And this is the world I brought them into... ... ...

@gemini_rose (16192)
January 23, 2009 11:17am CST
Do you want to know something? If 18 years ago I knew then what the world I lived in would be like now I would never had children. I am 35, when I was a teenager I could go where I wanted with no trouble and there were not half as many worries for a teenager or child as there are today.There was none of this fighting with weapons it was all fists, and it was never a gang onto one it was always one on one. Even when I go out today with friends to pubs or clubs I worry that I am going to be attacked, I dare not look at anyone wrong in case I cause offence, its horrible. My son went out the other night with his mate, my son is 17 his mate 16, they went to see some friends in another town. A gang of lads found out they were there and did not like it that my son and his friend were getting friendly with some girls and so attacked them with baseball bats, knives and a spanner. My son was chased by a lad with a knife, his friend was attacked with a spanner and hit around the head five times. Luckily no damage was done and they left the area intact, but you know when they told me what had happened my a*se twitched because THAT could have been so much worse. Now I am not starting this discussion to have people say phone the police or go and sort the lads out because this is a situation that is not solved with police or face to face, these are boys that carry weapons and are not frightened to use them because they know that even if they wound they will not serve long in prison. Probably a couple of years if that. What occurs to me, is that I have three other children younger than my eldest and I have to wonder what is the world going to be like by the time they get to 17? Are they going to be able to walk the streets safely, the way it is going, I dont think so. SOmetimes when I hear the news, read the papers I feel so sad for my children, I just wonder what I have done by bringing them into a world that seems to be just set on self destruct. I often say to my hubby that I am so glad I am not a child today, that my childhood was yesterday because nothing is the same anymore. Do any of you with children have these problems and worries of gangs of kids in the streets that are armed? Do you feel that there is more to worry about for them than when you were kids? Do you worry for the future of your country or the world in general? I worry everytime my eldest decides he is going out.
2 people like this
11 responses
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
24 Jan 09
When I was a sixteen year old kid, there was a song called, t The Times They are a Changing. My life was incredibly different to that of my parents and my kids life was different again to mine. People will always have children without even a vestige of concern about the state of the world their kids will be growing up in. I now believe protecting children starts at home; they must be kept close and taught. The way to teach them is to show them. And what you are up against is the fact that hardly any one else will be doing that. bout my grandchildren and I even worry about my younger daughter It all seems too hard these days. Kids get everything they ask for, they backchat their parents...it seems there is no discipline, too much freedom and too much money. I worry about my grandchildren and I even worry about my younger daughter and consequently her children. They don't live with violence in their lives but that can change in an instant when they are away from home. Tragedies and accidents can happen in a split second and people are so not prepared these days.
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
Hiya!! Really sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I wonder if as a child I never noticed the state of the world, maybe it has always been bad, but then I think how protective my parents were of me and know that it cannot have been that bad or else I would never had as much freedom as I did do!! But I do think it is different from when I was a kid I really do.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
31 Jan 09
I'm just watching Helter Skelter on TV. The man Charles Manson I believe is evil. The Tate murder was committed in 1969...when I was 17...I was unaware that the events surrounding the murder were occurring. There are some really bad things that happen in the world...we never know when we or those we love will be touched. We need to lead good lives, teach our kids right from wrong and to keep each other safe.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
24 Jan 09
A friend of mine's son was stabbed last year just because he was walking along a street after dark. However, I am a little older than you and can assure you that there never has a been a good time to bring children into the world. When I was young it was Hells Angels, or Mods and Rockers. My local sleepy country town used to have gang fights every saturday night, many of the fighters were "tooled" up as well. What there was though, was a sense of community and belonging still. If other gangs came into town the local boys joined forces and fought them. Personally I found the whole thing bizarre and pointless. But I can see that over the past 30 years we have lost that sense of community. We have been encouraged to think only of ourselves and the result of that is the type of society that we have today. Bizarrely I think that the availability of credit has something to do with it. We have been told that we "need" material things now. Things that we can't afford, and have then been fed the finance. Just as the loan is paid off a new and improved model of whatever is released and away we go again. This breeds a sense of competition in us and makes those that can't have very jealous of those that can. This boils down to the labels of the clothes on our backs and the make of phone in our (well not mine) pockets. I might not have explained myself very well, but I agree with you, but I don't think that it's a new phenomenon for a mother (or father) to feel that way. As an aside the chap that cuts my dad's hair had a reputation in his teens of being someone who liked a fight. Now he's a very respectable business man with several hair salons and barber shops.
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
I am sorry for not getting back to you sooner than this. I agree with you, I perhaps see it as being different as a child because I never had to think or know about the bad things that went on. I agree that the sense of community has changed too in fact I agree with all the points that you make, and I think that now as a parent I just worry more than I did before I had children!!
• India
24 Jan 09
hello mam this is sandy and i really appreciate that you really care about your children's but it is worthless to do so because you are going in wrong direction as you thikin that you have done wrong thing by bringing your children to this brutal world and you are also saying that the world is far better at your time than you are wrong because the condition were same at that time too,the only thing different is atmosphere provided by your parents that you are not providing to your children so just do that or if you are noy able to do so then make your children to protect themselves and there loveone ,you could provide your children some sort of defence fighting training like karate so that they become self dependent and for your information i tell you that world is not that much bitter than you think ok bye take care of you and your children's
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, you know something certain points you have made here are spot on, thank you.
• United States
23 Jan 09
I am 23 years old and me and my husband decided when we got married we are not going to have any children. He is a comedian and we felt like it would be unfair to me, him and the child. At this point in his career he has to focus alot of time and energy on traveling to different comedy clubs. With that being said I didnt want to be left home alone with a child. Also I worry about the economy and all of the violence in the world today. Its hard to imagine brining another little person into all of this. If I ever decide to have a child it will be through adoption. There are so many children who dont have a home and all they want is someone to love them.
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. What a lovely person you are, adoption is a lovely thing to do for an unwanted child .
@MissAmie (718)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I just finished posting on another discussion about what a shame it is that when I was a child I could go out and play all day and be totally carefree. I just came home to eat and I had to be in the house at dark for dinner. Now I can't even send my daughter outside to play for 15 minutes without worrying about her being abducted or something. It's a sick, sad world.
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
I apologise for not getting back to you sooner, I too as a child would go out of my house in a morning and would not go back until I had to at tea time, I would have my tea, do my jobs and would be out the door again until I had to go in for the evening. I have a child of 8 and I would not want him to be going off out with his mates, I would worry sick.
@ellie333 (21018)
23 Jan 09
Oh Gemini, Being a parent in any time is always a worry over the kids but I do agree these days it is so much worse. I am pleased to hear that your son was safe but saddened to hear that he can't visit another town without this happening. One of the reasons I moved away from my old town was because of the rising crime and to give my kids a chance in life and luckily there is a very low crime rate in the area I live now but saying that my younger daughter was mugged for her mobile a couple of years ago whilst with a friend early evening in the nearest city (9 miles away)and my eldest and her friends were picked on because they were Grammar school kids but a gang, luckily only injuries were a few cuts but it wasn't pleasant for any of them and thankfully no one was carrying weapons, so it is still a worry as no where is totally safe. Huggles. Ellie :D
@gemini_rose (16192)
31 Jan 09
Hi ellie, thanx for responding and sorry not got back before now, I got so busy that I have hardly had time for mylot. Where I live is not a very popular place for younger people, the surrounding towns really dislike people from our town, I had it when I used to go out. Still to this day if I go for a drink in another town I will never shout about where I live!!
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
23 Jan 09
[i]Hi gemini, I can feel for that. I remember my dad and mom everytime I will go out or will have a trip before, even when I was in my 20's already, they have a series of advices because I know that they know it is not safe anymore, people will just attack anyone at any time and for now reason or for silly reasons! I have no kids but this bother me too! Why some parents allow their teens to be like that, to be bad and naughty? where are their parents? a lot of questions will come into my mind and hopefully, like in other Countries, there are curfews for teens as well as officers who will be roaming around the place and check suspicious groups![/i]
@gemini_rose (16192)
23 Jan 09
A lot of the way kids are is the parents although the governments have some part to play in it too. Everytime they change the rules for parents they take some measure of control away. Parents are scared to chastise their children for fear of being punished themselves the rules on it all are divided and so the children run wild.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
23 Jan 09
hows that song go..? dont worry.. or worry but know that worrying is about as affective as solving an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. the line has been stuck in my head since yesterday. yes.. i think things were more easy when i was a kid. but then, so did our parents.. so did their parents. the world changes and everyone on down the line beleives they had it better than the new generation. thing is.. the new generation is living in it, and can handle it the same way we did with the "new" threats that our parents were terrified of that were happening around us. and dont regret bringing yer children into this chaotic world. ya never know.. maybe one of yers, will be someone thatll bring about changes thatll improve it.
@gemini_rose (16192)
23 Jan 09
That is a nice way of looking at it tessah and maybe our children will be responsible for changing the way things are who knows. I hope so, I dont regret them not at all just feel sad that things are so awful for them.
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
2 May 09
And it seems to get worse and worse every day, out there. All we can do is teach our children to have morales and to be very careful out there. We can not protect them every second of the day so they need to learn people skills and they need to learn safety and the only place they can learn these things is at home, not at school, which is sadly, when the problems started for these bad kids, because they didn't get guidense at home. So they end up with the wrong crowd and before long they are just like them. I don't mean to scare you but it is scary out there and we adults can't turn a blind eye to it and have to realize that it is just reality today. I just thank god my kids are adults now and it wasn't quite as bad when they were children. But now I am going to have a grandchild coming in November and I am afraid for her/him but I am sure that my son and daughter-in-law will be teaching their child to stay away from those kinds of people, but it is still scary to bring a child into this world today.
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
24 Jan 09
I am going to be 54 in March and even when I was growing up as a teenager over 35 years ago the world was just as bad. We never walked the streets at night by ourselves, as a young adult I always was afraid to go to clubs because if there was going to be violence that was where it was going to take place. Surely you mom taught you not to talk to strangers when you were a kid? The world as far as I am concerned is not any worse, just different issues prop up. I am so sorry about what happened to your son. My son has ended up in a few scraps as well at night clubs, but he rarely goes out anymore and he is 32. My sister was attached on the street, going to the store to pick up some milk she was only 10, that was 40 years ago. She was okay though, she was more afraid than anything else, the guy took her into his car and when he pulled down her pants, she started to cry and he got scared and let her go.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
24 Jan 09
Yes. I worry about this all of the time too. I have a 17 year old daughter and it scares me when she leaves the house because even our childrens ways of life have changed drasticallly also.