Im going to quit answering some

@bunnybon7 (43294)
Holiday, Florida
December 27, 2008 7:00pm CST
Im going to quit answering some peoples discussions. i've noticed that some of my friends put out 7 or 8 discussions a day sometimes and i answer 2 or 3 sometimes. yet when i put a discussion down some of them just never respond. so, here is what i think they've done is not put mine on "notify". i think i will do it like this. as soon as someone answers one of mine, i will immediately go find one of theirs to answer. right after i reply. so, im taking them all off notice except a very few that answer/respond to every one of mine. i even have 2 friends (mentioning no names here) that have not responded to any of my discussions for months and i've responded to many of theirs. its just like how you feel when you talk to friends and they never answer you?anyway, im not quiting just not doing as much here.
19 people like this
35 responses
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
28 Dec 08
I can sympathize with your posting. I too get frustrated with those that start many discussions yet don't seem to respond to many others. I'm a relative newbie to Mylot however, there is one question in regards to your posting that I would like to ask? And it is this, why is there an expectation that if I add you as a friend I have to respond to your discussions that you start? I understand that adding friends is a great way to network and bring more people to your discussion. However, I do not post a response to every discussion a friend of mine starts. I will only post a response if the topic interests me or if I have something to contribute. I will definitely make an effort to respond to those on my friends list first, but if none of those discussions interests me I may start my own, but I am more likely to respond to others in my interests section. I understand being frustrated by somebody never responding to your posts, as I do think that is disrespectful if you're consistently responding to them yet they never respond to you. On the other hand, I don't want the expectation of others on Mylot to be that if I add to you as a friend I will respond to ALL of a friend's discussion list because I will not. I will only respond if I feel I have something of importance to say. I will not post a one liner as this is another of my pet peeves here on Mylot. That's just my 2ยข worth. Happy Mylotting!
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
yes, thats exactly what i was trying to say. i just dont say it as elegantly as you have. i sure dont expect every friend to respond to every discussion of mine. just as i dont respond to every one of theirs. i do try tho to respond to at least one of theirs a month if they are responding to mine so much. i also understand that sometimes people are away. as i was for a week while moving.
2 people like this
@doddee (53)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I signed up with Mylot a while back but I am just now getting into it. I plan to be active but right now the holidays have my time limited so I'm slow at commenting. Even when Mylot has my full attention I won't be responding to discussions unless I have something to contribute or important to say. I only have a few friends here so far but I will be adding more friends as I go. I'd love to add you as a friend and I'll do my best to respond to your discussions. Happy Mylotting to you too.
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Dec 08
i dont expect any of my freinds to respond to every discussion. i dont respond to every one of theirs. but if i get responses from a friend, i try to respond at least to one of theirs not all theirs, if that makes any sense
@Rosekitty (19396)
• San Marcos, Texas
28 Dec 08
Bunny..don't stop on mine..I try to post to all of yopurs but sometimes this stupid computer freezes on me and then i have to go watch tv.... I understand what you mean.i think the same way sometimes but am not going to let it get to me since i plan on doing everything right this year.. and that means blowing rasberries at everyone..lol.. huggs
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
oh that is so cute right back. your one of my favorite friends. no, i dont expect you or anyone to answer all of mine. i just feel like some friends never answer any. even when i know its something they are interested in and i have answered many of theirs. also, im starting to wonder if they got my notify turned off and forgot to turn back on.im just turning a few notify's off. not yours.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 08
i think some people have been really distracted with the holidays lately.. i know i used to be great about responding but then the holidays and some personal problems and my mom having cancer again kind of threw me for a loop to where i couldnt think of anything to respond to anyone.. i could think of things to post but couldnt think of anything good to say back.. yeah some people just never answer back or put anyone on notify but some i have noticed will be faithful and regular in answering then stop for a month or so then start up again.. so maybe they will come around.. and if im one of them well im just trying to keep myself from going insane by not letting myself think too hard about anything
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
oh and i forgot to add that people that post a lot know that there is no way every one can answer each one and they dont expect you to.. some people just post about things i have no idea about so i cant reply.. and i know that i post a lot and people dont have the time to reply to all of mine which doesnt bother me..
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 08
thanks.. i swear i feel like im just going through the motions of life right now in a daze since this whole year has been one thing after another.. which sucks because i havent kept up with my friends from everywhere because my mind is elsewhere
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Moonlit, I'm really sorry about your Mom and her Cancer struggle and equally sorry for your struggle because of her illness. I will say a prayer for you both. Do what you need to do and nothing more. If it's too much for you to deal with mylot right now, give yourself a break. If it helps to be herre with friends honey, then let us help you through this. But whatever you do, don't stress yourself over others feelings. You have enough to deal with. Hang in there Sweetie, and I hope your Mom pulls through this. leenie
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
28 Dec 08
I do understand what you mean. I tried to have notifications on but I got too many emails and could not cope with them. I check discussions my friends start but even then I cannot answer them all. There are so many friends on my list and I struggle to answer 20 discussions a day. I am not well and that is as many as I can manage so there will always be discussions that I cannot get to a and some get lost in the process. It can take me a week or more to find discussions sometimes but I still try to answer them.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
28 Dec 08
Because you have so many friends, it is understandable that you can not cope with all the discussion from your friends. As long you do your best, I think It should not be any issue.
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
29 Dec 08
I do my best to answer as many as I can and sometimes I am a week late but I try and answer all the ones that I can.
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
with some of my friends, 2 weeks late would be good just answering 1. i understand that a lot of people just cant cope with all but why start 3 or 4 or more discussion a day and never once answer someone that answers a lot of your? (not meaning you, just some mylotters in general)
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
28 Dec 08
You might check and see if you are posting subjects that these friend's post responses too. I know I have friends who are always posting about wrestling, or soap operas or things I have no interest in. I hope that you have some satisfaction from your choices. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
the only ones i kind of dont usually post to are about different pay sites, etc.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Oh, yeah, those, don't do those either. But I don't know about a subject, I don't respond. I try to respond to all my friends that post when they post about a subject I know something about.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
28 Dec 08
ha ha ha ha ha ..... your nice ranting, bunnybon7. When I was on 1 - 500 no. of postings, felt very upset like what you feel it now. That's good, actually. At least they heard your friendship call specifically on "inter-respond-friend-to-friend" discussions. Last time I heard "Grandpa Bob" also pushed his limit of patience towards his friends responding attitude to his posted new discussion. Almost want to restart his friend's list. What happened next?. Most of his friends roamed to his discussion and seeking some sort of apologetical responses. OK - do as you wish for your own decision making. Yeah...undeniable statement for having the same hair color but very different at heart. Hopes your crying heard by your friends. In anyway, many accountable reasons for their absence in your class of discussions. "Little Bit Little Do, Once Missed Got To Redo".
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
well of course. its like i said, i was absent myself for a week, but i know all my friends arent absent all the time? or maybe im just dull. yes i guess im the biggest complainer on friends list.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
28 Dec 08
outch!!!
28 Dec 08
Hi bunnybon7, I have not done a disscusion for a long time but I have been responding to all of my friends disscussions including yours and I know what you mean, when I do discussions I don't get many resposes and most my frriends don't seem to respond to it, I would about 27 the most and I have over 200 friends. Hugs. Tamara
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
i know i think you've responded to all mine. sorry i havent responded to all yours or ALL of any friends. i try to respond to one of each of my friends each week at least.
• Australia
28 Dec 08
I have all my notifys off, I can't deal with the huge load of emails. Instead I scroll through Friends started as my first priority. As for those who don't reply to my discussions, or those who rarely start discussions I can get interested in, I remove them from my friends list. In fact my list is just about due to be culled, I'll do that tomorrow. If you are not starting discussions that interest them enough to comment, then they possibly have little in common with you, and you can justify deleting them. Lash
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
ok, again, the problem is they have the same interests and answer ones similar
@SomeCowgirl (32255)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I know that I myself don't have friends discussions on notify. I just don't check my email enough to go through everyone's, but I do try to visit the discussions my friend's started page, and I try to do as much as I can to respond to them. Sometimes I respond more then other times. I do have friends that never answer me but then again I never answer them either, so we're even in that. I think taking them off is the best thing to do for now, it will help ease your inbox I am sure and I also think that it will help you weave through discussions.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Dec 08
im sure it will help when i take the notifiers off.i think thats what others are doing anyway.
• United States
28 Dec 08
I've had a glitch with my notifications for over 6 months now. All my notify's are on but I never get any e-mails when my friends start discussions. I've written to myLot several times and never gotten an answer or the glitch fixed. So I miss a lot of good discussions from my friends. It's frustrating but not much I can do about it except keep writing to them about it. From what I hear a lot of others are having the same problem so although I'm not alone in my frustration it doesn't really help!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Dec 08
i know. doesnt it just get you when people point out they are just having problems also and they act like it shouldnt bother therefore?
@Chevee (5914)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Hey, I am here. I will answer, I have you on notify. . I understand how you feel. I was feeling the same way until I thought about it. I respond to their discussions and I get paid for it. And I leave it at that. Half of the time I don't even go to my email I come straight to the site and answer from their. I don't like answering from the emails. I do have some of my friends on notify and you are one of them. I reach payout so I don't worry about the ones that don't answer. I will go and check the friends in my friend section and if they haven't been active in a month or so I will delete them. Just keep on responding and get paid or points for it.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
i never really thought of it that way. i guess i just look at mylot more as friends talking together.
• Philippines
28 Dec 08
well i guess most of the members do the same thing...some just wont respond or put the notify off because they receive too much notifications..i turned mine off to all of the members i have on my friends list for a reason..my inbox is so suffocated already and i haven't got much time to check on it and check on mylot due to loads of things to do specially at work..i got less time to check so i just go to friends started discussion and from there i answer one by one on which my time can only accumulate..some people are just so busy and some i think don't have much things to input in a certain discussion, so rather to go out of way with the discussion they just wont respond.. as for me, that's what i do, i don't answer if i know little of the discussion..i don't go after the pennies..i would rather know what to say than go out of the discussion
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
that makes sense. its not really the pennies as you say. its communication with me.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Hi bunny! I know exactly how you feel! I have already done the same thing in a few cases and I don't even think that the people even noticed that I don't bother answering their discussions! So it's no big deal. But, in some cases the notifys just don't work right. I have had some people tell me that their notifys are on and they don't get my notifys and I don't get theirs. I don't know! I pretty much get the same ones all the time. I have 300 people on my friends list and I obviously don't get that many notifys or I would never be able to open my emails!lol I have to go through my friends list and do some cleaning out because some are no longer here and others are just not really "friends". So I agree with you completely!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
i didnt realise that the notify's sometimes dont work.hhhmmm. maybe im not that uninteresting anyway, 1 time you was the only one that answered one of mine and i havent seen one of your discussions in a while. i better go look. sorry.
1 person likes this
@Arkie69 (2156)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I have you on my friends list and the notify is on. Being a man some of the women post things I wouldn't talk about. I have replied to several of yours that were just general information. I know you have replied to some of mine too. You just hang in there and it will all balance out in the end. I can sure understand why you are upset though. Art
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
oh yes Arkie your a very good friend. thanks.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Hi bunny, Here is what I've started doing when I'm overwhelmed with all the posts that show up on my email. some people, I don't know how they do it, but they post several to many discussions a day. I can't answer every single post, so I pick one and answer it. That way, I have a chance to maybe answer at least one of all my friends discussions. I don't post many discussions because it's a lot of work to answer each and every response. Once I do that then I don't have a lot of time to answer other's discussions. That's the only way I know to be fair. Also, sometimes I don't find a discussion that interests me. I look but don't always find one. If you find people that never answer any of your posts, then turn them off. Simple as that. leenie
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
thats what im starting to do. your a good friend girl
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Thanks bunny, you're a good friend too. leenie
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Thanks for the Best Response bunny. Looks like you got a lot of responses on this one. Just remember, those that don't put out an effort for you, don't deserve your effort. Happey New Year Sweetie!! leenie
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yes they also do that to me as well, it is like why haven't you responed to my disussion and I will but have not been on. But I always do. I just think it is rude sometimes. I mean if you don't respond to everyone fine but none. Come on now that is just rude. I totaly agree with you. I wish you luck with it. Your friend onlydia
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
yes you'd think they'd respond now and then
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
30 Dec 08
I still do respond as today I posted three. So we will see who responds and who doesn't. But then maybe they are busy. As some have alot of friends. I'm not even getting some of my friends in my email when they post and have then all turned on. So I don't know why unless they have mine turned off and then I don't get them. I have been going and checking to see if my friends have started one and now let them know that I'm not getting a email that they have started one. So maybe that is it. Your friend onlydia. I will alway's try my best to respond to yours.
@Idlewild (6094)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Yes, some "friends" are good at posting discussions but not so good at reading and replying to those of their friends. It's not a bad idea to concentrate your efforts on those friends who really do take the time to comment on the discussions you start.
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
yes idle i think i havent seen or posted on one of yours
1 person likes this
@Idlewild (6094)
• United States
30 Dec 08
I usually don't start discussions because most of them haven't gotten many responses, so I just comment on ones that other people have started. I often can't think of anything to say that hasn't been asked before anyway.
• Philippines
28 Dec 08
hey. how about me? im not even your friend but im responding to you right now. :) just kidding. good luck mylotting.
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Dec 08
wow temujin, i love your avatar. i have Tony Montana on my myspace
• Philippines
30 Dec 08
Really? Then you can "say hello to my little friend!" haha. do you remember that line in the movie? lol.
• India
28 Dec 08
This is a common complaint...I keep hearing it from so many Mylot members. Well...I honestly don't notice whether the people who respond are my friends or not. :) I just respond if I have something to say, and if I have nothing worthwhile to contribute, I just don't respond. :) I hope you won't chuck me out of your list. LOL!! Cheers and happy Mylotting
• India
28 Dec 08
Hi Caram! I respond to PM and personal emails. But Mylot discussions are something different. I don't respond to all the discussions my friends create for a variety of reasons: 1. I am on dial up and my Internet just doesn't work at time. 2. I know nothing about these topics. 3. The topics just don't interest me. 4. I am just not in the mood for Mylotting. There might be many more reasons, but these are the main reasons. I don't respond to all the responses to my discussions because: 1. I am on dial up, and it will take me all day to respond to all the responses. Sometimes, the pages just don't load. 2. I have nothing to say except a smile or a nod; and it would be silly to say "thanks for responding" for everybody. So, I usually respond only if I have something to say. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Dec 08
well thats cool and you do respond to some of mine. not chucking off list , just notify.
@oldboy46 (2132)
• Australia
28 Dec 08
Yes what you are saying makes sense to me. I do not start a lot of discussions and in fact it would be at least a year since I last started one. My reason is simply that sometimes I cannot get here to myLot for weeks or perhaps months and I think it is very rude not to at least read and comment on some of the responses. So until my circumstances change I will not be starting discussions. In general I think that friends should help each other and in this instance that at least means responding to some of their discussions. That is more so when you take the time to respond to discussions that your friends have started. It is simply not possible to respond to each and every discussion that is started by yor friends, but doing so to one or two every month is not unreasonable. If those on your friends list do not like any of your discussions, then why do they keep you as a friend I am wondering? I sometimes think that some people are not really aware of the meaning of friends, whether in the "real" or "cyber" world. I do not respond to every discussion started by anyone on my list of friends, but I do try to do so on a regular basis. Sometimes a friend might start several good discussions that interest me, so I will respond to those ones and perhaps not be able toget to any other discussions at that time. Other times I cannot find any friends' discussions that I can contribute to, i.e. either the topics do not interest me or perhaps what I would say has already been said by others. However I would think that I do respond to at least one discussion from each friend at least once a month. That is providing I am active on mylot for a fair bit of the time during the month. I do not have all the notifications turned on either as I simply could not cope with that many emails. Good luck and I hope that your friends read this and perhaps give some serious thought to the value of friendship and responding to some of your discussions.
@bunnybon7 (43294)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Dec 08
yep, i wish i had thought of this whole way of doing this before. it would have saved me a lot of stress and my constant complaining to.
1 person likes this
@oldboy46 (2132)
• Australia
28 Dec 08
Generally we do things with the best intentions and that is what you have been doing by responding to your friends' discussions. Sadly that has not been reciprocated by some members who are on your friends' list. In the real as well as the cyber world friends help each other or it is not a genuine friendship. i.e. some of those so called friends are almost "users". Do not worry about those ones because you have some other friends who do respond to your discussions.
1 person likes this