People just dont give a CRAP!!!!
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
October 1, 2008 6:06am CST
I have had it! THe more I do or try the worse things get. At work, I tend to do a good job. I like the idea of knowing that when the next shift comes on I have stocked everything and cleaned to make it easier for them. YOu think they do it for me? Hell no! At home, I come in from work and what do I see? Dishes in the sink, the beds not made and everyones hungry. I am at my wits end. When I try to say something I get the same response everytime. I am complaining and If I didnt work so much. I am working so that we have a place to live and good food to eat. WHo would buy those sneakers and pay for the internet. Come to think of it, If I had no internet maybe she would clean her room. I would end up suffering because I love to be on myLot when I am home. Its not just the kids. Its the man too. He thinks that god put me here to take care of him and his every need. Maybe this is my fault. I dont like people to do things that I usually do. Taking care of my family is a job that I love. I am working two jobs now. I am beginning to feel that most people just expect things. NO ONE gives anymore. WHen did this happen? Maybe it was always like this and I didnt notice. People dont give a crap anymore! They are always passing the buck. How bout you? dl
4 people like this
17 responses
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
3 Oct 08
I am really sorry you have to go through this, and I don't know what to say. Why not take a long break from it all? Looks like you are stressed and in need of a vacation. Why work at two jobs? Why not resign from one? Handling two jobs can be quite stressful. Having a quite chat with hubby and kids might also help. Try it out.
Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@mytwo_daughters (2663)
• United States
2 Oct 08
you are not alone! I have laundry and the house, plus I have businesses I maintain online. I am expected to clean and make sure the girls do their homework and learn, plus do their religious homework. Lots of fun.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
1 Oct 08
yep people take for granted what they always had. Cut back on allowances and clothes and stuff like that if your daughter doesn't do what she is supposed to. Don't let her get the upper hand.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
4 Oct 08
you're preaching to the choir.i sure know this one.
nothing i love more than busting my butt at work after it being rid by the boss all day than to come home and find a stinkin' full garbage,and every dish i did the day before miraculously in the sink again with nobody knowing nothing.
except maybe them disregarding the leftovers and canned food and them breaking open food i had reserved for another meal.but again,nobody did that either.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I think you need to make out a schedule for getting help around the house. I raised three kids by myself and we worked as a team.....sure there was some grumbling when they had to do their chores but when they realized it actually gave them more free time when I wasn't nagging at them that they did what they needed to do....it's funny though. My oldest did most of the cleaning...her house is spotless most of the time but her husband does all the cooking. My youngest daughter did most of the cooking and baking and she is such a wonderful cook...her husband cleans the house....my son did both....he is married and he does most of the cooking and cleaning! LOL......they took it serious and they do what they do well!
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
1 Oct 08
I think you need to sit down with your family and make them try and understand that you are doing two jobs and need help around the house. Your husband should show consideration so that the children in the house be of good assistance. Now with regard at your workplace. Stop doing the things that the others are not doing. If they leave their work station untidy then do the same thing too. Remember that you are not a Mother Hen at the work place. People are not lovable anymore and you have to understand that.
Whenever you go to your work station you clean it up. If you are to sweep then do it but don't over worked yourself. Remember that you have a family and they should remember that they will only have one life time with a mother/wife.
Take care.
Kerry
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I think people are just so busy anymore, they forget to use some courteous gestures. They have so much going on, they just don't have their minds where it should be.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
1 Oct 08
even wehn my kids were at home I did most of every thing but they were to clean up thier rooms and help with other house hold chores.
TEhn here now we have some that work and some that not working now and meand daughter have keep nagging to get certain things done!
Took me jabbing my foot and bleeding froma stick that had laid in the yard I dont know how long for the men here to get them all picked up also the leaves and mow the yard. that needed to be done a couple of weeks ago!
Not good for me to bleed as it is hard to stop!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Amen to that. I used to deal with that all of the time too in the workplace and at home too. I now work at home so I can try to keep up with things around here too. I also have my husband and my daughter do their fair share also. I am not the only one who lives here and I do not make messes for someone else to clean up.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
1 Oct 08
oh wow ,it,s time for a family meeting to let them no what,s up. don,t try to do it all they have to help you tell them you can,t do it all trying to work two jobs than coming home to a third job lay down some ground rules have your husband to reinforce these rules it must be down are start giving out punishment take your house back and run it with you are there are not good-luck have a blessed day
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
1 Oct 08
[i]Hi dloveli,
I can relate this when I was single and used to love with friends in one apartment...I was totally hard and very irritating!
ANyway, in your case, it's just a matter of assigning task to everyone in the house and I know even kids will learn to do their role once being given and assign to them clearly!
You need to sit down and then start talking about dividing task from simple to more big rol[/i]es!
@cassandralynn (1084)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Does your man work? That would be terrible if you were the only one working two jobs to take care of a bunch of people who can't even make their own bed or help keep the house clean. Perhaps you should lay down the law, for example if your kids want those NEW cool shoes they need to do household chores like the dishes and make the beds daily to earn these cool things they want and if they don't do there chores they can get there not so cool shoes USED at a thrift store for a few bucks. I don't know how you do it, but it sounds like something needs to change. It's not fair to you at all!
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
2 Oct 08
I know how you feel and if you keep it up you will wear yourself out. You need to decide which job you really want to do. If you prefer to look after your family then cut back on your working hours. If you want to keep your job than get your family to help at home.
But you need to talk to them. If you want to make your family help out and they are not listening to you then you could make an ultimatum that it just cannot keep happening. Go on strike at home. It is possible. Just say I am too tired and its time somebody else helped. With the daughter, if she is old enough to do her own washing, tell her to help and that you won't be her slave any more.
Whatever you do you need to look after yourself. I know the feeling that you have. You are a giver and you have been giving for too long and getting nothing back and now you have drained your reservoir. You need to refill it or you will get sick. I went through that once, giving and getting nothing back or less back than I gave and it got me to the point where there was nothing left to give and it was disastrous for me. Find a way to refill your reservoir. Do something for you.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Oct 08
dloveli one tends to spoilones family then blame them for
the fact that you spoiled them. yell for some help, husband
and kids can help a working mom if they are prodded a bit, and
its only fair, you work hard, and deserve some help from'
the rest of the family. so tell your family from now on we all
share the duties not just mom, but all of us. I got so I would ask for help from my husband and he learned to really care, and hewould do anything but the dishes. that He would not do, but in exchange for help with the kids and housework, I didnt mind doing
'the dishes. He seemed to really enjoy it too. so ask for help and let them do it their way, it is still help. good luck.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
1 Oct 08
Oh this is sad for you, but you know maybe I am feeling a little down tonight but I sort of wish I had your problem, I have no family now and I guess I would have once felt like you but now just thinking about how I would love to have that problem, I guess the grass is always greener...I am sure they appreciate you d....
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
1 Oct 08
Hi Dl...
I can sense that you're really frustrated right now. I guess it's time to have a talk with your family especially since you're working already. It's okay to do things for others but you have to also teach your kids the value of being responsible. Sometimes, people become complacent because they know someone will always pick up after their mess.
Someone once told me that we should "not give fish to people but we have to teach them how to fish."
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
1 Oct 08
Poor you - it sounds as if you've had one of those really crappy days where you don't feel appreciated and everything's gone wrong. We have our 21yo son living at home still, and often I feel the same. Even though I do everything for him, he still accuses me of 'looking at him funny' and 'standing too close' and other strange things. Sometimes I wonder why I bother! If he had to do his own washing, cleaning and cooking he might appreciate it more. I'm lucky that I'm at home all day, so it must be really hard for you to work two jobs and still have to do everything at home. You might have to sit everyone down for a bit of a talk!
