Are You Stupid?

@yuna15 (2707)
Philippines
November 27, 2008 8:52pm CST
I guess most of us feel stupid in a certain way whether in life, dealing with modern technology, or anything new that comes our way or Even here in myLot. Being called stupid though is a different thing. While I was on my way home I heard a mother calling her little child stupid. HOnestly I don't appreciate parents doing that especially if the child is less than 12 years old or depending upon their emotional tolerance. When I was a child, my mom called me stupid if I have done something wrong. This made me feel inferior and I had low self-esteem. Calling someone stupid will not make them smart. Something has to be done to address the "wrongs." Please do share your thoughts. Have you ever been called stupid by anyone that deeply offended you? Please do share those times wherein you actually felt stupid about something. How about here in myLot did anyone make you feel stupid in any way? Have you ever made anyone feel stupid?
9 people like this
37 responses
@bestie (3292)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I am the one who always think I'm stupid and called my self stupid sometimes...I keep on doing stupid things thus I am stupid,yeah...I never make anyone feel stupid on the contrary I always make myself feel that I'm stupid.and I admit it.
4 people like this
@ralphido (843)
• India
28 Nov 08
Great Scott!! that's the best damn confession i have ever heard in my life.. but even though you may be stupid you are one hell of a brave person to admit that.most people(including myself) find that a very hard thing to realize and accept.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Well everybody feels stupid at some point but I don't think that there is a stupid person. Don't call yourself stupid dear. Calling yourself that will make you feel inferior.
2 people like this
@bestie (3292)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
right! being stupid has a lot of meaning and i would associate my stupidity into foolishness and silliness..I am being absurd sometimes so I would consider and called myself stupid...I pretty know I should but I can't help myself sometimes
2 people like this
@ayenacsi (911)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I try to keep my patience for as long as I can when dealing with my own kids but you know kids they can really test one's patience. I will not, though call them stupid but there were a few times that I may did when I was very angry about something they have done, and the moment I say it, I instantly feel sorry that I know I shouldn't have said it. I know parents would understand what I am trying to say here. For grownups, calling someone stupid is uncalled for. Anybody is not as smart as the next person. And some people just need a little more guidance and time to learn something new.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Dealing with children could be a big challenge but in case you tell them such a thing you should immediately explain to them that you were angry and tell them why you were forced to say such a thing. A child's mind is so amazing we don't know what they think sometimes so always have to make them feel loved. Yes calling somebody else stupid is not proper a person may not be smart enough but that doesn't make him stupid. The learning process could be different with each person. Thanks for the input! Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@ayenacsi (911)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
hello yuna I would just like to say that you are so nice. I can see that you have responded to everyone here in this discussion and that you really did take the time to read and respond to each of us, you are so nice. Have a nice day !
2 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
Thanks . I really want to be able to respond to everybody as much as I can.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Parents who address their child stupid were the first thing who are stupid themselves, a child ought to be taught rightfully so that he/she will learn let him know his shortcomings otherwise if he/she does make a mistake, realize as well that we are not perfect, NEVER CALL a CHild STUPID. I wasnt called by my parents stupid. I think we might not be able to know things exactly how it operates but that doesnt mean stupidity already, I hate it when someone addresses another stupid unless otherwise, have a valid ground of calling the other but for no reason or reason that has a shallow deptness, heck, whose stupid on that case then?
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I accept being called stupid if I know that I really did something stupid. So basically if someone makes the same mistakes all the time and obviously not learning from their mistakes then that's what you call stupid. Thanks for your input! Happy posting!
3 people like this
• Lubbock, Texas
28 Nov 08
But even if you make a mistake that you knew was a mistake YOU aren't stupid. You behaved in a stupid way at that time, but you aren't a stupid person.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Yup I understand what you mean. I guess I'm referring to the times wherein I did a lot of stupid things in my life.
2 people like this
• China
28 Nov 08
Hey yuna. My mother once said I wasn't as beautiful as when I was a little girl and I felt very bad, though it's been about 10 years and now so many guys around me telling me how beautiful I am. I still can't forget the words my mom said. It's really wrong to call people stupid even they are really behaving silly. As what you have said, calling others stupid can't make them smart! Everybody wants to be respected and praised and I believe favorable comments can make them feel good and also do better. Nobody has called me stupid except some guys that like me and they will call me little stupid thing, lol and I know that's just a nickname. But I am really stupid at directions. I have totally no sense of direction and I can get lost anywhere new and then I am asking how to get home in details. Well, everyone has a strong point and a weak point even Achilles got his heels to be weak. Why stupid?
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Very well said fijaril. It's nice of you to say that to her. Nobody should be called stupid. We may sometimes make somebody else feel stupid without us knowing it but we can always apologize and clear things out. For a mother, I don't understand why they would say that. Even if my daughter is just 3 years old, I always tell her how beautiful she is. Anyway, no matter how others tell you you're beautiful what your mom told you could be a big scar in your heart. I hope she doesn't think that way anymore. If your friends call you stupid, well most of us do right? We joke around call each other stupid. Thanks for sharing this Denise_Tung. I appreciate it!
2 people like this
• Singapore
30 Nov 08
Somehow, this is just the conservative tradition of Chinese to teach the young the lesson of humility. It is not meant to humiliate but to teach them to behave humbly and not be aloft with their assets i.e. cute, beautiful and etc.. Some of us may not agree with the method here, but that's the way how things are kept and being run at certain quarters. Who is to say that it is wrong when we see a well educated and brought up Denise here? So, to each and his/her own - somethings are just beyond us and our control. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15750)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
no i haven't called my kids stupid that is very awful for a kid...and luckily my parents did not call me that either! It is emotionally abusive...
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
It definitely is. I hate it when my Mom does that especially if she calls me that. One time when she asked me to cook she was angry with me because I don't know how to cook but she never taught me how! Isn't that weird?
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15750)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
yes i know what you mean, parents should not be that way because it can cause some emotional damage to children...
2 people like this
• Jamaica
28 Nov 08
I agree with you. Children need our guidance. Sometimes we as adults do not give clear instructions or directions yet, we expect children to understand what we are saying and if they don't it is easier to say "Stupid". Let us make an effort to see our children through new eyes and do not make the mistakes of our ancestors
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
We should guide and teach them instead of telling them their stupid. Calling them that way, will not make them smarter. Thanks for the response!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
28 Nov 08
we all act stupid in one way or other.I may act stupid when i was unable to understand the motive of my so called friend. I may be stupid when i believe friends so much.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Well it does make me feel stupid if I believe in something that is not real. There are times that my friends made fun of me which was so much uncalled for. I also hate when we trust a person so much then they turn out to be someone who turns their back on you. It does feel stupid if we trust people like that.
1 person likes this
@mengrufa (239)
• China
28 Nov 08
Being calles stupid doesn't mean being really stupid. Sometimes people show their love to you by calling you a unpleasant name. As a old saying goes,"The more one blame to you, the more he / she love you." Similarly, when your mother called you like that, what she meant is to cherish you, though that sounded a little angry. So, she would not called you like that when some one accompanied, avioding that others could make a mistake about that.Only she herself knew what it meant. And this is love. Don't you agree with me?
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Sorry I don't because my Mom does that all the time. She calls me stupid for something that I don't even know or something she haven't taught me about. She never teaches me things she just wants me to learn everything by myself. Like cooking, I can never learn that by myself. She called me stupid for not being able to cook! She calls me stupid every time I make a mistake and never explains to me why.
1 person likes this
@rosdimy (3935)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 08
I had been called stupid several times. I did not feel offended nor angry, just disappointed. Calling someone stupid is to me a sign of immaturity. The person who is called stupid may not have any guidance on the things he/she did wrong. How can we say someone is stupid when the person has no prior knowledge? That is why I use phrases like "don't act/behave like a stupid person" and "..no knowledge/uninformed about.." I forbid the calling of "stupid" or any other similar words at home or in the class that I am teaching.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
I agree! That word is something that we should avoid to say. We may have done stupid things but that doesn't make as a stupid person. Thanks for the input!
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
28 Nov 08
Ya,im stupid,im always make a mistake,im always make my friend angry with me,oh..thats very stupid..
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
LOL You just answered the question in my title. But as I said, nobody should be called stupid we might feel stupid sometimes but not every time.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
28 Nov 08
Nobody like being called stupid.. Be it, it's a minor or major mistake, one wont feel good when they are called stupid.. As for kids, all the more they will take it seriously and affect their thinkings.. Thus, some kids develop a thinking of wanting to quit school or dun feel like doing anyhting at all, due to parents scolding them stupid for nothing.. So in a way, whatever ple or parents say about kids, plays an important part to their growth.. Even up to now, i wont call anybody stupid because it's not a nice way of doing so.. hehe
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Good thing I didn't feel that way when I was kid. I never wanted to quit school but during that time I wanted to prove to everybody that I am not what she called. A lot people as well has called me stupid it made feel inferior but that didn't stop me from going to school. Thanks for the input kun!
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28116)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 08
That doesn't sound right. We humans have our own capacities and our brain travel on different frequency. We might not agree on certain issues but calling people stupid or being called a stupid is rude and uncalled for. Don't ever call a child stupid he will grow up thinking he is stupid and will not progress in life as this word always rings in his ear. Again no, I never made anyone feel stupid as I don't like to be called stupid either.
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
It's definitely wrong to call somebody that! Before we look at somebody else, we should try to look at our own shoes. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31620)
• United States
28 Nov 08
I hope I haven't made anyone feel stupid--there are no stupid people, really. Just as there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. I always correct anyone I hear calling a child stupid or clumsy or denigrating them in any way. I tell them it's wrong and they don't have to raise their child the way they were. I've never had anyone get angry at me when I say that. I think they probably don't realize what they are doing. I've never called my own children stupid, either. Or clumsy or anything like that. Those that do should be required to take parenting classes and be offered free psychotherapy.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Well I think my Mom definitely needs that even until now. Not just because she calls us stupid but because of her way of thinking. It's possible that we may made somebody feel stupid without us knowing it but it does happen especially when dealing with modern technology or merely by the things that we do in everyday life.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (38787)
• United States
28 Nov 08
I am fairly smart or easy to teach and learn alot of things. there are some things I feel every dumb about though with technology.
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Modern technology can be really frustrating sometimes especially if we can't make it work for us. Thanks for the response!
2 people like this
@ASteward (120)
• United States
28 Nov 08
That would hurt me. I agree. I think you should never call your kids names. My husband and I even agree never to call each other names because it's disrespectful. He made up the rule so even when he deserves it I can't call him names without a huge fight. Back to the parenting though... my dad once in a while would say "use your head." This made me feel really stupid and I never want to say that to my kids. Although I can see how easy it would be to say something like that being a parent now. lol
4 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
Sometimes parents think that we could learn everything on our own which is not the case. There are a lot of things that they need to teach. I am parent now but my child is only 3 years old as much as possible I try to teach everything that she needs to know and I would never ever call her stupid or names because I know how it feels to be called that way.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Nov 08
When I do something wrong or stupid, I usually realize what I've done and just kind of laugh at myself. But when I don't realize it my father kind of gives me a look to tell me what I did was stupid/wrong or he just advises me about it. I kind of talk to my parents about everything so most of the time when I make a mistake without realizing it I can just tell my parents about my day and they'll point out how I could have done it better. Kind of like when you think something you're about to say is really great till you hear it loud(:
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
You're lucky to have your father on your back. My father had to work abroad for us. cince he can't get a decent salary for our family here in the Philippines. Thank you for sharing! Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 08
Awwwhh!! That sucks. I'm so very sorry:( I hope he comes back soon!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (58248)
• United States
28 Nov 08
My parents never called me stupid, but my sister did. Usually it was because of something she was good at, and she felt she had a right to do that. I remember once we were supposed to sing a duet in church. I was 14, she was 16. She had had some voice lessons, and while her voice was better than mine, I can sing just fine. I'm not tone deaf, and I stay on key. So she stopped all of a sudden and told me I was holding the song back. She said it was a stupid idea for us to sing together because I couldn't hold a candle to her voice. And that hurt my feelings. At 14, I assumed she was right because after all, she had had lessons.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Well at least she didn't directly tell you that you were stupid. She just said it was a stupid "idea" but If I were in your place I would be hurt as well. Thanks for sharing this. Happy myLotting!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (58248)
• United States
29 Nov 08
Oh believe me, she has called me stupid before, this time though she had a better reason!
2 people like this
@Anne18 (11034)
28 Nov 08
I'm not stupid and either are my children. The word stupid is not allowed ot be used in our house as we don't like that word at all. We use silly instead.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
I agree. Silly is much better. Not too offensive.
@cynthiann (18609)
• Jamaica
28 Nov 08
I know that I am not stupid! What I don't have is the experience and training of new technology but I try to learn. I may even have to write it down but I will learn. As a child i experienced a great deal of emotional abuse and I suppose that my self esteem was very low.But I am all grown up and over it all now! I never called my children stupid and I had one child with learning disabilities. It does so much harm to children to call them names. Parents muyst be positive with their children. Parents are not smarter - it is just that they have had more experieinceof life.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
I agree. Parents are not smarter but they could be wiser and as you said, parents just have more experience but that does not give them the right to call their children names. Thanks for sharing this! Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6561)
• United States
28 Nov 08
Aww thats just mean to call a child stupid I think some parents should think about how detrimental it is to call a child stupid or any name that has a negative meaning, you should never call any child that especially your own my goodness my parents never called me that I'm not the smartest person in the world but I dont think Iv ever been called stupid in my life but I think I have had someone on mylot insinuate that I was stupid, but I just ignore it I hate when people judge others and say rude things, and I couldn't imagine calling a kid that.
3 people like this
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
I hear that most of the time, sadly from the poor (and I mean mothers who call their child stupid). Probably because they also did not get enough education or had a bad childhood themselves. Well as for that person who did that to you, ignoring them (like what you did) is just the best thing to do. Thanks for the response!
1 person likes this