do unto others?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85137)
Shingle Springs, California
November 13, 2008 11:16am CST
Marriage counseling thing that I am learning. Sometimes people treat you the way that they would want to be treated. And sometimes that isn't the way that they want to be treated at all. Example:
If I can't sleep at night, I get up really quietly, go downstairs, drink some chamomile tea and kind of wait it out. I don't say anything to my husband because I want to let him sleep. That's what I would want him to do if he couldn't sleep, deal with it and not wake me up. But he wakes up, comes downstairs, plays 20 questions with me, which annoys me to death. Turns out he just wants to know that I can't sleep because if he doesn't know what's going on, he can't sleep either.
So anyway, clearly we're on totally different wavelengths on this one. I'm trying to be considerate the way I would want him to be to me instead of being considerate the way that he would want.
Apparently the golden rule isn't always golden.
2 people like this
3 responses
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
14 Nov 08
WOW that was a mouthful! You are right and I can see my husband doing the exact same thing.... Why do they worry and ask and then after they know what's up go right back to bed or whatever they were doing?? I tell my husband exactly how crazy that makes me and say too bad if he doesn't like it and I tell him that as well. It's madness GO BACK TO BED will ya!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Nov 08
Or better yet, just STAY there. Obviously if I COULD sleep, I'd be in bed sleeping, so the problem is that I CAN'T sleep. lol
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Nov 08
OMG is it possible that my husband has 2 wives? That sounds just like him. Except in my case it's 25 years!
with 
and a 
@GardenGerty (169474)
• United States
19 Oct 10
Two years later, he still does not get it. When does he move out? I wonder if it is just that some hubbies are like that? It is pretty juvenile, really. When I was first married, the first time, my hubby was that way, and I would deliberately stay up to irritate him and deprive him of sleep if I was miffed about something. I was twenty. He was twenty. He out grew it. Sounds like Richard never will. He would want you to come check on him if he could not sleep.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169474)
• United States
19 Oct 10
First hubby and I both outgrew our juvenile behavior. Second hubby could sleep through an earthquake. I am free of that problem now.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
13 Nov 08
No,i think there is definately some sort of double standards in play with men vs. woman.It's just wheather or not yu think it's worth it.I'm sure you have some ways in which you work his nerves.I mean that in the best of ways.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 08
I don't know about double standard, exactly, but men definitely do have a different way of looking at things. I'm finding out that on some subjects he really IS from Mars! 
