Need help with dispute please!

@ladyljs (1303)
United States
October 2, 2008 6:25am CST
My son came home from school today, citing that he was pushed down by his "friend", after further questioning, he also said that he was pulling "fake punches" over the last 2 weeks and although being playful, hit him one time. My son has asked him not to act this way...that they are both in Karate, and that any act of aggression such as this is forbidden. Come to find out, my little boy has been standing up for this young man in the midst of bullies...and now this little boy has asked my son to back away, citing that he could handle himself....but he wants him to stick around to be a witness though...WhAT?? My son added that this child makes comments such as "what are you going to do about it: when confronted. I decided to call the childs' guardian, his grandmother, who we see twice a week at karate practice. I told him that her grandchild was exhibiting this behavior, and I was afraid that something bad would happen if it continued. I added that he had been pushed down and been experiencing the "fake punches". THIS WOMAN immediately began to defend this young man and then started to turn the tables on me saying that last year my boy called his boy a nerd. I set her straight there...both of the boys wear glasses and they are both called nerds. Apparently the grandchild is telling pity stories to his grandmother, who dotes on him so much it is sickening. THE CHILD CAN DO NO WRONG!!!! To add insult to injury, she said that my little boy wrote DORK under his signature in her grandchilds yearbook. MY BOY BECAME ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS stating that he never did that, and that he would put his hand on a bible and hoped to die. I got off of the phone to get the whole story, and then my son called her back up to reiterate what he told me. She litterally had my little boy in tears...he told her that he did not write that and didn't even know what it meant. She said "it is in your handwriting". My little boy was so distraught that he had an asthma attack speaking to her...he excused himself and hung up. I called her back after my little guy got to feeling better, and she insists that Kurt wrote this. I said, "why would he sign his name and then write DORk underneath it...it would say that he (my boy) was the DORK. She reiterated, it is in his handwriting...HOW CAN YOU DETERMINE HANDWRITING BY 4 PRINTED LETTERS?!?!?! My little girl and little boy both wrote the word and they looked identical. I told her that...she won't back down. I truly believe that the grandchild wrote this under Kurts signature in an effort to get pity from his grandmother, but I can't prove it. NOw, today, the 4 of us, Grandma and grandson, Me and my son are going to meet to get this settled. These 2 boys have karate together and we need to get this out of the way or practices will be a living hell for everyone involved. I Am totally worried about this meeting, the Grandmother is not going to back down and neither am I...what can I say to help put this behind us? How would you handle this whole situation? PLEASE HELP!!!!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
6 Oct 08
oh dear that is so sad :( your poor sweet boy. With the behaviour the other child is exhibiting, he really does not belong in karate, it sounds like he is wanting to cause trouble in order to "show off" his karate skills.... fantasizing the lauding of the crowd. Your son may want to speak with the guidance councilor or other authority at the school to give them a heads up of possible trouble to come. I find the grandmother's defensive demeanor disturbing as well. I do not know what the solution is - but for certain I would try to curb further friendship with the family. You can not be friends with those you can not trust. Kurt can be gracious but distant to the kid... I worry that your son will end up taking the trouble if something does happen at school, given this child's history of fabricating stories and your son being the scapegoat unawares.
1 person likes this
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
6 Oct 08
Well, we had the meeting...and it went as I supposed. I was able to contain my temper, though I must admit it took some lip biting. We ended agreeing to disagree. THe spite in that womans' eyes is really disturbing. I have since told my little guy to steer clear of this trouble maker and to alert the authorities of things get the slightest sticky. These two boys continue to take karate together, so now there is the "competition" to do better than the other...where does this end?!?!? We'll get through it...one way or another! Thanks for your response, and have a great day friend!
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Since the boys are both in Karate together I would see if you can have the "talk" in front of the karate instructor. I believe that when kids are learning karate they have strict rules on behavior even while not in class. Specially this kind of behavior, the fake punches stuff like that. I think the boys might get their act together if they know their teacher is going to find out how they are acting. As for the other stuff, I think its best to try to stay out of it. Its kid stuff and when you get the adults involved sometimes there is caos, like what is happening. Kids are kids, they are going to be kids. The problem is sometimes when parents and grandparents always think its not their kid doing anything. I have dealt with boys and their friends. Usually things like this will blow over. But when it comes to any kind of violence, fighting, bullying stuff like that you have to step in. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Just think when they grow up and have kids, you get to be a grandparent. Thats the best job in the world. That is if you are not the one raising the children, then you have it really tough. Good luck with you meeting. Do your best to keep your cool.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I am not really sure how to handle this. I know this must be a tough thing for you to deal with. I am so confused how to handle some things anymore these days. I wish the best for you though.