a husband or a wife to do it just because they are married, even if they don't have anything to hide.
Just because a couple is married doesn't mean you should lose your privacy, and it's never all right to tell all to begin with. It just causes hurt and pain down the road.
There's a time and place for everything and snooping isn't healthy for any relationship.
2 people like this
@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Yes I do understand your point and I respect your opinion, but I think if your really married, you'll become as one as the bible says and I don't think there's anything wrong with looking to your partners cellphone but with his/her permission and consent and must be agreed by one another... I just want to know other opinion regarding this matter because I really want to know that rather have a suspicion I would say that looking to other cellphone is alright to me and I want even personal things are known by my partner because when your married personal things isn't personal to you anymore because you and your partner are considered as one..
@abhichin (159)
• India
2 Sep 08
No, i do not think that cellphones are a tool for breaking or making relationships. According to me , relationships are built with trust and that has nothing to do with cellphones. Cellphones are just a mean to communicate with the people we have relationship with..
1 person likes this
@reylyn2008 (19)
•
3 Sep 08
hmmmmm.. for me cellphone is the way of communicating..its a important used to us somehow can affect also the relationship just like relationship can make cheating to your someone...
@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
Well some people like me have had a relationship with just cellphone and a lot are experiencing breakups due to the use of cellphones. Sometimes the couple intentionally or not-intentionally look at their partners cellphone and got seperated. I know that the main purpose of it if your reading my post is its primary purpose but sometimes due to weakness it can be a tool for misunderstanding and jealousy and I'm asking if your reading the question abhichin, if you let your partner look at your cellphone...pls do read my post before answering....
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
2 Sep 08
I wouldn't look at anyone elses cellphone details unless they showed me something on the screen and I would object to anyone looking at mine. I'd also object to anyone reading my mail or listening in on my calls. I know there are people who will disagree strongly but, just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't give the other person total access to your life.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
2 Sep 08
Its not that I have stuff to hide... I just like to retain a bit of 'me'. Think of 2 different colours of plasticine... they're bright and cheerful as components of a whole but, once you squish them together the colours blend into a dull blob. (Maybe that sounds a bit odd but its just how I see it 
)
)@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
I will not disagree rather I respect your opinion ma'am, yes maybe you have a point and that also happen to me once in my past relationship, my partner doesn't want others or even me to look into her personal belongings.. and I totally respect her but I can't seem to understand if that's right because for me it's really o.k to let her see my personal stuff including my cellphone because I have nothing to hide but in others personal is personal and I don't wanna blame them..
Thanks for your comment and opinion and happy posting!!!!
1 person likes this
@megaman2000ph (343)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
It is not okay to peek your lovers cellphone because it is gap in privacy, my sister
is mad if her cellphone will take a peek, what if it is done to your lover she will mad at you. Sometimes if you have suspicious maybe you will take a peek of your lover cellphone if he/she is cheating, this will done if you two are husband and wife for so long. Many I see on the film where lovers are peeking to their cellphone.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I dont think its bad to look at your partners cellphone. if they dont have anything to hide they wont mind you looking. my fiance and i look at each others phones. its no big deal because we trust each other. we aren't snooping we mostly joke about it. if you feel like they are snooping you may have something to hide.
1 person likes this
@lauriehomebusiness (656)
• United States
3 Sep 08
I agree with you on that.
I let my hon see my phone. I did used to have something to hide but not anymore.
I have no reason to hide anyway.
My hon and I have been together for 13 years now and it's great.
we both have kids together and was wondering if you and your fiance are planning to have kids in the future.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
3 Sep 08
We have 2 daughters together already. 7 weeks old and 2 years old. he also has a 7 year old son from his ex wife.
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I see nothing wrong with looking at your spouses cell phone with their knowledge but I don't do it to my husband. I respect his privacy as he does mine. You have to have trust and you have to be trusted. If my husband wanted to look at mine I would have no problem with that at all. I am still pretty new at this cell phone thing myself and there are times when I do hand it over to him to delete numbers or to bring up left messages from wrong numbers or from missed calls from family members.
1 person likes this
@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Yes I totally agree with that, and same to me, my parents do love cellphones and they both not look to each others cellphone, but there's a suspicion going on and as a son I know there is and I can't help fix that because its their issues... but still I'm fortunate enough even though they have that limitation still they are together... but all I can say is still even though cellphones are the culprit or the subject of unfaithfulness or infidelity, still its up to the user and the lover's understanding, commitment, respect and especially trust to one another even though they may have a personal things but still cellphone is a gadget that must be used in good purpose...
Thanks for sharing your view and opinion ma'am and happy posting!!!!
@sapphirelilac88 (91)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
i think it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. if you have a good and open relationship and it is okay for both parties to read each others text messages then i guess it would be fine. however, regarding reading the text messages of your lover, i think both parties should be allowed to do it without question, otherwise if one party hides or does not want the other to read the text messages then it can trigger doubt or mistrust in the relationship that the other party is hiding something.
1 person likes this
@chechuva (1275)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
in my experience cellphones really made my bf go jealous.
i have lots of friends who are boys and they are sending me messages. im the kind of girl who is really friendly and the company type for my boy friends...
there was this time that my bf browse my cellphone while im at the kitchen. he read some messages of my friend asking me to meet him. i actually didn't told my bf that im meeting this guy friend. and there he was questioning me why im keeping it from him... im the kind of person that doesn't want to explain anything especially when it involves my friends.
1 person likes this
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
Well I think that if you have nothing to hide then you shouldn't be afraid of showing your cellphone to your partner. However there are times that this seems inappropriate because it shows that your partner also has little trust for you. I think that in a relationship in order to have trust there must be honesty too. 
1 person likes this
@wiseshopping1 (679)
• China
3 Sep 08
you can and eager to check your lover's cellphone to know about her.
i also want to do that, but i won't. the more deeper you know about a person, the more sad you will feel. after all, noby is perfect. plese try to keep yoruself happy and don't care too much about others.
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I do not think there are any good excuses for someone to be unfaithful to their partner, it's just cruel. I think that cheating is a hugely wronger thing to do than peeking at the phone, so if there are suspicions, and the cheater can be caught with their cell phone, it's okay. But it would be unsettling to find that your lover was looking at your cellphone when you were not cheating at all, because they would not be trusting, but maybe it would just be a sign that more communication is needed. I do not think that a partner should regularly check their lover's phone, it should only be if they have a reason to suspect something is going on.
@alecz23 (486)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
nice answer for such a young person, I must agree with your opinion and communication is indeed important but what if you caught your partner looking or checking your cellphone? would you confront your partner? or this will be a issue of trusting?
1 person likes this
@cjfoust (614)
• United States
3 Sep 08
I have been married for four years now and there's never been a day when I would deny my husband access to my cellphone. I feel that if someone does not want their partner/lover in their cellphone they must be hiding something. I have a very open relationship with my husband and although I would not appreciate him going through my phone without my knowing it, I wouldn't get but so mad because there's nothing in there I wouldn't want him to see. I believe a relationship has to be built on trust, with or without a cellphone.
1 person likes this
@monishavakil (1019)
• India
2 Sep 08
hmm tricky one, i am no one to really give any advise howerver i do think it is wrong if he does not check your phone. It is funny but you get so tempted to check his cell out.
well we come bck to the saying if you do not have faith in your man you should not be in the relationship, and if do trust him, then just remove it from your head.
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
2 Sep 08
If there is trust and honesty as well as comunication in the relationship, I do not see anything wrong with looking at the other's cell phone. Of course if there is a reason to hide something people tend to have a privacy issue when their partner looks at their cell phone. I answer and look for messages in my husband's cell phone, because sometimes he is not around when it rings, and most times he does not listen to his messages. He gets his work orders via text messages, and many times he does not check. So, being the responsible wife that I am, I will check them for him
1 person likes this
@trisha_nava82 (1379)
• United States
2 Sep 08
My husband and I continously look at each other's cell phone. I don't think that it is really a problem with having them look at it. Unless you have something to hide or there is something that you don't want them to see.
1 person likes this
@metalhalo (599)
• United States
2 Sep 08
The only reason someone would have issues about their loved one or partner looking at their phone is because they're hiding something. If they weren't hiding anything then what difference would it make? It's when it's turned into a big deal that suspicions are raised.
If we had cell phones I'd have no problem with my husband looking at mine or vise versa. We have a good level of trust with each other. I wouldn't just start searching his things because of nothing.
Usually when people start searching through things it's because they're going off of their gut instinct. I've found that 9 out of 10 times those instincts are usually correct. If you're curious about your partners daily activities, just simply ask them.
1 person likes this
@mhonna (40)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
My boyfriend and I have been always fighting before because I always see his cellphone. I always find something different, or something not right, but he keeps on denying. When I stopped seeing his cellphone, our fighting lessen but not my bad feelings. I don't know how to trust him anymore.
@Jul14nch0 (1414)
• Argentina
2 Sep 08
If you love her and she loves you i dont know why you need to look at her phone, arent you supposed to turst each other...? IF you dont then... leave her, that is not love and it not surely going to be a solid relationship.
1 person likes this
