will you allow someone to change the real YOU?
@kenchiprincess (5296)
Philippines
January 23, 2009 5:52am CST
I am wondering, how many would allow someone to dictate to change themselves, may it be by your parents, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. I have been a witness of this and at one time i was about to be a victim of it. Boyfriend or girlfriend would tell his or her partner to change just to satisfy and make you the person that they have really wanted or what they think of ideal in their own set of standards. Change could be physical, behavioral, attitude or it could be your character, which means changing the person that is YOU.
There is nothing wrong with change especially if it is for my own good but being dictated to change just to satisfy what is expected of you by someone, would be unfair in my part since it takes away your own identity making you into someone else.
What do you think? Will you allow this to happen with you? Please share.
5 responses
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I think change can be positive. If what our significant others ask of us to do is something worth doing then why not give it a shot! After all, they only want what's best for us.
1 person likes this
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
Thanks for sharing you thoughts. I too would go for change that would bing out the best in me but what if you are being dictated on what to do that changing you to someone that is totally not you? Like taking out your identity? will you still allow that? 
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
23 Jan 09
it would be hard to change a person completely. Some of our behaviors are innate and can't be changed overnight. Besides, I have my own mind. I accept views which I think are constructive and will not allow my identity to be lost.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Actually, No.. I am irritated when someone dictate me of what to do.I want someone who can accept me of who I am, what I am and so on... Well, I am frustrated when people tells me what to do all the time in order that I will fit in to their standards. It helps me better to change my own self when they will accept and understand me then maybe give an advice in a cool manner. In a way that I should understand how to place myself in a better position. I would appreciate it a lot and maybe it would help me change. If they are too demanding? it will make me more stubborn. hahahaha..
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
24 Jan 09
You know what friend, I can see myself in you with this. I too become stubborn if I feel i am being in control or people would demand something of me instead of talking me out of it where I can see the light in the end of the tunnel. LOL. Thanks for sharing my friend and for always being so supportive of me in mylot and the other sites that we both are in.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Well i have had this done to me actually from someone online... Don't know why i did this but i did.. I guess i really liked the person and wanted to show him a different me.. However after thinking about this a few months later I thought to myself this isn't me and why am i doing this.. So when i stopped me what he wanted me to be he was upset and totally a different person, rude, and started lying about things.. Sometimes people do things to make others happy but forget, that they should be making each other happy.. For a person to try and change someone is WRONG no matter what.. A person is there own person rather it's husband and or wife girl friend and boyfriend.. I have to admit though if someone don't like me for me than they aren't worth my time.. That is something I learned from just this past experience!
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
24 Jan 09
I have to agree with what you have said that if A person don't like me as I am, they are not worthy of my time. That is how I see things as well. No one has the right to change me unless the willingness comes from within. Some people would tend to set standards of whom they should be friends or love with but when this set standards fail they tend to fall out. this is what we call conditional acceptance and this is a very tiring kind of relationship to build with. thanks for sharing.
@ifa225 (14468)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 09
Well, if that person is someone i loved and i know, i think i will be voluntary to change my self.especially if that is good for me...
@Patzi_md (129)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
Change is constant. They are the ones who see you, and sometimes they want you to change for the better. But you also have to recognize if that would benefit you or not. If they change you just because they want you to be someone else and to fit their standards then it's okay not to obey them.
