"I am Bloody Pushing" and other birth stories
By p1kef1sh
@p1kef1sh (45681)
September 2, 2008 3:30pm CST
I'm lying here in my birthing pool. Fishwife is swimming beside me, encouraging me to let it all happen. "Push she coos. Let all those fishy eggs go". So here I am, a bead of sweat on my forehead. My tummy is tight and pulsing in an alarming way that it's never done before. Oh I can't wait to be rid of this load. But they are my babies. They've been snuggled up inside my cold belly for so long. Now it's time for them to be free. "Push" comes the soft voice. What does she think that I'm doing. "Push" she calls again. I've not been so desperate to push since that time with the dodgy ant egg curry. "Push" she whispers in my ear. "I am bloody pushing" I scream back. Then it happens. Like a small tidal wave my eggs tumble free floating into the water of the birthing pool. Tears of relief, joy and love stream down my fishy face until, at last, I'm spent. "How many" I croak. "385,752" come the reply. I watch as she sprays them with the milt specially gleaned from the most intelligent and virile Alpha P1ke that we could find. I lay back and rest for a couple of days and then magically they start to appear. All my little p1kelets. Thousands of them. Tell Grandma Goodie they're here. Has anyone got a buggy that they don't need anymore?!! Hope that we can remember all the names. "That one looks just like you. That one too..... and that one, look that one as well" says Fishwife. "Must be the teeth says I". Come and look please. Visiting hours are anytime.
7 people like this
15 responses
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
2 Sep 08
As I'm reading this I kinda felt like I was at first listening to something xrated..lol.
Well isn't that the cutest bunch of pikettes..wait this one over here looks like me..hmmmm????
Almost finished with the quilt have to get it off the football field first...
huggs Auntie
2 people like this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
2 Sep 08
Whats This? Talking about hunger..just hope we don't have to burp him..lol..
Poor Grandbabies..I'm sure you will have more soon!
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Well, Congrats! The ballons should be arriving shortly in Congratulations. Well, it is finally over now all th fun stuff starts..385,752 babies to take care of day and night, There won't be any rest for you now till they reach an age they are old enough to go at it alone. I am sure you and Fishwife will raise them right and enjoy them..well give them all hugs from Aunty Becky..lol
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Aww, Thanks, Never had anyone or thing named after me before, so I am honored..Now have you chosen godparents for these youngsters yet? In case of your demise? Not that I want that to ever happen..just they might get hungry and impatient and eat you..you will have to walk softly but carry a big stick..lol And be careful not to let them get scooped up for bait. Well, I am going to be sending you a congrats balloon in your profile page..
@mummymo (23706)
•
3 Sep 08
At last they arrive! Methinks Grandma Goodie already knows of their arrival and is already thinking of which chores will be assigned to which baby pike! That one there really does look like you - it is even wearing a bra, poor thing, and why is that one pierced THERE? Well done p1ke my darling - if only it were so easy for we women to have one let alone 385,752! lol xxx
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
3 Sep 08
LMAO! Your nutty. We aren't talking about fish food babies right?
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Great word P1key...It is pretty hard to get out of that little hole. I'm getting an aquarium soon and you are all I can think about. LOL
@ruby222 (4847)
•
5 Sep 08
Fascinating..and will you get family allowance for all of the little Pikelets?if so lol you will be a wealthy man.I had a twin pushchair,but im none too sure that it would take all 385,752 little pike babes,the rivets had a nasty habit of shearing when it had the twins in it.The birth of the twins was amazing,but I will leave the mass birthing to you my dear,I just havent got the energy !
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
5 Sep 08
Now there's a thought Ruby. Is there an upper limit? The birthing was quite straightforward and Goodie has taken several thousand babies back to Australia. We're all well although a little tired. I'm sure that having twins is completely wonderful. I can't really imagine it. Clare was a C section, but that was amazing enough.
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4847)
•
5 Sep 08
A twin birth was wonderful yes,LOLOL first the waters broke way before the birth,therefore no lubricant.The twins were born seven weeks premature,so off to the theatre for me,all the garbed up medics etc,then the question was asked..Can some students watch the birth?..yes said I ..in fact the whole of Great britain could have watched by that stage.Out came numero uno,she was beautiful,cherubic,rosebud mouth,a complete picture of perfection.Then she was followed immediately by number two baby,who had been sat on by number one babay,she was fine after she had been ironed out lol..needless to say yes they are both gorgeous.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
5 Sep 08
When the Boss's waters burst I went straight into panic mode. However, this was not to be permitted. I was handed a bowl of cornflakes to eat "because you don't know when you might eat again" and told to fetch the case packed specially for the occasion. We then tripped lightly to the hospital where we had to wait another 36 hours before the obstretician, no doubt anxious for a feed himself, slipped out his penknife and got things under way. Good job they had an iron at your hospital. Tactfully they sent me to phone relatives. No mobiles in those days so I was sent to a payphone in a side ward. Only afterwards did I discover that this ward was full of ladies who had had still births!! Bless the NHS. These poor folk had to listen to me breaking the joyous news, whilst there own were in the hospital mortuary. Our next three offspring didn't make it as far as that.
@property (453)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Wow... that's a lot of little ones! i wouldn't want to be responsible for all that "school" shopping. Get some rest, nap when the little nippers nap, and don't forget to take care of yourself... you'll be no good to the tiny dears if you let yourself get run down. How will you find the time to mylot? Let me know if you need anything... i've got an old baby monitor around here somewhere...
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
3 Sep 08
It's been a long hard job Property. Single Mom, absent father. Sprays his stuff and buggers off. You know the story. Still, they're all here, happy smiling faces. Ooh, there's a lot of them though. SCHOOL!!! No one said anything about school!! All those school uniforms (we're like that here), pencils, books, goodness knows how many buses we'll need. Maybe they'll all swim away before then.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Sep 08
Well Congratulations and I will try my best to get there but it will still take a few Days as I have told my Son he can keep my Car till the end of the Month
But Gissi and I will start walking now ok so keep them safe
As for a Push chair sorry Sweetheart I can't help you there got rid of mine 19 years ago but I hope that someone has one for you
Hugs to you
. It reminds me a little of the beginning of Finding Nemo...where their naming their baby fishes. Thanks for the laugh 
.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Sep 08
hhi pikey wow all those fishey babies, 385,752 glad you are
recuperating lol. Must be a terrific job naming all of
them. hope you feel much better now you are the proud
parent of all the little pikelets.
@SydneyHazelton (4586)
• Singapore
3 Sep 08
Congratulations! They are finally here. So have named them all?
@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
3 Sep 08
lol....
cute story!!!
love it...
so what are you going to do with the fishes?
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
2 Sep 08
Hi plkeflsh,
Goodie, Goodie, they have come, they have come, oh, wheres little Star? many congrts! well done plke, now you can rest after all that pushing you will need a nice cup of tea and mama plke can wipe your forehead for you and look after the little plkelets. Your friend.
Tamara
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
2 Sep 08
Thank you Tamara. I didn't need my lucky knickers for this one. LOL. Goodie has been to see them and satisfied herself that I've not eaten any - I think. LOL. There's Star. The one that looks like....or is it that one?.......No, it's that one......... Oh dear.....
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
3 Sep 08
Hi plkeflsh,
Please make sure you don't eat my little Star and look after him or her for me and al the rest of the plkelets.
Your friend.
Tamara
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Oh Pikey, I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner! I just
got the word! Grandma Goodie and Auntie Rosekitty forgot
to call Auntie Opalkitty! How am I supposed to fishysit
tonight if nobody tells me? I'm ready now and I'll be right
over to take care of the night feeding, don't worry!
I know how tired you must be. I guess Grandma Goodie is
sleeping now so I'll just stay with the babies until she
gets up and comes over. I hope I can handle them! That's
an awful lot of fishy babies to feed and change for one
Auntie Opalkitty! I'm going to a busy Auntie tonight!
Good thing I'm ready! Ok Pikey, I'm on my way!
@lanlan011 (701)
• United States
3 Sep 08
wow that is cool and funny. "That one looks just like you. That one too....and that one, look tht one as well" "must be th teeth" lol that is so funny.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
2 Sep 08
Oh P1key ... they are absolutely beautiful! You've done so well, and should now be allowed to enjoy waterproof battenburg cake whilst proudly watching over your precious brood. And they ALL look like you ... and will all be able to ride bicycles when they grow up!
