Mylot mystery

If you invited this person to mylot then they should be in your friend list(if they used your referral). I don't find this a problem at all. I wouldn't want someone to send me a PM if they are not in my friends list and this is a rule. We need to abide by the rules. It's simple just add this person as a friend.

Hello humbug25! That's what I thought too. I don't know why we have to be friends with the person to be able to send message to it. Or maybe because mylot only prevented us to receive any spam emails from others.

i have had many glitches in the past but in this case,it might be that she has not yet accepted your friend request and that is the reason ,why you are not able to send the private message.

Hi humbug, in most social networks you are able to send messages to users who are not on your friends list but this is the way that mylot operates. i don;t think that there is an explanation for it. You have to accept how things works here even thought you might disagree with mylot's policy, but yes I do find it annoying too.

hi Humbug, Once your friendship request is accepted you can communicate through private message but until then no, this stop spam PMs in you inbox from the money making guys on this site. I have also noticed that you cannot comment on a posted photo in a discussion unless you are friends with the poster which I do in fact find strange. Huggles. Ellie :D

This keeps us in charge of the correspondence we get. Our boxes would be full of "junk mail" and there would be no way for us to weed that out. Each person is in charge of the kind of comments and messages he/she gets this way. If we get spammed or harassed, we can simply delete that person. If they are not our friend and yet were allowed to send correspondence, we would have no recourse. Have a great day, Humbug!

It is the same with most of the better forums/sites where nobody can send you a pm unless you are friends. It is a protection of sorts against spamming and judging by some of the discussions which are started and are spam, the same could happen with the pm system. Also a couple of forums we know will niot allow anyone to send a pm to anyone other than staff member until they have made so many posts. Plus the number of pm's that can be sent is also limited in the sense that the members can send say 5 pms but only after they have 10 posts but if they want to contact 100 members, their post number must be much higher and also they can only send so many a day. Actually I see merit in it as it is a bit of protection for members. For example I recently had a friend request but as the member only had 1 post, I did not make an immediate decision. Shortly after one of my other friends started a discussion to say he had been spammed by this very same person I had yet to make a decision on. I have no idea what happened to that member or how many other members approved the friendship and were subsequently spammed.

I don't find it annoying, it's safer that way so we don't get spammed I used to chat online and got perverts, scammers, weirdos etc sent me messages so it's a good thing that on mylot only friends can send messages to each other you seem like very nice person you sent me message right after I accepted your request, but not many people are like you so unfortunately we have to take the safe way

I think it is to avoid spamming, other people might just use the opportunity to send their referral links or banners. I just accept all friends' request here eventhough I haven't interact with the person yet and some of them will just add me so that they can send a pm with their links. I think that is more annoying.

I too find this very annoying. I remember when I first started and didn't even have one friend on here. Which I was fine with as I hadn't grasped the friend concept at the time! LOL But then I spotted a cheater on here and wanted to warn a fellow mylotter as the cheater was mainly going after our discussions (more her's than mine). Anyway, I had to request her friendship first and she accepted several hours later. Finally I was able to PM her and warn her of this person. But by the time she read the message she knew about the cheater a few hours beforehand, so I did all that (requested the friendship, waited for it to be approved, and sending the PM) for nothing. I hate the fact that we have to be on someone's friends list just to be able to send them a message. It's just plain stupid to me. Places like myspace and facebook don't require this for people to send messages. So why does mylot require it? It doesn't make any sense to me. Several months ago a I got in contact with another fellow mylotter. But she didn't like the idea of sending PM's and told me about contactify.com. It's a way for people to contact you without posting your email address for everyone to see. After I found out about I got my own and put it up on my profile. This way if someone wants to contact me they can do so and they don't even need to be on my friends list. Here's the link in case you want to create one for yourself: http://contactify.com/ I hope this helped!

It doesn't annoy me at all. If everyone could pm everyone our in boxes would be full. I'm afraid I'd spend more time deleting spam than chatting with my friends and other mylotters. I've been on some social networking sites where you didn't have to be on a friend list to send messages and that's exactly what happened. An in box full of spam.

anytime anyone asks to be my friend after i accept them i always write them a note, i have never tried writing a note to anyone i ask to be my friend till i know i've been approved. i haven't ask anyone to be ny friend in a long time so they may have changed things up.

Hi there! Well I think its because of the spamming. Mylot private message cannot be sent unless both of you are friends. The user must accept your friend request first before you can communicate via PM. It's a feature that mylot has included and I think its right cause there other members who don't like to accept friend request outright. And of course for privacy too. I don't find it annoying at all. I'm just fine with it. Besides this rule about sending PMs has been here for over two (2) years I think. If that's what the rule says, I'll just follow it. Ciao!

Yes i find it very annoying ..very very annoying.. if i want to be your friend then i should be able to write to you and ask you nicely if we can be friends and not like in chat rooms where people add without asking. they should let PM to the members who are not your friends but then it might lead to spamming ur inbox with every member with their referral link..ur take

There are many times I feel that this is a Good security thing that myLot has chosen to do by doing this. Since I have many people requesting to be a Friend all of the time here, and many people coming and going all of the time, I feel the best thing is to let someone decide whether or not to accept you as a friend, or you them, and get to know them before choosing to message them. Sometimes you may loose out by waiting, but I feel it works for the best when you do as well.

I've also noticed you cannot comment on a picture in a discussion unless you are a friend of that person who wrote the discussion. I suppose it might have something to do with spamming a person. It is probably the only way they have of keeping out unwanted notes to people who aren't friends of yours.

That is annoying too, I think that we should be allowed to send private messages to all participating mylot members and the member can view or ignore the messages that they want like if a mylotter dosent want to answer they ignore it if they want. Oh and by the way I'm all done with the Internet provider switch, thank goodness because I was beginning to eat way to much out of shear boredom lol.

I don't know - I've thought about it but I don't now why you couldn't be sweet to a new member. It is just their rules I guess. Blessings

That is part of the reason I don't like a lot of the social networking sites, like myspace and facebook because I don't think you should have to be friends with someone before you say anything to them. Maybe you want to get to know them before you go and befriend them. maybe its a safety thing. In case the person turns out to be a pysco and kills you this way they can back themselves and say well you became friends with them. Who knows why they do these things. It is stupid though.