When you think someone is cute

I have been painfully shy all my life. I read somewhere that it is genetic. I find this strange because my brother is quite the opposite, has no problem meeting people and talks to strangers quite freely and has lots of friends of both sexes. I have no advice other than it is little understood about being shy from people who are not. It takes a lot of work to overcome this problem.

When I think someone is cute, or even if I have a bit of a crush on them, I always flirt. It depends on where I am and the situation, but there are certain flirting techniques that I always follow. I stare at the guy I'm into with wide eyes, and I always make direct eye contact, then flirtatiously look down, then glance back up at him and bite down on my bottom lip. I also tease him a little bit with playful name calling (i.e. punk, loser) and/or playful hitting (think grade school days, lol). I also always touch the guy I'm talking to, rather it's the playful hitting or merely touching his arm or shoulder while we speak. Physical contact shows confidence and physically allows you to get closer to the person. I also speak a bit softer, that way he has to kind of lean in to hear me, getting closer and also ensuring that he's listening to me. Softer voices seem sexier to men as well, but since you're after women & not men, it won't be the same situation. If I were you, try chatting her up about something she's an expert in (such as something to do with the cafe), and really take an interest in what she's saying (or at least appear to). Then try suggesting getting together outside of the cafe some time. The worst she can say is 'no' and if that's the case, there are plenty of Starbucks that you can hit up for coffee instead.

I used to be the same way. I am married now, but I still have a hard time talking to women I find attractive. If you are really interested in her romantically, but you don't know how to point things in that direction, you could send her some flowers or some candies or something. It may sound old-fashioned, but it will get her attention and let her know you are interested in her without making her feel weird. Just make sure she knows who they are coming from. This should make it easier to ask her to dinner or something. Usually, the initial invitation is the hardest thing to get past. If she turns you down, then you will know she isn't really interested (although the first time she turns you down may be because she is as nervous as you are, so you may want to wait a little while and ask her again) and you can move on. If she agrees to go out with you, then just be yourself. Remember that the whole dating thing is supposed to be fun. The main thing to remember is to not move too fast. Just take things slow and have fun.