I sure he was cheating... What Do You Think????

United States
December 7, 2008 8:56pm CST
I told him I wasn't any longer happy, so he told me to leave. He said " I'm not gonna take care of someone who not happy with me ". Five minutes after I left he called my cell phone and told me that wasn't my house any more. Well, I lived there 15 years. But that's okay, if I don't have to put up with his sh!t any more. Then 1&1/2 weeks after I moved out he filled for divorce. Two days later he told our son he and his girlfriend had to move, his lawyer " his lawyer said it would be a good idea ". He has been accusing me for years. Now I know why. I ask him if he had a girlfriend, He didn't answer at first. I think everything says guilty. what do you think?
7 people like this
28 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Hi bestest friend~Oh honey I'm so sorry! You do know that you can sue his azz off now! You can turn it all around now! He was the one cheating on you! So this is all a different game. I don't want to talk to you about it here. If you want to talk to me I sent you my email addy in my last letter to you. I'm going to write to you in private. I can't believe that he was the one cheating all that time and accusing you! That really sucks! He was verbally abusing you and all along he was the cheater! You got yourself a case! I'm going to make sure that you stay strong because you are a good person and he is a piece of sh!t and was all along! Give me a little time, and I will be sending you an email to your regular addy. Will talk to you in a bit!
3 people like this
• United States
8 Dec 08
Opal, thanks so much for offering to help her.. This is a rough time for a woman to have to go through, so if you can give her some good sound advice and not let this jerk take advantage of her, the you go girl.. After 15 years, no man should do this to any woman..
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 08
Opal, hey bestest friend. Thanks for the help. I'll be looking for your letter.
• United States
8 Dec 08
It sure sounds like it. Usually after a breakup neither party will have a relationship close enough to move in with, so in telling his son that "he and his girlfriend had to move" is pretty telling....they have been having an affair for some time. Also his telling to you leave and "I'm not gonna take care of someone who is not happy with me." already has someone else who is happy with him. He's wrong about the house not yours anymore. It's just a scare tactic. In most states, if your name is also on the deed and/or mortgage, you own half. Now is the time to hire a lawyer in order to protect your rights, your children's rights, and see to that he pays child support. Good luck, milady.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
Right one. You should take your rights. Let him pay! Give him more problems so that his happily-ever-after dreams would soon turn into a nightmare with his newly purchased girlfriend.
• United States
9 Dec 08
You go girl!! Sounds like a plan! Wait until your daughter graduates from high school and off on her own, then sell house. He pays for driving you away from him! Best Wishes, milady!
• United States
9 Dec 08
Oh he hasn't admitted having a girlfriend. And when he sells the house, you can bet your @ss half is gonna be mine. I want to keep the house, it is the only place my daughter has ever known as home. That is where we lived when she was born. So I want him to pay for it for five more years, them make him sell it, and give me half. More money for me. He'll pay child support also.
@GardenGerty (157050)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Often people who make big accusations are the ones who are guilty. Stay out of that place it is not a good scene. Do you have a place to stay, or a way to pay for it? Will you be okay? I hope so. You have just been handed a brand new life.
@agrant10 (1476)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Yes, I know it hurts, but you made an excellent point. She has been handed a BRAND new life. At least it was not 30 years.
• United States
9 Dec 08
your right. I don't think I could do 30 years. And when I get on my feet, I'll be okay. I am staying with my mom. She is my crutch right now. I'm gonna try to save money and get my own place. I'm looking forward to a brand new life. Thanks.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I would say that he probably had this girl on the side for a while now. For one thing, you were unhappy and for a reason I'm sure. Somewhere you sensed things were not right between the two of you. For being in a relationship for 15 yrs, it does not seem that he put up much of a fight to stop you from leaving at all. I'm sure it hurts...been there. Still, you are much better off without someone like this. Did he sell the house? If so, you are entitled to half of it.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Good for you! Stay strong!
• United States
9 Dec 08
You're right, there is no excuse for his behaviour! Sid hits it right on the head - not much of a fight to stop you from leaving, means he had girlfriend on the side for some time. Treating you badly appears to have been the plan to drive you away and get you to leave without him having to be the one leave or to kick you out.
• United States
9 Dec 08
I am a very determined person. When I decide I'm gonna do something. I'm done. We had talked for some time about separation, and the way he had been treating me. So when I decided to leave there was no stopping me, I was leaving. It still doesn't make any excuses for his behavior.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
8 Dec 08
It looks pretty suspicious to me. You normally don't find a new girlfriend that fast...especially when you wife has just left you and you have a kid. Not exactly a babe magnet in a situation like that. Did you and your ex own the house? If so you should be entitled to something...if he manages to sell it in this economy.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157050)
• United States
8 Dec 08
He does owe her, she was there for fifteen years.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
Whoah! That's really quick ey. Why did he even wait for fifteen years?!
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
yeah he cheats. sorry! but then again you can't beat yourself with that type of guy. he's not worth it. and you my dear deserve someone better.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 08
Yea I know I don't need anyone right now. I need to get used to being single. That's what I want to do.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
10 Dec 08
[i]Hi walkthetalk, for that short span of time, I guess he is really having a relationship long before...Anyway, it's painful but at least you're out from that life! I have a friend who has a husband like that, who accuse and very suspicious and my friend found out that he has communicating a girl, Anyway, I know it's not easy and it's sad but just be strong![/i]
• United States
14 Dec 08
I'm trying to be strong. It's hard. You know, if you have been talking to your friend. I hope she left her husband. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Its just not fair. Every time I went grocery shopping he would call and check on me. Not fair. Thanks.
• Canada
9 Dec 08
hes a cheater
• United States
14 Dec 08
yep
• China
9 Dec 08
Obviously he was cheating.Oh man,fifteen years is a really long time.I hope you can though it.
• United States
9 Dec 08
I have been through a lot worse in my life. I will manage with this. Thanks.
• India
8 Dec 08
That simple! Fifteen year old relationship finished in five minutes. Great! What a way to go! ha ha ha. Good riddance to a lousy relationship. But tell me honestly. as it a spur of the moment decision on your part to tell him that that yo were no longer happy or was it building up? You have not clarified if you did have a boyfriend. Since your husband had been accusing you of cheating, was it true? You probably did not know about his girlfriend, but he did know about your boyfriend isn't it? Both of you were cheating each other? You probably openly and he silently or discretely. he came out in the open after you left I presume. if both of you had a boy friend/girlfriend,what is the big deal? You should have continued with the marriage of conveneience. ha ha ha. Sorry i don't mean to be mean or to laugh at you, but I feel that you are mad not because he asked you to get out, but because he had a girlfriend about whom you did not know. if you had known about her, would it have made a difference?
• United States
9 Dec 08
You NO.I could almost laugh at that. Only thing, before I were to leave a response like that, I would look in the profile at the other posts to see exactly what might be going on. See maybe if there is other posts related to this one. You were way off key, and shouldn't be giving advice to people who are hurting. Stick to dog names, what kind of shoes to buy.
@shebeck (114)
• Jamaica
8 Dec 08
That is a cruel thing to say. If a man/woman accused you of cheating it does not mean you are cheating. Insecurity occurs when one party is guilty of cheating and do not know how to tell the other partner or how to stop and then to justify their actions they accused their partner that they are cheating. He was just an insecure snob, and self-fish and unconsiderate of his wife feelings.
• United States
8 Dec 08
yeah thats kinda harsh. especially since you two just split up. thats crazy. but he was probably doing it all along or so it seems
• United States
9 Dec 08
YEP Probably
• Brazil
13 Dec 08
Of course he was cheating on you! Nobody meet a woman that fast! He didn't stoped you! He was just encouraging you to divorce! If he loved you an if he wasn't cheating he wouldn't do such thing! Reading this just made me feel very angry!!
• United States
14 Dec 08
He's a jerk. So don't waist your time getting mad. I just have to ignore the phone, and try to get on with my life. As hard as its gonna be. I just can't wait till all of this is over. Thanks for your time.
• United States
9 Dec 08
Sorry to say it but yeah it definently sounds like this had been going on for awhile. People don't just move in together over night. Just from what you said about him Honey you can do better. Men like that are a dime a dozen it's the good ones that are hard to find. Good luck with everything and keep your head held high. His karma will catch up with him.
• United States
9 Dec 08
OH, but he said, I'm gonna have a hard time finding someone that treats me as good as he does. Is that funny or what.
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
8 Dec 08
You're better off out of the picture. If you weren't happy no point in staying. Smart move to go. Don't ponder on anything he's doing now or has done in the past it will only make you bitter and bitterness gives you wrinkles. Try to make a new life for yourself and be happy you got out before you killed each other. It has been said that endings can bring new beginnings. Look at this as a new beginning. Be happy.
• United States
9 Dec 08
All good points. And a nice view to look at things. Thanks a lot.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
8 Dec 08
It appears to me that he was cheating. I would fight him on every little thing just to make this more miserable for him. I would fight him for the house, spousal support, the whole nine. Not forever but just long enough to make him squirm.
• United States
9 Dec 08
That's what I plan on doing. I have had the divorce papers now for 1 week. I think I'll keep them a while longer before I give them back. He is really pestering me for them.
• Canada
30 Jun 10
omg of course you are right, I hope your lawyer got you what your enititled too
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Oh honey he was cheating and big time. I am so sorry. But now is not the time for grief, later will do fine for mourning. Now is the time to gear up for battle. Do not let this man define you or diminish you. You know what they say; Lay down with dogs you get fleas. So get yourself a good flea collar and a good lawyer and prepare for a fight. The house, his retirement funds, child support, in most states two years of spousal support, community property split down the middle. Do not let him walk away from this with his all intact. That is simply wrong.
• United States
9 Dec 08
Oh, Don't you worry, I'm not, I'll get half of every thing. Thanks.
• China
8 Dec 08
I think you are very grieve at him.If he has a new girlfriend it means the true love between you and him has die away.So i hope you build up your confidence to find a new life.Here I want to remind you,the house you lived 15 years is also belong to you.You can hire a lawyer to help you taking back the your possessions.
• United States
9 Dec 08
Well Thanks, That's one thing in all this I didn't loose, MY CONFIDENCE. He tried to take that from me. I'm just a little to strong for that. I am who I am. Nothing will change that. Finding a new life may be a different story. Wish me luck.
@shebeck (114)
• Jamaica
8 Dec 08
This man clearly did not respect or love you. He has been accusing you for years of cheating and at the same time he was cheating as well. You know there is an old saying that if you are guilty of something then you will think that another person is doing what you are doing. He has been cheating on you for years and because he was doing it he figures that you might be doing the same thing too. I myself faced that situation from time to time with my husband and I could not take it anymore so I told him I want a divorce since he think that I am cheating and if he cannot trust his wife then we will have to move on, he finally realize that he was the one cheating and not me and so he thought I was doing it too. After 14 years I told him to end that relationship because we have 3 children together and inspite of everything we loved each other. I gave him an ultimatum, who is more important your wife and children or just some flusie that is not worth breaking up your family for. He had to make a choice or it was divorce court for him. I am sorry that your husband hurt you in that way, don't let it get you down, you still have life and you are beautiful. Trust me someday your prince charm will come and sweep you right off your feet, that prince charm will see your worth and love and cherish you for it. Good luck and ask for God's guidance.
• United States
9 Dec 08
Thank you. You are a better woman than I am. I would have tossed him as soon as I found out he was cheating. you two must really love one another to still be together. good luck in your relationship.
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
I think he's already cheating while you're leaving together. But i feel sad whenever i heard couples separating. :-(
• United States
9 Dec 08
me too ! me too !