In case of rape would you report your own father?

@ronaldinu (12422)
Malta
December 23, 2008 11:07am CST
[i]A rape victim has waived her anonymity to speak of her eight-year ordeal at the hands of her own father. Candice Dinsdale, now 44, was just six when she was first sexually abused by her father Anthony Allen. The abuse, which took place at the family home, went on until she was 13. Yesterday as her father was jailed for 11 years, Mrs Dinsdale confessed she was only able to publicly speak out about the horrific abuse after the death of her mother, Patricia, 18 months ago.[/i] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1100536/Raped-father-Abuse-victim-waives-anonymity-reveal-ordeal-tormentor-jailed.html What does she has to gain to report her father after a long time? If you were instead of her would you report your own father?
8 people like this
19 responses
@dodo19 (47082)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Dec 08
Absolutely! I would report my father, if he had done something like that to me or my sister. Rape is a crime; it isn't right to do it. And those who commit such acts should be punished. No matter who did it to me, I report it, even if it meant reporting my own father. Because I believe that he should be punished for what he did.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 Dec 08
both parents should have been reported. don't u think her mother knew it. what a sad thing for a father to do. he should be shot.
2 people like this
@littleowl (7157)
23 Dec 08
A big YES ronald I have been in a similar situation and even though my mother knew it wasn'r til she divorced him that she wanted me to testify about it and make a statement...fortunatley the statement was enough but he disappeared of the face of the earth and hasn't been caught to be charged with what he did..so a resounding YES I would report my father....littleowl
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Dec 08
i say bullie for her! i would have reported my step father if i'd known you could do it after that long of time. i hope he gets the max time or whatever. its a horrible thing for a child to go through and nothings ever quite right in your life no matter how long its gone
2 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 08
My heart goes out to this girl! She loved her mother and held back her own pain for the sake of that love. YES, she should tell and so would I! Abuse of a child is sick! Unless you have been a victim of this, you can't imagine the mental anguish that can follow you for the rest of your life over being raped. I'm a victim and know how it feels.
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
26 Dec 08
What could she Gain?! How about Self-respect, peace of mind, a sense of justice, a sense of closure, healing, etc....... I can't say what I would do. I am not in any type of situation even close to hers. I think it could have crippled me therefore I may not have had the courage to do what she did. May God bless her as she continues to heal.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
30 Dec 08
Are you kidding? What does she have to gain? A release from the torment for one thing. How would you like to carry around such a secret for so long ...not being able to tell because of your mother? I don't think I would have her courage...I would be too scared of my father. I was not sexually abused by my father, but we kids were beaten severely, especially me. I don't talk about it much. I was sexually abused by several men but I have forgotten who they were. They were pretty much strangers to me. I have never mentioned this to anyone. There is a deal of shame involved.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
30 Dec 08
I am so sorry to hear that you had o suffer such beatings from your father. I did not experience this much but my younger brother who was so mischeavous did. I hope that you have been over such horrible experiences in our life. But not all men are the same.
• United States
27 Dec 08
No. I would assume that no one would believe me.so knowing me there would be two solutions. I would have committed either homicide, I would have killed him . Or I would have killed myself.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Of course I would! I don't care who the man is,if he is taking advantage of the child, he should go to jail. There are plenty of women who would freely sleep with these men that they don't need to force themselves on their child or anyone else's child for that matter. It is a sick individual that will do this to their child or stepchild. I hope that he rots in jail and is put into a cell with a person who hates child abusers.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
24 Dec 08
I don't think she wanted to hurt her mother so that's why she waited so long. We don't know if her mother knew and maybe she asked her daughter not to press charges. Or maybe her mother didn't believe her. What ever the reason, she did the right thing for who knows if he's abusing some other child. No child deserves to be abused in any way. Yes I would report my father in a heart beat if he had sexually abused me. Hell yeah! In a heart beat! Now maybe this gal can find closure to her horrible nightmare!
1 person likes this
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
I guess, she gained atleast peace of mind. Clearly, she did not want to devastate her mother's feelings. The psychological implication of abuses like rape is deeply rooted to the point that it affects your psyche and your self-perception. She gained a self-redemption long lost when she was still eleven (more than three decades of her life -- almost more than half of her life).
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
26 Dec 08
Interesting article. I think it's non-sense for somebody not to report the crime just because they don't wanna break the family. If this happens to me, the main reason why I probably wouldn't report it is because of the humiliation and the mock you will get from anybody else. People will sympathize you and at the same time others will mock you especially the men. It would be very difficult to do such a thing and if I am that person who got raped by my father it would take me some time to report it but not as long as it took in this article. Could be after 2-5 years of abuse. The mother should have played good role in this. She should have seen this happening even if she doesn't about it. A lot of changes will happen if a child is under abuse. What's worse is when the mother found out about this she didn't do anything but sleep beside her daughter! How pitiful! I feel sad and angry for this lady. Tsk tsk...
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
24 Dec 08
It has nothing to do with what she has to gain for reporting her father after all these years. The point is he committed an unspeakable crime and deserves to do time for it. By the way, if my father raped me you better believe I'd report him. He must not love me very much to have done that to me and you can bet my feelings for my father wouldn't be so kind either. Plus, he committed a crime. He deserves to pay for his crime. You ask how she benefited after all these years. Ask any rape victim that question. The very fact that the rapist is behind bars and not free to commit the crime again and again leaves the person who was raped feeling a lot safer. Even if he stopped the abuse when she was 13 it was very healing for her to know that her abuser is paying for his crime. It lets her know on a psychological level that there is justice in the world. We all need to know that no matter what crime was committed. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
1 person likes this
@devref (240)
28 Jan 09
why not rape is rape at the end of the day no matter how long ago it took place if you can porve that facts then yes.why should a father get away with it?is he less culpable no in my mind he is more culpable.are we not meant to love and cherish our children not make love to and abuse them.i also think he got away very light in sentence 5yrs of abuse/rape must equate to at least 3/4 times per year so for approx 20 rapes he gets 11yrs thats less than 7months per incident. i said on another thread somewhere that as far as i am concerned if you get convicted of rape it should be a whole life sentence.but this guy with 11yrs will be out in approx 7or8 so it only works out in real terms at around 10 weeks per incident is that enough in my opinion no
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
24 Dec 08
I'm not sure what I would have done if I was in her situation. It's hard to say unless I have been there. It would be very difficult to turn him in and hurt the mother but I feel she had to suspect something if it had occurred for many years. It's good that she is finally dealing with it and moving on with her life.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Dec 08
I have to think what I would have done in the circumstances, if my father was such a monster as this man, threatening that if I reported him it would be my fault that my family broke up, that I would put my own mother in an early grave- the usual blackmail these monsters use. I am sure that those who said they would were not in the circumstances of this poor girl who was literally afraid of reporting the rapes. It is easy to say that you will, when you look at this from afar. And I was wondering why no one figured out that something was dreadfully wrong. I would have reported it, but would maybe give the idea that my father was physically abusing me, because then there would have been no shame attributed to me. After all, people are willing to help a little girl whose father is beating her up, but there are some sickos who think a little girl who is raped is just a tease leading him on.
@bunmi2501 (465)
• Nigeria
24 Dec 08
this is so horrible, why would a father do that to a kid, that is so evil minded, of course he should be reported, or why should he not be?
• India
24 Dec 08
Yes, I would! Absolutely no question about it! This horrible man sexually abused him minor daughter and he should get away with it?? Absolutely not! He is no father, and he should pay for what he has done. Cheers and happy Mylotting
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
24 Dec 08
As much as it would pain me, I would report him in a heartbeat. How could I allow anyone, no matter how much I loved them, hurt someone and not try to make it right? If it were me, or anyone else, I certainly would.