Have you ever made a change?

@Sheepie (3115)
United States
December 14, 2008 5:56pm CST
Have you ever just said to yourself that you have to fix yourself, helped yourself, and just did it? I think there is a point in everyone's life in which he or she has to do something without advice and with out assistance. There is only so much other people can do to help you. There is a space inside you that only you can reach. As for me, what I have been doing in these past few months is trying to be more outgoing. I mean, the beginning of last year was very difficult for me. I was afraid to even be near people after summer vacation, I just found that I had a really irrational fear of looking a person in the eyes and smiling or saying hi. I knew it wasn't normal. I had to teach myself that people were just people, just like me. I am different, but not so different that nobody could ever really like me. I'm still very socially awkward. Sometimes I just don't know what to say. Since I'm surrounded my teenagers, it seems like everyone plays soccer and loves the Jonas Brothers. What to say! Plus, when I try to talk to another girl, and I say something that is not exactly normal, they just stare at me, even if they weren't meant to take it seriously. It's much easier to talk to guys because they don't take everything so seriously. Plus, other girls are mostly competitors, and sometimes when I am talking to one who is just plain stuck up, I can almost hear her head-voice saying "Is she prettier than me? She better not be prettier than me." I'm not good at talking to guys either though, because well, they're guys. It's harder to start talking to them, but they have more to say. With girls, I feel as though I'm scraping my mind for something to say, and it just ends up in a growing awkward silence. That makes me really anxious. I feel a lot better than I thought I could because at least I have a chance to say something and though it's still hard, I can make it happen.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
15 Dec 08
I think you are analysing things too much instead of just getting in there and 'living' it. For instance, you can't know what people are thinking when you are apeaking to them - you're only guessing. This can be dangerous and make you paranoid. Best to take people's comments at face value - sometimes it's not all about you and there's no hidden agenda - people are just trying to be friendly.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16567)
• India
15 Dec 08
it used to be difficult but i started talking about something like the weather and then i found out that ,i could talk about anything.reading books ,also help to widen the horizons.
15 Dec 08
Hi Sheepie, I think at your age is normal for you to feel all those things, but you will grow out of this awarkdness, because I used to be like that so the best way to deal with this is not think too much about and it will come naturaly, so just be yourself. Tamara
@Thumper11 (662)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I am at the complete other end of the spectrum from you on this, I am a very out going person and I love to talk to people, but with that said.. You asked if someone had ever had to make a drastic change in their lives... well, I have.... I am 26. I should have graduated from college this time last year. I should have been in my own place and I should not be in as much debt as I'm in. I dropped out of college... with one class to go... I got in with the wrong crowd and now I'm in all kinds of debt. I have moved back to my hometown to get away from the wrong crowd. I moved back in with my boyfriend and his family. I am now finishing my last class in college and I should graduate dec 20th. and I am working to pay my debt off. You can do anything that you put your mind to.... You just have to believe that you can do it. I don't always know that I can do something, but as long as I believe that I can, I usually accomplish it. Good Luck!