Deception and Pretending

Same here Riya…its one of the reasons I am withdrawing into my shell more and more these days. One of my pet peeves is the way people now say ‘take care’ as if they really care! I know they don’t, so why just say it?! Isn’t a ‘goodbye’ not good enough any more? Most people I meet everyday, including those in my office, are typically masked…we are all being nice to each other yet none would think twice to report to the boss, if the situation so arises. So why being extra nice unnecessarily, why fake it like you really care? To me, a ‘good morning’ or ‘good bye’ or if I know somebody is sick then a few simple questions are just fine and the limit. I feel it’s a complete waste of time in false socialising. There are a handful of people I genuinely care about and enjoy their company and its for them that I am always there.

You are talking t the right person Riya.I have this happy go lucky and forget and not to worry attitude.I never fret over things.If I do not like anyone or anything I do say so and just ignore them right away.Just call the spade the damn spade always.No use wasting your time and life which is so precious and sweet. on some stupid people

It takes a lot of time and experience to realize the wasteful negative things the people are doing in the day to day life.It l need a proper inheritance of virtues and a conditioned mind to be a good person.It all will come with practice if not inherited.The big question is how many of them sincerely try. "Spread a smile"

Oh! Those kind of deciptive persons, which you have mentioned, could quite irritating for me too. I do not like persons, who are not straight forward and candid in their approach. But somehow, I catch those persons, if they pretend to be sweet on face and otherwise could be dangerous. I withdraw my links with these kind of persons, who may be stabbing at my back.

this is called backstabber smile in your face and all the time wanting to take your place.i have encounter backstabbers many time throughout my life.you cannot trust a pretenter ever.

yes, definitlely!! There are also those people that start talking crap when someone else you know walks away and gets you to thinking geez what does he/she say when I walk away! I think people just like to gossip and there life is no fun to them unless they do. or it could be the fact that they have a low self-esteem and the only way to make themselves feel any better is by talking bad about others.

I agree. You should treat people in the way you would like to be treated yourself, and I personally wouldn't fancy people being nice to my face and go talking around my back either. I can be quite shy but if I don't like something I rather put myself in an awkward position and let that person know, than to go around their back talking about it.

Much as we would like everyone to be honest and straightforward, the reality is that not everyone can be honest and sincere. That is human nature, meaning it is in their nature to be deceptive and pretending. There are many who are like that and we call them "plastic". Also different people have different motives or objectives and so many would pretend or be double faced if that is a way to ensure that they will gain what they want. You have to live with it and accept this reality because not everyone is good. But don't let them influence your honesty and sincerity and maintain these and remain straightforward.

i think people figure if they fake that they like you then they wont have to deal with telling you what they dont like.. some think they can bad mouth people behind their backs and get popular that way because others might agree etc.. they are just cowards that want to avoid confrontation.. i am straight up with people.. if i dont like some one its obvious and even if i dont confront them i wont play that i like them either.. i wont say something about some one that i wont say to their face either.. but i dont like liars and therefore dont want to be something that i hate either..

Hi there! I sometimes pretend but only to prevent hurting others. Like saying a white lie. But when I do that I don't tell others of my pretension or talk at their backs. That would only hurt them more if they find out about it. But if the matter is really serious, I am just myself. What they see is what they get. Ciao!

agree and riya i can see thru my eyes the fake people.so why should i wasted time to talk then after that she or he talk behind my back?

Deception is a bad habit or bad thing to do. We have no right to deceive anybody or anyone for any reason unless it's about your own survival and the survival of many people around you. Pretending is just normal, it has gains and it has loses.

true, life is short, people will always be people, you cant help if some dont act according to the perfect norms of behavior. yes, be true, no pretenses, your right.

Hi riyasam; I'm sorry for taking so long to respond to your discussion, but I did try to apologize to my friends, and warn them in advance that for as much as I would have liked, I really didn't have the time do dedicate to prompt responses. I hope you'll understand.....now for your discussion...... For as much as we don't like this kind of behavior it is prevalent, and we can't really know the motivation behind it. If I had to take a guess, these kinds of people are insecure, and afraid of rejection by others. So, in an attempt to make themselves appear worthy of the company of others, they may feel they can score brownie points with them by being cruel to, and ridculing others. There are two things in life you must remember: 1) You can't change a spot on a leopard; 2) Birds of a feather flock together So when deciding who you will chose to call friend and allow close to you, take some time to observe people in their environment, and with their friends. That will be a good indication of who this person really is, and if you want that kind of person in your life. Sure, you can approach someone and tell them that you know they are two faced, but what are you really going to accomplish. Is it going to change you or them? My guess is not, but it can't hurt to let them know you know they are two faced, and make up your mind if you want to continue to have anything to do with a person like that, learning from the experience. Telling them may not make them care, but don't let it affect who you are, or cause you to stoop to a levels you wouldn't ordinarily go.

Life is really cruel at times. These instances are happening every single day and that they occur anywhere else in the world. This has been a rule to some people. But as for me, I try not to do these things. I'd rather show others what I feel.

I agree. I'm surrounded by people who are "two-faced" and are very difficult to trust. They'll say one thing to my face, and then a completely different thing to other people. They'll say they have no problem with me while acting nice when they're around me, and then talk about how much they can't stand me when they're around other people. It's exhausting. The pathetic thing about these people is that the majority of them are in the 50's and, to me, they're acting like high school kids. It's weird. I can't dismiss them because they're part of my fiance's family. So, I just have to learn to live with this annoyance.

Hi riyasam. I agree with you entirety. I am a straight person and hate hypocrisy. When I know that the person is this way I avoid of his. Better to stay away from this kind of person. Have a nice day.

I would much rather have someone be honest with me as to talk about me behind my back.. That is being cruel to people and I don't like cruelty.. I would rather speak the truth or keep my big mouth shut..

I truly agree with you my friend. Some people are just unfair! You tried your best to be honest and kind to them but they just can't do the same thing to others, well, not necessarily to you in return but at least, to other people even once in a while. The worst part, they talk offensive things behind your back.

Hello my friend riyasam Ji, I fully agree with your sentiments. It is natural and nothing can stop it in Natural Way of living. But people with burst out infront are less dangerous , or I can say, they are without danger, when we compare ptehr way round. Those who stab at teh back, are really more dangerous. So we have to keep ourselves apart. I do not enetrtain such people. may god bless everyone to have life peacefu. Have agreat time.