How long does it take for it not to matter anymore?

i like ur idea Sheepie..there is no need to hate some1 for their past, specially if they already changed now. every1 always had a bad time, bad memory, or bad history during their past no one is perfect..if they have changed, love them for however they are right now n forgive them for their past. but, one thing i'd like to ask..ehm..is it true that every1 will change in their age of 30 ?

What a good observation. i agree with you that we all do some foolish things in our youth or infancy, which we laugh at in later life, but at that time it is really silly. I remember some 30 years back when celebrating New year's eve in a Club, we were some 25 bachelors who got drinking after all the guests had left. We asked for a glass of neat Whisky each and after doing bottoms up threw the glasses behind us to smash on the walls. it was a really silly thing to do, but at that time we did it. We broke some 40 odd glasses. next day there was a big hue and cry. The matter went up to the Chairman of the Club. he took a very lenient view of the whole episode and said "If they, the bachelors do not do it at this age what do you expect i will do it at my age?"

Amen to that. Life makes us go through alot of changes no matter what age we are. We can learn from many things that we go through or stay the same with whatever we choose to do with our lives.

It depends on the power of hate. There are some who would hate a person for a long time even 30 years if it really bother them or embarrass them. I say it varies.

Holding people accountable for their actions and holding their past over their heads (holding it against them) and treating them badly if they've realized the error and made amends are two different things. People do change. It takes some people 50 years to grow up, but when they stop doing the things they did in the past, it's petty to dig the past up and throw it in their faces. I've always been told what goes 'round comes 'round, and I've seen people pay dearly for the mistakes of their youth even after they've changed, so it's really pointless to "hate" them for it. And while this old woman's at it, hating someone hurts the hater more than it does the hatee.

I haven't read anyone's comments thus far, so I'm not sure if "my" theory is "my" theory. But here's my theory: A person can be fogiven for wrongs they've done at 18 when they're 28, but that same person is responsible for wrongs they've done at 28 when they're 38. With age comes experience; and if you "don't know better" by the time you're an adult, then you're either stupid or incorrigible, neither of which are excuses at that age. Some things considered "stupid" for a 20-year-old to do when they're 50 might be more due to the times, however. Like wearing the MC Hammer pants or buying that dreadful Michael Bolton CD to woo your prom date into the sack -- those things aren't as terrible as driving drunk as a kid and killing someone or losing your temper and hitting a cop when you were 19. If the person's 60 and talking about foolish things they've done when they were 30, then I can't believe he or she is much different now. I believe regret doesn't "change" who you are as an adult - it just makes you less likely to do it again.

It will always matter no matter how long ago and how young the person is. Being accountable for ones actions has no time limit but the real question is, would one continue castigating oneself for the past wrongs??? I don't believe so. Aside from it being unhealthy, one just can't move backward. What is important is that one has learned from ones mistakes. There is a saying...hate the deeds and not the person.

I'm 18 so I'm still young and pretty immature I would say because there is still so much for me to learn. I admit I still get mad and upset about dumb things, but then realize I was wrong and will apologize even if I don't want to. I know what's right from wrong. I think if someone changes then you shouldn't remember then for what they used to be like, especially if it was 3 decades ago.