Are You More of a Talker Or Listener?

United States
December 10, 2008 12:42am CST
Do you know anyone who actually tries to do both at the same time? I have a relative that claims to be listening to what you're saying but she's so busy talking loudly over other people, so she can't hear what they're saying. OK Mylotters, I'm gonna give it to ya straight, I love to talk, but I also love to listen, but I would say that I'm more of a listener than a talker. I love to listen and observe what I'm hearing to get a better understanding of what's being said. Some people just want someone to listen to their problems, and I try to give them that by listening mostly, and then throwing in a few words, nothing BIG. So I'm a talker, but a much better listener. Which one are you better at? Talker or listener?
22 people like this
107 responses
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
I'm more of a listener.. i love listening to other people.. everytime my friends have problems they'll come to me and ask for my advice.. of course, as a concerned friend, i'll be there for her to lend my ears and give some helpful advices..
• United States
10 Dec 08
I don't have any friends but some of my relatives come to me when they have problems.
2 people like this
• Australia
10 Dec 08
Well, as I've got older I've tried to be both, but basically I'm a talker. Basically I'm as self-centred as a gyroscope. Oddly enough, even while I'm dominating a conversation, somehow what the other person says percolates, and weeks later I will surprise them by bringing up something they said in that "conversation". I may not appear to listen, but I do hear. I remember the day I woke up to my habit of talking over anyone when a fellow looked at me and said, "Hey, that was a great lecture, thanks, I really learned something". He was being more than mildly sarcastic lol. Lash
3 people like this
• United States
10 Dec 08
Haha! That's funny grandpa. Now I can call you the conversation ruler, or king.
2 people like this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I know that I am certainly more of a listener. I love to listen so well that I may end up listening in a full conversation and say nothing at all but for few acknowledging sounds. Of course I'd speak when required to occasionally.
• United States
11 Dec 08
I do that sometimes during a whole conversation.
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I'm better at listening than talking, I don't talk a whole lot, although my husband would disagree..lol. I'm just not good at talking, especially when someone's telling me their problems, I don't know what to say to them, I'm not a very good encourager, I'd rather just sit and listen, and I might say a word here and there, but not much. So I'm better at listening...Have a good day
2 people like this
• United States
11 Dec 08
Thanks walijo! I hear ya girl!
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I guess I'm a little of both. I will talk about almost anything and my life is pretty much an open book. On the other hand all my friends end up telling me their problems. One thing though, I don't try to do both at once.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Dec 08
I never tried to do both at once, I know I'll suck at it.
@toxicMDR (104)
• Romania
10 Dec 08
I rather to listen and observe ...
2 people like this
• United States
11 Dec 08
Right On! Good choice.
@shonali (1286)
• India
10 Dec 08
well im neither a talker nor a listener i should say as i do both .... i balance it out quite well i must say i see the person in front of me and judge them and then do the right thing... if i find myself with a person who talks more than me then i just listen rather than keep interrupting him everytime which would be absolute bad manners.... and if i am with a person who isnt talking much then i would be more of the talker than the listener as the silence would be very comfortable between us...but when i talk i make it a point i talk in questions so that the other person has a chance to respond and get into the conversation too and not feel left out comppletely with me blabberring my tongue off !! :)
@shonali (1286)
• India
11 Dec 08
oh yes thats what i try to do too... mainly its all about respecting the person in front of you but what would you do if the person isnt respecting you and goes on talking without letting you respond or get anything in between ..... ? would you still want to respect such a person?
• United States
10 Dec 08
I think I do well balancing it out too. I do love to do both, but I do my best to respect other people with my good manners. Good answer! Thanks
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
10 Dec 08
Miraclefreebies....here's my take on the subject....GOD gave me ONE mouth...and TWO ears, that would indicate to me that he wanted me to listen twice as much as speaking! Have a great one!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 08
AWESOME answer pergammano! You're right all the way. Thanks
2 people like this
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Welcome to myLot! Maturity has helped me to know when to speak & when to listen! When to comment, and when to stay "mum" on an issue!
1 person likes this
• India
11 Dec 08
nice answer.ok let me comment on this if you are a listner first & speaker latter then it will help you but if you are mum ( read listener) whereyou ought to speak then it is of no use.one should understand the urgency of the time,place & circumstances.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
10 Dec 08
Well I can be both. If I am with a talker I will be a listener and I am happy to listen. Sometimes I will have something to say but I tend to say things at the wrong time when people are doing something important and have no time to listen. Honestly I think I am mostly a listener. I used to not be able to talk at all and could only write my thoughts down. I have learned to talk about things now but I learn more by listening.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
11 Dec 08
Oh I have written hundreds of pages in my journal but now I try and talk things out rather than just write them down. Since it was harder for me to talk than write I thought that was a good way to go.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 08
I've never wrote down my thoughts, but I thought about getting a diary or journal or something.
1 person likes this
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
Honestly I'm more of a listener than a talker because I feel more comfortable with it. I do talk but only when needed and when the time is right. I always wait and listen so that there would be a good exchange of ideas in a conversation.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Dec 08
What a good way to communicate. I can dig that.
1 person likes this
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 08
I am much of a listener, i dont like talking too much in front of people. I mean in front of people whom i am not that familiar with. But i do talk alot when i am with a person who i know very well, those are my family members or my friends. But i am a good observer. I observe things and people very well.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Dec 08
I hate talking in front of a lot of people I don't know. It makes my hands shake and sweaty.
• China
10 Dec 08
Seems I am a listener, Actually, I am a talker in my heart. Most of time, I just listen to, after that, not saying one word, but in my mind, there has much thoughts about it. But I do not speak out, just write them down in my zone.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Dec 08
That's very interesting. I like how you put it.
2 people like this
@bellebads (740)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
i'm more of s listener. i'd like to listen to someone with problems and try to analyze it and come up with a sort of advice to solve the problem. i don't talk much only if someone will have the initiative to talk to me. i don't initiate the first move to talk because i'm afraid to be rejected. so i rather choose to keep quiet until someone talks.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Dec 08
That's a good way to be. I love to help others that way too if I can. Thanks
2 people like this
• India
10 Dec 08
hi, i am good listener....i am less talktive..i am fear about to speak in front of the people...
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 08
I have tons of problems I could use a good friend to listen to me.
10 Dec 08
I know how you feel, I don't have a stutter, but I somehow get one just before I have to talk in front of a group, it's rubbish and I have no idea how to control it!
10 Dec 08
Ahh MF feel free to talk to me!
1 person likes this
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
11 Dec 08
I think that I am a little bit or both. As a mother of a very talkative six year old, I really have to be a good listener! LOL My little boy will not take it kindly if I do most of the talking when we are together so I just let him do the talking while I listen. On the other hand, part of my job is to give presentations every now and then so I get to talk a lot too. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hey alindahaw. I understand that. There's a time to talk and a time to listen.
@hessyen (176)
• Romania
10 Dec 08
it depends on with who i am talking. if i have a problem i think im the talker if someone has a problem it is better to be the listener
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 08
Good point. Sounds good.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hey miracle! I'm afraid I'm a talker! I get accused of being person who doesn't listen sometimes, but that is not the case! I do listen, but I just have alot to say! I am by nature extremely hyper and I do everything fast including talking! So I have a problem sometimes waiting for someone to finish before I say what I have to say! I also have another problem! If I don't say what I'm thinking while I'm thinking it I might forget what I'm going to say! But, I really am a good listener! I do hear what is being said. You just have to say it kind of quick when you're saying it to me!lol
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hehehe! You're funny. I bet you typed this pretty fast huh?
• New Zealand
10 Dec 08
Well, I think I am more of a listener. I don't usually talk more and like to listen a lot to others. I believe by listening we can gather a lot of information around and understand a lot of peoples rather than being a loud talker. I usually talk less and only talk when I feel to. Also listening is one of the great skill and being a listener, one can understand a lot of things going around and also analyze various things. I am a listener and prefer to be one.
• United States
11 Dec 08
BINGO! No one could of said it better! I totally agree BIG time! Thanks Vince.
@suzzy3 (8342)
10 Dec 08
Listning and hearing are two different thing,if you can hear what people are saying it is a wonderful art.As a mother listening and hearing is something you develop over the time and to actually hear what the kids are saying is very important,Mind you like you I love a good old talk as well .I do like to put my two penneth worth in not always welcome but I do do my best,being quite is an art I have yet to get right.I mean well,would not upset anyone for the world.x
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 08
Ahh that's so sweet. It's good to know that you care how other people feel. That's a bonus. I would never upset you either.
• United States
11 Dec 08
For me it would be what is being talked about. Sometimes I listen and get the jest of what is being said. I might add something to the conversation but not alot. Other times I am right there in the mix so to speak. I have to feel confident that I know what I'm talking about. So it is with me the same a listner at times and the talker at other times. I have a friend and we are both pretty strong talkers so when we get on the phone I have to waite for her to take a breath and then jump in and claim my position. It's kind of funny but we give each other respect once we grab the brass ring. Otherwise I would call her and just listen, pretty wierd. Sometimes it's a challenge....LOL....
• United States
11 Dec 08
That's good. It makes a lot of sense to me.