Was I insensitive towards my friend?

@ronaldinu (12439)
Malta
January 9, 2009 11:03am CST
My wife gives a lift to one of her colleagues. Her late husband was also a good friend of ours. He passed away after a short illnes around a year and a half ago. He was a really good man. Well my wife's colleagues always teases and we always have a good laugh. Yesterday I said to her to be a good girl as she was leaving our car. My wife told me that I was insensitive towards her colleague. Her friend still misses her late husband. Do you think that I was insensitive?
19 people like this
57 responses
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
9 Jan 09
I certainly don't think you were being insensitive my friend. Life goes on, and I am sure your wife's friend took it in the same light-hearted way that it was meant, and certainly took no umbrage over it. What are you supposed to do with her walk on eggshells? I find that uncomfortable and you said she always teases you and have a good laugh then I am sure she found what you said just as funny! I think you were being the perfect gent my friend!
• United States
10 Jan 09
People tease her about her late husband in front of her?
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
10 Jan 09
No you got it all wrong mate.
• United States
10 Jan 09
Oh, okay. Well I guess I was just confused then. :)
@dragon54u (31647)
• United States
9 Jan 09
I don't see how that was insensitive, you were just teasing her a little and I don't see how that could possibly have hurt her feelings. I think your wife might be a bit oversensitive and perceived your comment as hurtful. Let it go, though, there's nothing to be done about it and perhaps you can ask your wife why she thought it was hurtful so that you won't do it again.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
9 Jan 09
I think she is over sensitive of her friend, she is being over protective.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
10 Jan 09
You were not insensitive.You just joked.But your wife is very sympathetic to her colleague.In anyway she does not want to hurt her colleague.Her remark to you for this reason.I think in future you will be careful to pass any remark about your wife's colleague in presence of her.
@bestboy19 (5481)
• United States
10 Jan 09
That didn't sound insensitive to me. If someone really loved their spouse, they'll probably be missed forever. After a years time, she should be over the hurt.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 09
No I don't. I think your wife over reacted unless she know something about her friend that causes her (your wife) to think/know that the friend is not being a "good girl" and is ashamed and there may take your remark as being sarcastic?!?
1 person likes this
@Masmasika (1921)
• Philippines
10 Jan 09
I don't agree that you are insensitive to your wife's colleague. You were doing what's right to a friend who needs someone to make her laugh. You are the right person beside her. She needs someone to make her laugh and become happy again.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
10 Jan 09
I think you left out several important information on your topic. I mean, what's wrong with the statement 'be a good girl' in the first place? It connotes nothing to be considered insensitive about. Perhaps your husband thought that you were trying to tell her to keep her knees closed or something because of such a comment. If it is so, then perhaps you were being insensitive to the thought that she too needs a partner and you're pretty lucky your partner is still around to love you. Anyhow, I don't think your friend was insulted in any way, you'll soon find out though if she starts avoiding you or your husband. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 09
I don't see where you are insensitive here. If it has been me I would say the same thing too. It is a word of kindness and quite a comforting words to a friend. Maybe your wife have something else better to say.
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4646)
• United States
9 Jan 09
I don't think you were being insensitive to her, I don't know what you meant by telling her to be a good girl. My husband always tells me that when he leaves for work in the mornings, I just think its funny. Why does your wife think that its being insensitive to her? Maybe she doesn't like the way you and her colleague laugh and tease each other.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
9 Jan 09
I dun see in anyway u are being insensitive to your wife's colleague.. There's nothing wrong because it's just a normal conversation.. Furthermore, it's been more than one year since her husband pass away.. ON top of that, u are not her, and thus u dun know how she really feels.. IN a way, u are actually ignorant and only making a casual remark, based on friends.. Thus, i dun see anything wrong with it.. maybe your wife is too sensitive instead?
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
9 Jan 09
It was an innocent remark so let it go. Do you have her over at all to visit? That would be a good idea but do not worry about the remark. It is a common thing to say to people. I say it a lot, too.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
10 Jan 09
Sometimes she does. She comes over for a tea or a coffe when my wife is around. They have remained good friends. That's what I told my wife that it was an innocent remark but my wife replied with whom has she to be naughty? You are making her remember her late husband. i guess that different people reason out things differently
• United States
18 Jan 09
I don't think so. There are many ways of being naughty that don't require another person. And since you had just been kidding around with her just before, it wasn't insensitive.
• United States
15 Jan 09
I am not sure how it could be taken wrong. Sounds like it was all in good fun.
@vanities (11401)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Jan 09
hi ronald...i guess you're not...i mean your friend knows that your just teasing her ..no meaning at all..sometimes its good to tease and have fun...
@fec139 (809)
• United States
12 Jan 09
It's been 18 months! If she is still so broken that you can't say something lighthearted, she needs to seek counseling, because nobody is going to want to be around her if they have to walk on eggshells and watch every little thing they say.
@bombshell (11265)
• Germany
11 Jan 09
i gues that was a sign of a caring friend i gues.
@twinklee (894)
• India
11 Jan 09
Hi, I don't think you were in-sensitive. Your wife's friend also seems to be very jovial enough, also you said that you will burst out with laughing with her teases. So nothing wrong my friend. Your wife words shows how she respects her friend's sentiments. Nice of her, but you don't for any reasons imagine and take the issue serious. :) Its all in the game. Teases , laughter, Fights, etc all end up in smooth relations. After all, we get mis understandings with our close and beloved ones very often. So enjoy your life. Take care:)
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
11 Jan 09
In my opinion, no, I don't think you were being insensitive. And I don't think her friend would have taken it offensively. I would take it, if I was the friend, as a good natured good bye. I would not be offended by any means. I think your wife might be the one that took offense, maybe she is being too sensitive. Of course, this is just my opinion my friend. Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend, Have a good mylotting day, Chris
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
11 Jan 09
I don't see how your comment is insensitive, I really don't. Your wife's husband passed away a year and a half ago and I am sure that she is not as sensitive as your wife thinks and more than likely prefers people to be themselves and have normal conversations around her instead of holding back; I know I would.