No Shame!
By happymommy3
@happymommy3 (2012)
United States
October 13, 2008 2:12pm CST
Have you noticed how these days so many people are cheating on their spouses? People have always cheated on each other but seems like now a days people just do it like it's a normal thing to do and it's okay to do it.
I went to a drive through yesterday, when I was at the first window the guy commented me on my eyes, and I thought, okay, nice compliment. No harm there. Than he asked me if I was married, I said yes. He than says, "well so am I, why don't we hoop up, no one has to know." I than told him, "I don't go down that road" than I just cut him off and drove up to the next window to pick up my order. I waited for a couple of minutes and I guess he spoke with the girl who was giving me my order and she asked me the same question if I was married. I looked at her funny and said "did that guy tell you to ask me that again"? She said yes. I told her that I had already told him I was married and I won't go down that road. I told her that I felt really sorry for whoever his wife is. She than told me, "yeah, the sad thing is his wife works here too". I couldn't believe it!
It's terrible how some men and women have no shame in cheating on their spouses like that. My husband and my marriage are very sacred to me and I could never imagine cheating on him and acting like it's okay just because "nobody" will know. What do you think, do you see things like this happen everyday and what are your comments about it?
5 people like this
18 responses
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
I agree there are just really some people who really think that being married is just something written on paper that could be thrown out anytime they want. I really find it annoying that some guys aren't contented at all with having one partner for life. I know some people who went into this kind of relationship but sad to say they keep on coming back to it. I hope that these people will realize the value of marriage.
2 people like this
@sanjo0679 (225)
• United States
14 Oct 08
If a person's a cheater then they don't need to be married. My husband and I've been together almost thirty years and haven't cheated on each other. This is the second marriage for both of us and we both dealt with cheating spouses. I guess people don't pay attention to their wedding vows as much as they should.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
19 Oct 08
This is nothing new. Married people have been having affairs since the beginning of time. But , it is true people are more bold about it these days. Even though it isn't your scene, an affair between two married people is better than a n affair with one partner is married and the other is single.If both are married, then they Both know they will not be free to marry each other. And these days there are open marriages, a marriage where each partner is free to have affairs.I am not surprised or shocked about all the affairs. I guess my age is showing.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I don't see why anyone would want to marry period.I guess what you see as a problem is that people don't think of marriage as sacred.That point I can understand.I never thought of marriage as sacred but I never wanted to marry either.
@rhyannefranz (770)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
I just hope my boyfriend is not like that or would never be like that. Especially now that I am pregnant with his child. But as of now I can say that he is honest and true to me, and I may say that he is loyal. Eventhough at times I don't believe him not because he has done something wrong but that's how I think. It's quite hard for me to trust anyone because of my dad who is a womanizer and left us for another woman. So that made me think this way, I just hope my boyfriend would not replace me or find another woman to be his 2nd.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I can understand how it might be hard for you to trust men because of your past with your father. It's usually hard to get out of that "mindset" once you've been hurt like that by someone you're supposed to look up to. I'm sorry for you having to go through that as well, no child deserves that. Not all men are like that though and I hope you can find more trust between you and your boyfriend. I've been with my husband for almost 11 years, got with him at 17 and have 3 kids now. I have never doubted him ever, he's never given me a reason to not trust him either. I wish you the best with you and your boyfriend, your baby deserves a complete happy family, so do you:)
@arunmails (3011)
• India
14 Oct 08
Some of the people cheat on their spouses.. they don't take it as a shame... these kind of relations will not have any respect... but, they are not aware of this.... They do this by just in a second, and they live in the darkness until they caught... If they caught, I don't know how they will eact....
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Oh yes, I know what you mean. I know a couple people in the family who live like this. A couple times have been caught and you think they won't do it again but unfortunately, yep, they go and do it again. For some it gets to the point where they just don't care anymore and live their lives the same way never changing, no matter how many people they hurt. Thanks for responding:)
@myhllim (272)
• Malaysia
14 Oct 08
I don't see such things happen among people around me yet. Maybe yes and that is not so obvious so I did not notice. Marriage is sacred to me. Thus I won't lie to my spouse and I will be shamed of myself if I have that intention. I really don't know how are you going to maintain a happy marriage life if you are cheating your spouse...
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
21 Oct 08
No one will be happy in their marriage as long as they are cheating, you're right. That is great that your marriage is sacred to you. Alot of people these days don't take their marriages serious like some of us do. I'm not sure how marriages are over there where you live, here there is alot of infidelity everyday in marriages. That's great though that you don't see that much where you are. Thanks for responding.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
13 Oct 08
That guy is so luck that he didn't do that to me. I would have hauled my butt into the stores and reported him to the manager. What disrespect!
When I was with my ex I saw a lot of that (mainly because the spouses were gone a lot and we were all pretty immature - 16-22). The people we surround ourselves with now are not like that at all. They have been married along time and find such things despicable.
Even if you want to cheat on your spouse, how does anyone find the time?
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Yes, lol, I hear your anger and how you'd react to the situation. I think my first initial thought was what a jerk, and just cut him off after the dumb remark about it being okay to hook up because he was married and no one would know about it. If I did go in and report him I'd want to know who his poor wife was to tell her first what kind of husband she had. I just don't think she'd be so surprised about it though because he's probably already cheated on her before or done stuff like that before. He didn't seem to shy at all so I'm sure he has more experience, lol. I agree with you in how do people even find time to cheat, but unfortunately someone who is a cheater is gonna find the time to do it I'm sure.
Thanks for your response:)
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
14 Oct 08
wowww... that is really very daring of the man to ask that question to you... if i were in your position, i will report him to his manager... what kind of person is he that dares to cheat with customer like that??? especially his wife is working there as well... i will never cheat on my hubby... i hold on to my marriage vow very strictly because it is sacred... i wouldn't want to get married if i still want to play around with men... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
13 Oct 08
WOW...she got herself a real winner!! That's how it is with Hubby and I...it's just him and I. I take my vows seriously and so does he. I figure if I wanted to be with someone else, I wouldn't have married him and if I was unhappy enough in my marriage to cheat then I needed to not be married.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Lol... It's good to see there are people out there who still take their vows serious. You are absolutely right in your thinking, if you're not happy enough and feel like you need to cheat than you shouldn't be married. Thanks for your response:)
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
13 Oct 08
You know, I have noticed this too.
Just talking to people I learn about it more and more. It's like having the right to a little happiness for themselves excuses all. To me, I think if things are so 'not right' in a marriage that you find yourself open to that kind of experience, at least have the respect for your spouse to end that relationship first.
I notice that married people tend to look for flings with other married people because it is less likely to 'get complicated'.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I agree, if the person is wanting to cheat they should have enough respect to tell the other person they are not happy and end things before they hurt them. People these days make excuses for everything just to make them right, (in their own minds) I guess, lol. Thanks for your response:)
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
13 Oct 08
It really is terrible, no doubt about it. I think that people are becoming overall, more and more narcissistic. It's all about me and my needs, people don't really talk about their feelings as much anymore, they talk about things they want, which is a good way to make people forget what's really important in life.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I totally agree with you. Alot of people are becoming more selfish and only care about their needs. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship and if they don't have that the relationship is surely going to fall apart. Thanks for your response:)
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
14 Oct 08
hi happymommy!
your story is really sad. how can married people do that? if one love and respect their partner, one should never do such thing. although "nobody" will know, there is still the conscience. and there is also karma. that is if you believe in it. Good thing you are very loyal to your family. blessings to you. take care
@PaulCarey (96)
• Ireland
13 Oct 08
i totally agree with you, i think it is disgusting how people can cheat on their partners and not feel the slightest bit of guilt, i could never cheat on anybody
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Yes, it is terrible how people seem to not feel any guilt about cheating. Thanks for your response:)
@Lilchele36 (139)
• United States
18 Oct 08
wow that is very sad, for the wife, but who Knows she may be doing it too. You are right pople are cheating on their spouse more these days and do'nt care. i think it's because the people accept it.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Unfortunately it happens alot. Especially in MY family. My grandfather cheated on my grandmother. My Dad cheated on my Mom. My husband cheated on me. And my daughter in law cheated on my son. Every case except for my grandparents ended up in divorce. My son's was just final a couple of weeks ago.
The thing that I never understood, and still don't is all of us loved our spouses and worked hard at our relationships. So its not like the partner's weren't getting any attention. Its like they just didn't care. I don't know. I just hope it doesn't continue in our family. My granddaughters are still very young. Lets hope when they marry it doesn't happen to them too!
@Nanazone (14)
• China
17 Oct 08
I am a Chinese traditional girl,and i found this kind of thing usually happen in the big city .maybe,the modern life require the relations ,which is full of cheat and disgust.We know,the more people the get,the more they need,in this developed society,people become pressing,lonely,sensitive....they can not undertake these things but to catharsis by another way,just like to find a stranger to do the sickthings.
Of course,we can not own the bad behaver to the modern society,there must be related some moral about the people.I think, a good man can be responsible not only for tnemselves but also for their couples and all others.
I am 22 years old,but I have no boyfriend ever,because i am always ask for a good guy whom i love,and he need to love me.I never put my heart to anyone who would be cheat love cheat me.wish i am right.
@momtrying2makeit (3270)
• United States
29 Nov 08
That is scary, no wonder there are so many people getting AIDS and stuff. But I know this might sound bad but some people are not happy in their marriage and like to stray because they think it is okay and will make them feel better. No excuse though if you are married you should try and work things out before sharing your bed with just anyone. At least this is my view on it.
