Would you accept or would you not?
By lovesummer
@lovesummer (1162)
Malaysia
January 22, 2009 9:37am CST
In such a situation where you met a girl/guy that you seemed to click and like each other but you were not sure if you want a relationship. This guy/girl is having a very disastrous disease like for example says she/he has some malignant tumor ( cancer in dangerous stage)she/he could be gone anytime soon and her/his previous life-partner left her/him because of this disease. And she/he asks for a relationship with you, she/he was so hurt and weak. you were sympathetic, you love him/her, though you were not sure, well would you accept her/his as a girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse? and says it won't change no matter what happens? even if you met someone you really love later on? (the promise).
Disclaimer: This situation has never happened to me but I see it happening on someone else.
Say what would you think. what if you met someone else later on if you've accepted her/him! would you leave her and go with the someone else? would you stay with him/her like promised? would you stay with him/her at the same time keeping the other person?? omg this is kinda complicated. Give me ya piece of mind!:) cheers
Happy Mylotting!
4 people like this
12 responses
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
It really depends on the degree of how much likeness or love I have feel for him. If it something that I like him to be my husband, then I will accept him whatever or whoever he is. A desease or whatever reasons will never be enough for me to continue having a relationship with him.
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I would be honest with him. I would tell him I care about him as a friend, but didn't want to be in a relationship at all; not just with him but with anyone. But I would make it a point to let him know that I would be there for him in anyway he needed me to be.
1 person likes this
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
28 Jan 09
It really depends. If I met the man and we were in a good relationship and he tells me he is dying I would stay with him. If it was a bad relationship or just beginning the relationship I do not know what I would do. I could not stay with someone out of sympathy because I have to be happy too. If I am not happy, I can not make someone else happy! It only is sensible. I have to care about the person first.
@snowy22315 (169889)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I think you should not get involved in a relationship with someone who has avery serious problem unless you are really sure that you want one. The potential for hurt and disaster is very high on both sides. I just think that relationships where both people are sure what they want are hard enough.
1 person likes this
@nzalheart (2338)
• India
23 Jan 09
I should give her the chance to live the full life in her remaining life. That's what the necessary thing to do. Someone who you love is needing you excessively at the moment and there is no other way to leave her alone to die. That will even hurt her soul to leave her in the situation.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Jan 09
If I met someone and we hit it off I would stick by him in his disease. It would be hard but if you love someone no matter how recent the relationship is you stick by them. Or at least I would. I would try to make their last days good ones.
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I suppose if it was terminal some might hesitate to get too emotionally involved. But, if its not terminal I don't see why someone can't over look that. And, I can relate to that view. You see I was married 20 years when I became ill and became disabled. I had to quit working. My husband (now my ex) told me I was "no longer useful" since I couldn't work, and he walked out on me. Apparently he forgot that vow of "in sickness and in health." But, a couple of years later I met my current guy. He knew right from the beginning I couldn't work, had multiple health problems and am disabled. He didn't care, he loves me for me. We've been together almost 9 years now too.
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
23 Jan 09
It really depends on what part of the cycle of life you are in and how long you have been in the relationship. I also depends on the disease.
If the disease was catching like AIDS and I just met them they would be history fast. I have no intention of wasting away from a disease I could have avoided. I have enough health problems without adding to them.
If I was young and this person was going to linger for years and I wanted a life they would be history. Sometimes healthy people break up and I believe the studies are if one partner gets sick, the divorce rate doubles, so that says something.
If it was a life long partner it is a no brainer that you are connected to them and would see the illness to its conclusion [unless of course the person was a SOB and you already hated them]. Even as I am older now I cannot expect someone I meet to be in pristine health as I am not in good health either. I suppose if I was in good health and travel and do sports, I would want someone who could do that with me.
@theweerouss (982)
• United States
23 Jan 09
as the girlfriend of a cancer survivor, i say yes, i would be with/stay with that person. i know that that is not the solution for every person, but if having that person in your life makes you happy, and makes them happy, then there is no reason to miss out on what you could share. as for the second part to your question, i'm not sure i would leave who i was with for another person. i believe in loyalty to the one you're with, for better or for worse. that does not mean staying with someone who is sick simply out of pity. i just mean not leaving because the grass is greener somewhere else.
plain and simple - if someone makes you happy and you love them, be with them. if they do not make you happy and you do not love them, do not stay with them just because you feel badly leaving. however, if you still love the person, but just find someone else appealing, don't leave for that someone else. it isn't worth the pain you cause or will inevitably feel later.
@Tinna_He (300)
• China
23 Jan 09
Take my colleague for example.my colleague is a girl.her boyfriend and she stay together for eight years.Their parents are accepted each other.so they married on november,2007.every thing was going well until they got a laboratory report.it was said her boyfried has chronic disease and they won't have a baby.my colleague treasure their relationship.But her parents said they would go to die if they won't divorce.So they chose to divorce on april,2008.Before ,she asked me how can she do.In fact, i don't know how to say.If it happened to me,how can i do?i think i will take care of my husband.
@Ann_margaret22 (80)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
OMG! this is a quite hard situation huh, but there is a simple approach:first, if you already made a promise, then do as what you promised to that particular person,no matter what except if s/he is the one who told you not to do it anymore. 2nd take one step at a time those are the possibilities that you will find other person to love, but its not happening at the moment , maybe in near future, so dont focus on that nor think of that, live your life by day and take one step at a time ;) so that you will not be confused, your makin it hard for yourself you know. ^-^ so just sit back and relax, and enjoy the moment with that person..
