An A.A. friend seriously injured recently

@webeishere (36351)
United States
October 2, 2008 2:54pm CST
I am an alcoholic/addict. I have been clean and sober over 17 years by the Grace of God. I am also a member of my local A.A. club. I have many friends there but with caregiving my dad, I seldom make it there. I got a call yesterday from a friend in A.A. Seems a 40 year old friend of mine was burning an old barn building in a pit as it was destroyed in a storm. He was using his Bobcat front end loader to move the lumber etc to the bonfire. Seems he got a little too close and the hydraulics caught fire on the Bobcat. As it burned he couild not free himself due to fear and heat etc. His wife and daughter were shocked and also could not help due to the heat. He ended up losing his eyesight, both arms, one leg, and his privates. This basicall puts him on deaths bed in his mind etc. He doesn't feel like a man anymore, and he can't hold his wife etc. These are his thoughts right now though not mine. I called and talked to his wife and he refuses to talk to friends etc at this time. I only pray that he comes through this with the will to keep on living. Please pray for this family. Thanks all. Have you ever had a friend become paralyzed, or lose limbs? How did they handle the situation at first? HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
9 people like this
26 responses
@carmelanirel (20976)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Oh how awful, I will pray for this family, I can't imagine what they are going through.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Thank you very much. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@jillhill (37377)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I think I can understand how he must be feeling. I don't think I would really want to live in that condition either. If it were something like being paralized.....or losing a limb that would be easier to handle then what your friend has to handle. No sight..no arms...one leg...no privates....I think the best thing to do is to leave this up to God and remain his friend respecting what he feels. Though others might not want to lose him...think of the quality of his life.
4 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Yeah this is tough on the WHOLE family. I can only imagine all their thoughts right now too. Yeah thats the thing, so much lost at one time. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
2 Oct 08
This is absolutely horrific, GB, and it's understandable why this poor man is in such a deep depression. It's very sad he is not ready to see his friends and speak to them yet - I hope he will be able to do this in time, as the love of family and friends is the most important thing for him now. Blessings to him and his family, and I hope you will be able to see him soon.
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Yeah something like this will bring a man down quickly as far as socializing. Being an A.A member as well I am sure he will come through this ordeal. It will take a long time I'm sure but he will do it. Thanks also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
2 Oct 08
[i]Hi Grandpa B, ohhh...this is very sad! I will say a prayer for this family! I never had any friend who experienced the same but I have seen a lot of people in the past, a friend of a friend who were in the same situation before, I even accompany a friend before who visited someone in the hospital after his accident! Hopefully, your friend will be able to recover, nothing is impossible with God![/i]
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Thank you very much also. It is painful for me to even talk to him I do not know what to say really. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I will start this out by saying Congratulations to you for your 17 years of being sober. As for your A.A. friend, that is horrible to hear. I am sure he does have those strong feelings now as to me would be expected BUT he needs to think of his wife and daughter, they can still hug him. When my children where little there was a single mom across the street with two sons. Both boys young teens. The boys went with neighbors on a camping trip and the oldest was in the back of the station wagon sleeping and they had a wreck and he was left paralyzed from the neck down. He was very depressed needless to say. He just knew his life was over. It was also hard on his younger brother who felt like he should quit his sports he loved so as to not make his brother feel bad. It took awhile but he finally said he was ready to see his school friends. All we could do during the hardest times for them was to help out in anyway we could. Prayers go out to your friend and his family. I really hope he can pull out of this deep depression. Give him some time but have his wife be sure to let him know that you are calling and offering help and prayers.
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Thank you very much friend. It wasn't nor is it now easy to remain sober and clean. Man being a child and getting paralyzed has to be the hardest I think. My younger brother lost sight in one eye when he was 8. That was rough on him as well. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12646)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I said a prayer for him and his family right away. This is so tragic, its horrible. You can't blame the guy for not wanting to live, I think most people would feel that way. He has to suffer so much and to have these kinds of injuries. This is just so sad.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
3 Oct 08
That is terrible and I am so sorry to read this I have not to this extend but I have seen Friends been affected other ways while I was an Army Child and Wife It is awful and I do hope that eventually your Friend will cope with it but I think that is a long time of as that is hard to deal with very hard
3 people like this
@Fishmomma (11362)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Sorry to hear of his injuries. I know of many people injured using equipment growing up on a farm sadly it happens. My prayers at this hard time.
3 people like this
@someonesmom (5765)
• Canada
2 Oct 08
What a horrendous thing to have happened to your friend, Grandpa Bob. I've never heard (personally) of one person losing so much, at one time. What he'll have to overcome seems almost insurmountable. It'll be up to him, how he's able to handle all of this. He'll still be in shock of course. My mind boggles at what this would do to anybody, emotionally as well. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. I know when my husband was suddenly paralyzed from the stroke, it was very hard on him. He wasn't even aware of what was going on at times, but still. As 'I think' you know, he didn't make it, and lived only four weeks. Too many complications. These types of situations are definitely a nightmare.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Congratulations on your 17years! Man thats a long time (and a lot of hard work)to be so blessed. I am so sorry to hear about your friend and will keep him in my thoughts and prayers. Depression is almost a given in those circumstances but hopefully with the help of family, friends and the grace of a kind and loving God he will pull through although it will probabnly be an uphill battle for awhile. Over the course of my career i worked with numerous quadrapalegics and yes they battled depression off and on but eventually learned to live (some even thrived) with life as it was.
2 people like this
• Lubbock, Texas
2 Oct 08
Lots of good wishes and white light going out to your friend. That is heartbreaking. My Dad was one of those totally independent type people until he lost one leg. He took a long time to come to the realization that he was still alive and he needed to act like it. I can't imagine what it must be like loosing so much of your body and still being alive.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Thank you very much. They as well as myself can use all the prayers etc this day. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@jimyltm (11)
• China
3 Oct 08
May God bless the grieving families.(My english is poor,if something I say is wrong,please forgive me)
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31628)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I will say a prayer for him and his family, and I can see why he doesn't want to speak with anyone right now. I hope that he will get better and have a good quality of life. So young to have something so awful happen!
2 people like this
3 Oct 08
Hi GRANDPA BOB, The poor man and ofcouse I will pray for him and his family and I hope he will recover from his mind and body soon. Tamara
2 people like this
• United States
3 Oct 08
OMG your story brought tears to my eyes for the family. What a horrible thing for all involved to go through. It is not what is on the outside that makes a man it is what in his heart that makes a man. I did say a prayer before writing this post. I hope the AA family can help him. He must be in so much pain physically and mentally. May God Bless him.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I almost fell over when my friend called relating this to me. I had just seen this man and his family a week or so ago too. Hard to believe this happened. Thanks also friend. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Oct 08
Grandpa Bob I said another prayer for them. I asked God to help them heal and to give them strength to continue on with their lives. Bob have you gone and seen the wife and daughter yet. I know the husband says he does not want to see anyone but you can show your support to the family.
@jerzgirl (8170)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
2 Oct 08
I am so sorry, Bob. What a horrible thing to happen. I do understand where he's coming from, but I hope he comes to understand that being a man is more than having the right parts. It's also who you are inside. That won't be easy and I won't pretend it will be. The healing itself will be horribly painful and so much more. Every ounce of good wishes I can offer are sent to him and his family for his recovery, mental health and the overall strength they'll all need. With regard to knowing someone - my Uncle Charley, previously mentioned, had prostate cancer. During his final year, he developed Bell's Palsey and half of his face was paralyzed. I was speaking to him on the phone and he began to cry because he said, "I can't kiss Mary anymore." Mary was my aunt and he just adored her. Yet, he was 6'4" of towering strength, a sign painter for the PRR, municipal Santa, and gentleman farmer but I didn't know what to say when he began to cry. I just cried silently at my end. He later had one leg amputated in order to slow the disease down, but he never left the hospital again. That one event though showed me how important some things are to some people that seem minor to others.
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Thank you very much friend. Yeah I know all this but this man & anyone in his shoes would feel the same I bet. I sure know I would at my age etc losinjg so much at once. Thanks for mthe wishes etc as well. They are needed all around my life as of late. I can say this for sure, dad will never cry. He never has. Even when mom passed away he never shed a single tear. Not that any of the family saw anyhow. I've never seen my dad cry. That's a shame too as crying is a form of leting go of things in our lives. Thanks again and sorrry about your Uncle Charley. Bless you. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@Grandmaof2 (7602)
• Canada
3 Oct 08
What an awful awful situation. You're such a good person to have made that call. This is not to put men down in any way but I find that men do have a harder time at doing stuff like making that call to the wife. Just as men do have a harder time to talk about it. This fellow will appreciate your call even though he didn't speak to you, he likely will later. Yes of course I will say prayers for this fellow and lets hope everything works out well for this poor man and his family. Keep us in the loop.
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Wow what a horrible thing your freind has gone through I will be thinking of him and his family. Only time can heal his wounds his mind will adjust to things and he will get better I know he doesn't feel that way now but as long as his freinds and family stand by him he will make it through this.
1 person likes this
@tess1960 (2386)
• United States
3 Oct 08
My cousin was operating a boom and got too close to the electrical lines. The zap burned his hands and threw his head backwards and when his head touched the metal it got burned. He has an awful scar on top of his head and no hair will grow there. He also lost just his thumb at first but then finally he lost part of the arm, to the elbow. He had several surgeries the first year after the accident. He is a farmer and this caused a great hardship on the family. We are blessed that he is alive and has witnessed his daughters graduationa and the birth of his first grandchild. I am soo sorry for your friend and his family.
@tess1960 (2386)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Oh, how did the family handle this? Lots of prayer and community fundraisers. Family and friends were important in helping the family learn to cope. Biggest thing was the love that surrounded him and his family.
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
20 Apr 09
I'm so sorry for coming in so late. So sorry to hear about the tragic story of your friend. I hope he must be better by now. This has happened to any of my friends.