This site is a front for a criminal gang

@p1kef1sh (45696)
September 4, 2008 6:10am CST
I know... Horrific isn't it! Here we all are busy posting discussions and making our responses to others and all along there has been a terrible criminal underworld right here under our very noses!! You may remember that yesterday I posted a discussion about biscuits, or cookies if you prefer. In the responses to that discussion several people admitted that they had all done the heinous act of theft!! All these people are regular myLotters and the awful, terrible truth has dawned on me that I have been the victim of not a causal sneak thief, but an orchestrated attempt to relieve us of our biscuits. I urge you to check your cupboards and drawers. Your biscuit tins and boxes. Are YOUR biscuits safe? Now as a final plea to any criminally minded folk out there. Are YOU a member of the myLot biscuit pinching gang? There is a general amnesty if you admit and repent now.
30 people like this
69 responses
@Munchkin547 (2778)
4 Sep 08
Are you sure you're not just trying to find excuses so you don't have to admit that you ate them all yourself?!? lol I have never stolen a biscuit! the only thing i have ever stolen is a packet of chewing gum, i was going through a self service checkout and had it in my hand and forgot to scan it! I felt really guilty when i got outside and realised but thought they would think i was a loon if i went back inside and said i'd just taken it by accident!! hehe xxx
4 people like this
@owlwings (42937)
• Cambridge, England
4 Sep 08
Just to make you feel better, Munchkin (now, that name, in itself suggests that you are not averse to the occasional biscuit or cookie!) here is a picture of a loon ... a rather pretty bird, you have to agree!
4 people like this
@owlwings (42937)
• Cambridge, England
4 Sep 08
Where did my picture go?
4 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Find excuses Munchkin. I think not. LOL. The Preston chewing gum nicker eh? I once stole a packet of butterscotch but got caught by the shop owner! My one and only foray into the World of crime. LOL.
4 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11549)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I suppose my biscuits are safe but I feel like I have no idea what your talking about biscuit pinching. LOL!!!. I have not read the discussion of yesterday so now I'm finding I must read that before I can now if I'm a biscuit pincher lol.
4 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
I shall leave you to go and read Bella. It's a serious business!!
5 people like this
@Rosekitty (19387)
• San Marcos, Texas
4 Sep 08
P1ke..don't listen to this..its an excuse to not admitting to be another Gang member like me..hahahahahaha
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
I shall have you all soon. Never fear!!
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Sep 08
Biscuit thieves my Aunt Fanny! They are all agent provocateurs working for that nasty German biscuit knock off company. Names! I demand names! To the Gulag with them all I say! Now pass the bikkies, I'm hungry..............!
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Such impatience. You'll get indigestion Sparky. That'll put you in a mood and then you'll be out lynching every lookee like biscuit thief in town!! But just take a peek at my earlier discussion about biscuit thieving. They're all there.
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
4 Sep 08
(he flashes a badge.....) Agent Grandpa Bob here. May I see you shelves please? There are tainted biscuits going around. Ah hah! There's some now. I'll take these to my lab to be tested. Thanks you very much. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Sep 08
LOL- was on that discussion and did NOT admit to taking any biscuits. But if you would return the bicarbonate of soda I asked for, my indigestion would be much relieved!
2 people like this
@Anne18 (11034)
4 Sep 08
Have just checked the biscuit tin and the cupboards. My biscuits are al safe and accounted for. Thanks for the inside info.
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Just thought that you should know. I'm pleased to hear that all biscuits are present and correct.
3 people like this
• United States
4 Sep 08
I think you will just make up any old story to take the attention away from the fact that YOU ate that whole pack of cookies/biscuits. That is what I think. *nodding my head*
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
[Looking at his feet] Maybe.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Sep 08
You know what's coming next, don't you? *low, throaty chuckle*
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
I knew it and I heard it. Now I'm wringing my hands and shaking my head because I don't even want to think of what might happen!!!
1 person likes this
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
4 Sep 08
IT WASN'T ME ! I SWEARZ IT. I NEVER TOUCHED YOUR BISCUITS OR ANYTHING ELSE ! I HARDLY KNOW YOU............. now, what did we learn from this pike? order 2 tins? or 3 tins? or learn to ration our biscuits? one per hour? one after 10 posts? one after a good deed?
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Yeah and I'm the Queen of England. I know you coming in here pretending that you not a biscuit snatcher!! LOL. Right now I have now. The Boss has just rung as she's going to the store and wants to know what we haven't got!! Lobster, Venison, Quail eggs in jelly, oh and biscuits! LOL. If I have to wait until I've done a good deed I'll be waiting all year before I eat another biscuit. I keep being told how naughty I am!!
3 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
That second "now" should be a "none"!
3 people like this
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
4 Sep 08
haha. maybe your boss loves you enough to bring you 2 tins. ah, but we wouldn't want them to go stale before they were all eaten would we? look at my avatar. do i look like a biscuit thief? LOL ROARING!
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19387)
• San Marcos, Texas
4 Sep 08
P1ke..yes i admit it and I don't care so there..you can tie me up, wrap cords around me..tickle me.. and I will do it again..too many scrumptous items just for the taking and you want me to stop..nope nope nope..and before you know it I'll be back! hahahahahahahahahahaha
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Right young lady. This calls for drastic measures. Bring me a feather duster. There's going to be some serious tickling going on!!
2 people like this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Ummmm. These crumbs on my computer desk are not from your biscuits/cookies. No. Um, they're from....um....cat treats. Yeah, that's it. Cat treats. The cats love sitting on my computer desk as I work. They made the crumbs. Honest.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
You confessed earlier. I know that you are the mastermind behind the whole operation. Blaming poor innocent cats. I suppose that they left those crumbs down your front too. Hah! But I forgive you. You can go and help Faerie baking brownies for her husband. That seems a fair punishment. He loves brownies. So do I come to think of it. LOL!!
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 08
Sure. I can make brownies. Cats can't eat those.
• United Kingdom
4 Sep 08
Oh, how I just love biscuits! I like chocolate biscuits the most, bourbon creams, custard creams, rich tea and all other kinds! I can assure you though, I have not been in your biscuit tin as tempting as this probably is! Hang on a moment though! I have just remembered something. I used to patrol the floors of an office building at night, yes I was a security officer! As I was carrying out these patrols I would walk slowly amongst the five floors and, on the different desks there would be big tins, small tins, round tins and square tins, and they all contained biscuits! So yes, ok I freely admit it, I was a muncher! I only had one or two from each tin so that they would not notice!! Well, no one ever said anthing if they did notice. So don't say 'oh look everyone! We have a found a biscuit snatcher!' I still think that Gremlins exist though, you know, those small, horrible, ugly critters! Well, perhaps it's them and they only come out at night!! Andrew
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
You know several years back I used to work in an office block in London. I'd leave my biscuit tin on my desk and........... I am writing a story about Bourbon biscuits at the moment funnily enough. You wouldn't think that there was the content would you. But there is. LOL. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because you came creme, I mean clean!
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
4 Sep 08
Good on you! Excellent response, great topic. Andrew
@monkeysay (228)
• Singapore
4 Sep 08
Hmmm....thanks for the reminder! I will lock my windows and doors now with a latch and a double-lock. Biscuits are our lifeline! I will protect it with all costs. There are no biscuit tins under my bed. There are no biscuit tins under my bed. There are no biscuit tins under my bed. There are no biscuit tins under my bed. There are no biscuit tins under my bed. OK??? Please admit if you have stolen biscuits, and please get away from the biscuit mafia before it's too late. :D:D:D
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
Just take it easy out there. They can smell a loose biscuit 10 miles away. They're cunning little devils too. LOL.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Sep 08
yes you c an follow them by their trail of crumbs lol
@mira666 (165)
4 Sep 08
I know my biscuits are safe as they are on a plate in front of me now, the only way they are being stolen is if I eat one, yummy
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
But if you eat one then that's not theft. You are only eating what you own!! They go very quickly don't they.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84201)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Sep 08
I pinched a biscuit and it crumbled. But nobody has stolen any of my cookies. I wonder what Henry Higgins would say about this!
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
"Why can't a woman be more like a man" perhaps? or more likely "You did it"!!
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
4 Sep 08
hmmm....I didn't see that previous post p1, anyway, everything is safe here, I didn't touch my biscuits since I don't like the taste! It's my hubby who pick it from the store..I am having tea right now! LOL!
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
I'm pleased to hear it. Watch those biscuits. We don't want hubby to go without!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Sep 08
Okay, okay. I admit it, I repent. Am I granted amnesty? I sneak cookies and brownies when no one's looking, and have even taken the last one and blamed it on the dog. I'm so ashamed! I have dropped cookies to the bottom of my milk glass to hide the evidence if someone walked in on me sneaking. I have hidden empty wrappers in the back of the pantry until garbage pickup day. I have pretended the smell of brownies baking was merely a "new candle scent I'm trying out". But I have also sneaked the last of the cookies or brownies and smuggled them to my son's bedroom for a midnight "tea party" with him. I've given him brownies instead of breakfast, just to be sure he got some of them before my husband arrived with my stepson (they will clean out an entire pan of fresh brownies in a single evening, plsses me off beyond belief). I've baked cookies and brownies especially for him, and even for my husband. And those are the ones I don't sneak from. So lock me in stocks and chains if you must! Just please don't put me on the rack and thumb-screws! Perhaps water torture...?
• United States
4 Sep 08
Water doesn't go well with cookies and brownies, after all...
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
You are sentenced to one night's brownie baking. These are to be delivered to your husband and stepson. You must watch whilst they eat them all. Then offer to bake them some more!! Take her away. LOL.
• United States
4 Sep 08
Ah, at least it's not "off with her head!" I might even bake the jailer some brownies, but only if he asks politely and offers a treat in return! LOL! Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that my brownies are NOT from a prepackaged mix. I measure my own flour and cocoa and everything, straight from the recipe in my mom's old cookbook! (Yes, the one my sister and I are arguing over, and Mom hasn't even kicked the bucket yet. She's only 42, so I hope we still get to argue over the cookbook for a few more decades, at least!) So there, you mean ol' jailer, you! Are you certain the brownies are for my husband and stepson, now? LOL!
@dark4eyes (161)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Sorry, Pike, I din't eated your cookies but I will send Spam Stir Fry if you'll send me a few of the next batch Have a great weekend
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
Sounds like a trade. Although hold the Spam please. I have some very dark memories of Spam!
• United States
5 Sep 08
I'm an Air Force brat - I ate a LOT of Spam growing up. My mom used to make Spam Stir Fry and it was really good.
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
I pushed a lot of Spam about my plate growing up. Spam sandwiches, fritters, and beans, with pasta - you name it I avoided it! LOL.
@liquorice (3901)
5 Sep 08
Shortbread - Shortbread.
Well, the master criminals are obviously avoiding our house; our biscuits are all safe and sound (even the packet of shortbread in the fridge - but shh! don't tell anyone; I don't want to risk getting the biscuit thieves' attention...dum de dum..) Maybe our biscuits just aren't good enough, or maybe they just don't operate around these parts... And before anyone jumps to some foolish and quite frankly wrong conclusions, I strongly deny (and wholeheartedly resent) any accusation that the scottish shortbread in my fridge might be the same packet that went missing from your house yesterday. Might have to eat the evidence. (Hmm, I mean shortbread..)
• New Zealand
5 Sep 08
Hey Mate...with a username such as Liquorice... Boy are you in trouble! hahahahaha Wanna share that shortbread? please ...pweeze! hmmm hmmm? Hehehe MrL®
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
Well I'm pleased to hear that all is safe and sound. But I may have to come round and examine the "evidence" in your fridge. Forensic work is not as straightforward as people think. LOL. I would strongly advise you not to eat before I have had a chance to eliminate it..................................from our enquiries.
@liquorice (3901)
5 Sep 08
Hey, there's nothing wrong with my name! Liquorice is a fine name to have, lol! Hmm, does it implicate me in some way? Um, am I in trouble?! I didn't do it, I have an alibi... she's two, but she can talk... I could try and email you some shortbread. If I post it all the way to NZ it might not be in too good shape by the time it gets there.
5 Sep 08
You will never be able to track down those bicuits gangs!! They are all over the internet world and will always be hiding in cupboards searching for biscuits!! I will admit that I am closely into the gang, not actually a bicuit pincher but Im close to them!! I am always two steps ahead!! WE love biscuits with cups of tea!!!!
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
Well I've got the biscuits if you've got the tea Cinders! Kettle will be on in half an hour.
5 Sep 08
Half an hour!! Half an hour!! You expect me to wait half an hour!! Im on my way with some tea!!! get everything ready!!!
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
That was an hour ago. Where are you?!
5 Sep 08
this is why i love mylot, absolutely mad, but also making sense. instead of "who ate all the pies ??" its "who nicked all the bikkies!" i much prefer this type of discussion to what it has been like over the last few weeks1! good on yer p1kef1sh :-)
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
Thank you. I share your view, hence this little outbreak of madness. Normal service will be resumed sometime, probably, maybe, oh, I dunno!
5 Sep 08
life is too short to be serious, all of the time. besides, i am interested in these pesky bikkie nickers. hope this is read in the right context as in nickers not kn******. :-0
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
You were right first time. I do have a discussion about lucky knickers though. I try to capture all aspects of the less than serious side of life. LOL.
• India
5 Sep 08
I did not do anything criminal. So I dont need any amnesty. And I dont need to repent. First things first. Dont steal or engage in a illegal acticity. There are millions of legal way to earn a decent living. IF you have the will, you will get whatever you desire.
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
I don't think that you have quite understood the discussion but what you say is quite true. Welcome to myLot.
• India
5 Sep 08
I'm a newbie here. It will be a while before i get used to what is happening here.
@p1kef1sh (45696)
5 Sep 08
Worry not. The discussion is a follow on from another one and is a joke discussion. Nothing in it is true or serious. Enjoy myLot. Not everyone is quite as crazy as me!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I repent, sir!! I throw myself upon your mercy!! Yes, yes, dammit, I admit it!! I'm a biscuit thief. I'm a cookie thief too. And if there's ice cream about, I'll pinch it in a New York minute. My fingers are so sticky, I have an accidental mohawk hairdo. I've got cat hair stuck all over my hands. I look like a werewolf!! Now may I have my amnesty please? And can I have some chocolate sauce with it, pretty please? With sugar on top? And sprinkles? And maybe some chopped pecans? Whipped cream would be nice, as long as we're here.......
@p1kef1sh (45696)
4 Sep 08
You know that I can deny you nothing Nova. Not a sprinkle, a chopped nut, fudge sauce not nuthin'! I shall have to see you in person though at 8.30 your time to make sure that you have got rid of all the incriminating evidence though. Or there'll be trouble!!
• United States
4 Sep 08
Yes sir!!! I'll be there, standing at attention, waiting patiently for my chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Please have the paddle at the ready. Woohoo! Come on 8:30!!!!
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
5 Sep 08
Standing to attention Nova sweety? I rather thought that would have been p1ke! xxxx