Would you have made the call?

@lilybug (21145)
United States
December 27, 2008 6:20pm CST
My son does not really talk to his father much, but on Christmas he was hurt his dad did not even call him. He told me he wanted his dad to know that he was hurt, but he did not want to talk to him. He asked me to call him and tell him that. I did and I told him exactly what my son wanted me to. Would you have made the call?
2 people like this
13 responses
@singlemommy (2952)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yes, I believe I would have made the call. My son doesn't know his father, but if he wanted me to make a call to him and let his father know what he is feeling, etc I would do it. I know my daughter is always telling me how she feels about stuff when it comes to her dad and I always tell him unless she tells me it is something that she doesn't want me to talk to her dad about then I don't. I feel like the wishes of our children are what we should do. Especially if it is something that they aren't comfortable talking to the other parent about and the feel more comfortable having someone else talk to them for them. I think you did the right thing and made the right call. Not trying to be nosey, but did his father feel bad that he had hurt his son?
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I honestly don't think it made a difference to him at all. His first words were, "I was going to call, but I had not gotten around to it yet." It was past NOON, and he had not gotten to it yet? Please!
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 08
That is terrible. Does he have other children besides your son? If so, do you think he felt more tied up with them that he couldn't call your son? If so, that is so irrational and irresponsible on his part. Frankly, it's cruel. I hate to hear that he would do this to your son.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
He has 4 other kids, but he does not live with any of them. The rest live out of state. I was in St. Louis on Christmas and that is where he lives. He did not even bother to call him let alone ask to see him. He was too wrapped up in his B of a wife's family.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 08
For sure! That's a terrible thing to do. My dad is the exact same way. He's not bad but he never talks to us. We visit him in the summers, and once in a blue moon chat with him on yahoo. He didn't call us this year. I feel neglected because he has his own family in Illinois and doesn't even bother with us. It's a terrible feeling, and it's unfair to the kids to feel so terrible. The dad needs to suffer too, in some way. Or maybe he doesn't know how bad it hurts him, so it's good to make him aware.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Sorry to hear your dad is a jerk too. My son's dad was a good for nothing before he married his current wife, so not much changed when he got a new family.
@spalladino (17921)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yes, I would have made the call. Your son's feelings are important and if you had brushed his request off or made excuses why you couldn't do it, your son's hurt feelings would not have been vindicated. It's important to know that someone cares and to let someone who should care know that he hurt you. Self esteem is very important and, while your son's father put a dent in his, you making that call helped to repair it. Good for you!
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
His dad never calls him on Christmas, but this year I guess it got to him because his little sister was spending the whole day the day after Christmas with her dad.
@lisa0502 (1726)
• Canada
28 Dec 08
Yes I would have to say that I would have done the same thing. I think that it is important for kids to be able to let the person that hurt them know in one way or another.
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I think he was afraid he was going to cry if he called him himself. Poor kid. This is the 6th year in a row his dad has not called him or seen him or gotten him a gift on Christmas.
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yes....I would have and have done it.....and wasn't nice about it either. So many times my kids dad would promise to pick them up and suddenly he was too busy or running late. They should be told how much it hurts the kids to let them down..
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
This type of dad drives me crazy. He makes me want to smack him, but as much as it hurts my son that his dad is not around I think it is actually better for him. His dad is a jerk.
@irishidid (8716)
• United States
28 Dec 08
You did the right thing. My kids don't even ask as they've come to expect nothing when it comes to their father other than the lies he tells.
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
His dad is full of nothing but lies as well.
@sudalunts (5526)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I certainly would have made the call, I would also have my son talk to him so that he could hear the heat in his voice. I went through that with my son when he was younger. His father just stopped calling and visiting, this went on for quite a few years. Eventually, my son got the hint and stopped mentioning it. I hope your son's father realizes how much your son was hurt. After all he is the adult, not your son, and he should have had more consideration for him on Christmas Day. I hope your son is over it. By the way, what was his excuse for not calling?
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
My son was very insistent that he did not want to talk to him.
@jmp_72 (246)
• Seychelles
28 Dec 08
You made the right thing. Your son wanted you to do it, it shows that he somehow misses his dad no matter what. Maybe he didn't want to make the call because he was hurt. I hope this makes his dad realises that his son needs him and hopefully the two will spend time together sometimes.
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Sadly, I don't think the call really made a difference to his dad at all.
@lovesummer (1162)
• Malaysia
28 Dec 08
YES!! One way to let him know that his son is upset of him and let him compensate it.
@gemini_rose (16257)
28 Dec 08
Yeah too right I would and I would probably not have been very polite either. I really hate reading and hearing these sad stories of parents doing this to their kids over christmas, I mean what gives it does not hurt to make just a few minutes phone call to someone who is supposed to be special.
28 Dec 08
yes, i would have made the call, because i think someone who neglects their children should not deserve to be a father at all.
• United Arab Emirates
28 Dec 08
The sad thing about relationships, things are not always what they seem like. I think the son in question actually wanted contact with his father, else, he wouldn't have been hurt by him not calling in the first place. Would I have made the call you did, perhaps I would, but not to tell him what I thought he wanted to hear.
• India
28 Dec 08
i guess so . well reason being when two people want to talk , and none of them can be the first one, then there has to be a mediator, who'd help in doing that.. so yes i would make the call..