Why

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I just emailed this to my mother. Okay, my turn to vent. My biggest fear is that something will happen and we would have to close down. After all, this place Barry has always worked for. It's his chance. His dream. Goodness knows I put up with a lot of crap to help make that happen. Wayne came in today. He wanted his pay. Well, there are 5 weeks in this month and he only gets $1000 a month so I pay him 4 times a month. I told Barry this morning that I was not going to pay Wayne today. So, I'm in the bathroom, hurting, dinner disagreed with both of us last night from Arby's. I hear Wayne ask if we have a check for him. Barry hollers for me. I yell that I am in the bathroom. I come out and I glare at Barry cause I am mad cause he has no balls. I tell him again that I told him this morning that we were going to wait to pay Wayne next week and then the final check the final week. Wayne gets all red and looks at me and tells me it's up to me to let him know. He says I generally don't pay him the last week when there are five weeks in a month. I don't know that to be the case. I don't plan which week in advance. Truthfully it depends on how the money is. I just decided to get all the taxes mailed, including the quarterlies this week. He said it wasn't a problem. At this point I was so mad! I told him, I can pay you if you need it this week. He said again, no problem he would just like to know ahead of time. Now, keep in mind, when Barry sets his mind to something up here he will pull the "it's my shop" card. Though psycho man said he was handing it over to US! Yet when his dad says something or does something, apparently it's up to me what to do. Yes, I know it's his dad. I feel like he should have spoken up when his Dad spoke to me in that tone. I feel like he should speak up when his Dad tries to still run the place. I am both mad and hurt. His Dad didn't eat popcorn to make sure Barry had enough to eat when we first moved into our home. I did. When Barry needed me here I came. When I hated being here, he begged me to stay, once again, I did. Why, because he said that he would never get the shop if I left. Well, if Wayne is so freaking great, why am I getting the short end of the stick? So, I was sitting here wondering, what if I decide I've had enough? I started thinking about whom would they get in to run the office? Barry can't do it by himself. Suddenly it dawned on me, I wasn't thinking about what would I do for me but was more concerned about them. I realized I care. That is why I take the crap! I care. Yes, I would like for things to change. No, Wayne isn't going to change. He doesn't think he ever does anything wrong. He can rant and rave about how this person did this and that person did that and they shouldn't have. His wife can look at him and tell him how he did the exact same thing and he will say, "well, that's different, it's me." Yes, he says it and what's worse, he believes it. I hear you thinking, change things yourself. How do you change what they refuse to see or admit? Okay, so we realize that I care. I do for the most part like my job. I do, for the most part like working with my husband. I don't expect life to be perfect. I am obnoxiously at times an optimist. I am stubborn, I admit it. It takes a whole lot to make me give up. I have actually done it so don't think I wouldn't. I admit at the moment I am a little shook up to realize that I care as much as I do. I guess we are going to have to dig a bit deeper to find my answers. Thanks for listening. Carolyn