Rascism is alive and well in my town, and I'm a little shocked
By estherlou
@estherlou (5015)
United States
October 21, 2008 9:19am CST
I guess I've lived a sheltered life. I'm 58 years old. We recently got a new owner for our cake shop. She happens to be black. Our shop has been in business for 20 years. I've worked there, decorating wedding cakes, for 17 years. I love our new boss! She is a little younger, enthusiastic, eager to be the new owner, eager to implement new ideas...in short...she is infusing the whole work place with new energy and excitement and enjoyment for our work once again! It is all great! With the new owner, came her 22 year old daughter to work the front counter, and another friend she hired to also work the front counter, who is also black. The other 11 employees are white with 3 mexican-americans. So...if you walk into the shop now, there is a "black" presence up front to wait on customers. That is the only change, but of course, the kitchen crew and the decorating crew is hardly ever seen by the public. Okay...last week, a "little old lady" walked in, saw the boss, her daughter, and the new front lady all up front waiting on customers. She waited her turn and talked to the owner's daughter. "Where are all of the regular people that used to work here?" The daughter took it in stride and told her they had retired and then waited on her. When I heard the story, I giggled thinking how silly "little old ladies" can sometimes be. Later, I wondered if I was being insensitive. And then another woman came into the shop to pay on her wedding cake. She almost freaked out! The owner had to reassure her that only ownership had changed, the rest of the crew was still here...the wedding cake decorator was still here...her wedding and her wedding cake was not in jeopardy because of the change...etc. etc. etc. The customer later apologized to our boss for her over-reaction, but it got me to thinking. Seeing more black customers come in lately has been interesting, but that is all I thought about it. How others react to the new "black" presence, is also interesting...but I just never expected those kinds of comments. Our boss, said that was one of the reason for keeping the name of the shop the same...partly because it has been in business for 20 years and that the established customer base is part of what they bought with the business, but partly because they expected some of these types of reactions. I was so totally shocked. We are in the panhandle of Texas, in a town of about 200,000...not the "deep south". In thinking about all of this, I realized that we have an area of town that is mostly mexican-american, a part of town that is mostly vietnamee and oriental, and a part of town that is mostly black, so that "seperation" does occur, though most of us don't pay any attention to it when we go shopping etc. In the malls, or at walmart...you think nothing of the variety of people you see! I guess I am just naive, or just now learning that growing up white is quite different than growing up black. It has just given me a lot to think about.
6 people like this
19 responses
@pkraj111 (2458)
• India
21 Oct 08
I think you are just over reacting after I read your discussion. Yes racism is still present in our lives,
but I cannot see racism in the comments you talked about. It is quite common that people will ask questions when they do not see old faces they are accustomed to.
Also a new owner means new contacts and so there will be some new customers. Why you arrive to the conclusion they are racist comments I don't understand.
but I cannot see racism in the comments you talked about. It is quite common that people will ask questions when they do not see old faces they are accustomed to. Also a new owner means new contacts and so there will be some new customers. Why you arrive to the conclusion they are racist comments I don't understand.2 people like this
@redhotpogo (4401)
• United States
22 Oct 08
hmmm I don't think that was a good example of racism. Old people like familiar things. She just wanted to know where the regular people were, not why she was being served by black people. When people look for bits of racism, to say hey I agree with you black man. I feel your pain, it just shows their own fear, and racism. Racism does exist all over the world, and its not a white thing. Every race has its racists. But you won't need to look for it. It will be very obvious. You should never judge anyone. Someone one day may call you a racist for something you say.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Oct 08
So many people are commenting that what I had heard about was not really rascist. I am beginning to think all of you are right. My reaction was based on how others in the shop perceived what had happened and I think I took it too far...looking for what wasn't really there...just people who had no warning about the change. The old boss worked her last day on a saturday, and when we opened the following monday...the new boss was in place.
@redhotpogo (4401)
• United States
23 Oct 08
There are lots of people out there claiming this person or that person is racist, for reasons only they know. To make one race look better than the other, or to make themselves look like civil rights heroes. I don't need to mention names we have all seen these impostors on tv crying wolf. There is racism out there, genuine hate filled people that wish others harm, but if we continue to find racism in innocent comments, then eventually people will be immune to what is being said, and they will ignore their cries of "foul". People need to start looking at each other as equals, instead of potential racists.
oh and this comment wasn't to you. Its just a general rant to anyone out there who may be reading this discussion.
@oriental (1050)
• Uruguay
21 Oct 08
I think yours is a very good example of "being at the other side of the counter", in both the literal and the symbolic sense of the idiom. I think that you can see the facts in this way because you really know your new boss as a human being, whose only difference with you is the colour of her skin. People at the other side of the counter, let's say "customers", don't know her, so they can be easily misled by prejudice.
@desertdarlene (8910)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I'm not really sure it was racism, but they noticed a difference and were concerned that they weren't going to get the same product as before. Or, it might have been unconscious. I know with me, even if they were the same race that I am, if I saw all different people working at my favorite bakery at the front counter, I would have a reaction, too. People do things a different way and if I was used to a certain group of people doing it one way and suddenly a new group of people came in, I would react, but not badly. I would give them a chance, though, and not turn away.
1 person likes this
@lovelyladydancing (1016)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I may be naive, because I have a lot of black friends and I don't see people that way. But, I read your discussion and I really think the customers were freaked out by having someone new. Since it is an all new staff up front, there is no way of knowing. Maybe if you had someone white up front as well, you could really see if there is a difference.
1 person likes this
@mrsgoodygoody00 (895)
• United States
21 Oct 08
"black prescence". lol. What the heck, that's kind of an odd thing to say. With myself being African American, I would not want to be referred to a "black prescence", like I'm some type of a force or something. I'm well aware of African American history. So, I would be more surprised if racism did not exist. I personally have not dealt with too many racist. I can only think of a couple right off the top of my head. People are just somewhat ignorant, and not very open minded. This is one of the reasons why I am not a people person--someone could be a pervert, have no beliefs, or now that I think of it, be racist. I think a lot of people are racist, even though they may not consider themselves to be, or realize that they are.
1 person likes this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I think you make a great point to all of this discussion. I thought "black presence" was a good way to describe our change, whereas you think it is pretty odd. I meant nothing by that, so just shows how differently we can see things. I feel now that I have to be extra careful now, when I didn't feel that before. I feel like I might do or say something offensive in my ignorance. Before, I just was enjoying my new boss and all of the new enthusiasm for the positive attitudes and changes. So...it means that now I am being too sensitive instead of acting "normal"...whatever that means! LOL.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
21 Oct 08
I am not sure those comments were racist though. I would have made the same comments because they were different people, not because of their skin color.
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Oct 08
You are about the 3rd person to tell me I overreacted...perhaps now, I am going too far in the "other" direction and now seeing what isn't really there...seeing what was not really intended. Big sigh...it's like living with a chip on your shoulder about something...you tend to look for things that aren't really there. It's a fine line to walk. I'd hate to have to live that way.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Oct 08
I don't think you were over reacting, you just saw what you thought was racism. Had I actually been there, I may have thought the same thing.
Like today I taught at a day care and the director said something like "well at least the kids didn't cry." I thought that was an odd comment, but didn't think about her talking about the other teacher that was going there. When I told my boss, she thought the girl was commenting on the other teacher.
@JUNGLE (1157)
• South Africa
22 Oct 08
That was a very interesting read.I myself am not white being of mixed origins.I am from a country that has been slammed regularly because of rascism.As I was growing up and hearing what other countries were saying about my country and it's racial prejudice,I never knew how much worse it was in the very countries that were berating us.The K.K.K.being the worse.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
22 Oct 08
It is really quite funny, the reactions that people have. I hope her business goes well and the people start being more friendly with them.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
22 Oct 08
VEry good post!
I really never paid attention to al lthis either till I moved to Tenn,
that was in the 60s
Then I realized tha tmost of the western towns I had lived in either didnt have any people in them but whites and the ones that did had the pockets of the black and the Mexicans in different parts of towns.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Oct 08
Well considering what is on television, where the black person is usually the boss or the one who has the moral standards, I think that someone who hardly gets out at all and spends most of the day watching Tv would be shocked. And the new owner is in front. The others who used to work there are still in the back, and the customer was wondering possibly why not one of them bought the store.
So this store has no doubt a mixture, but the elderly lady does not see this. She sees that on Tv drama all the bosses are black, therefore not getting out, she thinks that every store or business she will visit, they will fire the white bosses and put African-Americans in their place. And you say that the new boss is more energetic, therefore increasing her fear.
Now before anyone gets angry, I do watch Tv and I did notice this and I have a husband who wants to show how unprejudicial he is when Denzel Washington stars, and has watched the Pelican Brief so many times, not because of Julia Roberts, etc. I am more concerned with the actor not what shade or lack of shade they are, and do not get interested if - the actor happens to be black. So I prefer that the one who owns the business be of the same ethnic group as the rest - like he rose from a humble beginning. So I prefer if the boss is black, then the ones who work for him are mainly black, if the boss is Chinese, most of the ones who work for him is Chinese. Then I root for someone who came from the same area, endured the same prejudices, and in spite of it, made a name for himself and is now helping the community.
I do wonder about your town, where there are districts separated according to ethnic groups. I can understand restaurants, novelty shops, import places, etc. but the residential areas?
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Oct 08
There are people of every ethnic group in most residential areas, but there are major areas where each ethnic group keeps to themselves.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
I live in an area where there are a lot of Dutch and English people, a Filipino family down the street, a black family at the end of the block, and there is probably some Ukranians because when New Year comes, they still have the Christmas decorations because their Christmas comes later than ours.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
21 Oct 08
last night, i was watching a historical presentation on president johnson on my local pbs station and of course, he was president during the height of racial tension in the us (i am in canada, but fairly close to the us border) and it got me wondering how prevelant racism is present in today's society and it looks like it is (i guess sometimes stuff like that is handed down throughout the ages).
1 person likes this
@peedielyn (1207)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Kudos to your boss for doing the right thing. It might have something to do with race, but at the same time it's mainly about change. Like you said, that same shop has been there for 20 years. People might have taken the "change" better if they would had a little more information such as change of ownership and all. No, it need not be explained that "black people" are running the shop now, but knowing a few changes might be made in the near future would probably hit people another way. Your boss must have foreseen this and she seemed to do the right thing by detering the fact that there are black people running the shop. People will eventually warm up to that idea that they are no different than anyone else, they own shops, have kids and bleed the same blood.
I remember when I was a kid, the Cosby show taught me a lot. Of course, that was in TV land. I always thought black people were rich with good looking kids and such. When I moved from my little white town to a mixed race town, I learned that they struggle just like me, bleed just like me, and work just like me. They just have better tans than me. It woke me up!
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
22 Oct 08
As I'm reading all of the responses, I think it has more to do with the abrubt change instead of color. The former owner's last day was on a saturday, and she didn't tell the public about the change. We reopened on monday morning with a new owner and some new people up front. So...I think most everyone is right...it was just the shock of the former owner being gone without warning and new faces up front. Everything will calm down soon, I'm sure.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
21 Oct 08
That does not surprise me and I must say that the new owner as front staff are handling it well. I grew up in the "deep south" where everything was totally segregated. I know that a lot of people older than I who still find it hard to see a black person in charge. Around Houston we notice these days that most of the convenience stores are owned by Pakistani's and the motels that are being built around here are owned by Indians. Of course they are all American-born or immigrants who are citizens but sometimes we tend to look at it like foreigners are taking over. It is a little like people used to feel when blacks moved to the front of businesses years ago.
@thedogshrink (1266)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but I'm not really seeing racism in these examples that you gave. It just seems like surprise to see new people at the helm. It sounds like the sale of the shop was done quietly, with no big banners saying new ownership or new management. And a wedding cake IS something very special, important, and personal == meaning I would think that person was worried about whether her cake would still be made to her original specifications. Maybe I missed something in there? Did anyone take their business elsewhere, or specifically say something racist, or was it all just people expressing surprise at new owners?
@CAdreamer (118)
• United States
21 Oct 08
I know what you mean. I grew up with a black presence in my own family, so I always just thought nothing of it. It wasn't until last fall that I found out how truelly prejudiced alot of people are. I have been all over this country this past year I am now 33 and I have heard things that just made me so mad. People saying that fine let us mix but dont' date them. I have met people that have friendships with other races, but still say that people should only date their own kind. I mean we are in the year 2008 and still people are afraid of those that are different. I have no tolerance for anyone who spouts things like that. when I was a child, my parents moved us out of Milwaukee Wisconsin to the country. My aunt was married to a black man, and had black childern. Do you realize that the neighbors wouldn't be friends with my family cause of seeing black people in our yard. I think it is really really sad how narrow minded people can be.
@Zephier (73)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Sure there racism is still alive across this country and it exists against all colors. But i don't see how either one of the people who reacted after noticing the change in staff were being racist. Unless they actually said something racist it's highly doubtful they were acting in a racist manner. No offense but you're probably reading into something that isn't there. You ever think that maybe the women actually had become accustomed and friendly towards the former staff and were upset that they weren't there anymore? There's no reason to go out of the way while stressing yourself out to keep up some sort of "i'm not racist" appearance. Don't worry about how others are like anyway since you can't change them if they were being racist.
The "growing up white is quite different than growing up black" is a fallacy, for the most part, by the way and may also be something that can be taken as racist by some. How people grow up is hardly about race. At least not in this day and age.
@ssj3goku (113)
• United States
21 Oct 08
It's sad, but true. Racism is alive and well. Did you happen to see the Obama bucks cartoon? It is blatantly racist instead of the covert racism that you saw. The cartoon depicts obama on a food stamp with chicken, cool aid, and watermelon as the side pictures. If racist cartoons can exist on this level and attack a major political presidential candidate, they certainly can exist in smaller areas.
