Is it ok? What do you think?

Well if you have the capability of moving him into your house no problem but you have to consider a lot of things like will you be able to cope enough to be able to give him the medical and psychological attention he requires. I am sure you work, dont you think that decision will not affect your work, if you have to miss some days in your office and your answer to the query is that you are taking care of your sick uncle... If the Home for old people is functional and is able to cater for the old man medically and other wise, I think it will be okay you take him there. I beleive he will not be so lonely there as he is presently and even as he will be in your place! he will be able to meet other people and have some activities he can do even if only looking at others or the uniformed nurses there. Mind you those who will ask the questions where are they now?, why cant they assist now? My friend its your hard earned money you will be spending for this uncle of yours, please dont get sacked from the job due to negligence or inefficiency. Tradition and culture will not be there then.

Why can't he go live with you? This is a lot easier and cheaper than putting him an old folks home. Unless he has a medical condition that you can not help him with at all, I see no reason for him not to live with you.

It's my understanding that your uncle is alone, and you are the only one that takes care of him - that means that apart from food, medicine and other stuff, you are the one to talk to him, entertain him and so on. I believe that we would have a better time at a home for the aged, as he will be able to socialize with other people, and since they are all of close age, they will even have more in common. You will be able to visit him as often as you like, and you will have a new subject of discussion with him as well - what has be been doing, new friends, new ladies he met etc... Forget about the culture and other stuff like that, in today's world people tend to care to much for some old prehistoric laws and customs if you know what i mean. Take care !

i think that if you are willing to let him live by you where you can care for him yourself then it that can be an alternative to taking him to a 'home for the aged' but if you are unable to take him into your own home for whatever reason then the best thing would be for you to take him to 'the home for the aged' when he can be cared for and looked after by someone so he will not get more sick and he will be able to make friends with people his age who he can relate to. your culture may look down on this but it would be in his best interest to take him there. hope this helps.

Howbad you are Girl!!! You know whom we call good person its always about humanity,And following of good cultures.Now this culture of yours is also in Pakistan. And we never get sick of our elders.He needs you girl and you are supposed to help him. Just put yourself in his position then answer me what would you do in such situation. Are you a Muslim????

hi there, its a tough decision you have to make but i think you need to ask yourself this question, where is he going to get receive the best care and then take it from there. ~proudnana~

Is his illness something you can help take care of with a doctor's care also involved? Or is he so ill that you cannot keep him cared for at home under a doctor's care? You really have to follow your heart on this. If your society would be ashamed that you want to put him in a home, and your conscience is telling you to keep him at home, you may want to care for him at home if his illness is something that can be managed by doctor's visits and home care. If his illness is so serious that you cannot do that, then you really have no choice. But no matter what advise you get here you really have to figure this one out on your own. Most of us don't live in a culture where we would be thought less of if we don't care for our aging relatives, so most of us really can't relate to your problem. Good luck to you and your uncle!

he is your family you don,t need permission it,s the right thing to do is care for your aging uncle.there is nothing like family.you will be blessed for this god says take care of our on.

You can't be worried about what other's think. They are not in your situation. You have to consider your own family...your life. Now if you brought him to live with you, would you be able to properly care for him physically and still work to financially support the both of you? My brother's and I took shifts to care for my mother to avoid the nursing home. It was very difficult even with all of us doing it as she needed round the clock care. If you are unable to give him the proper care and attention that he needs then it would be doing you both a favor to set him up in a place that can. There is no shame at all in that. It is NOT discarding him at all. You could till visit him and check in on him etc. At least you would know that he is okay during the times that you can't be there. Again, don't worry about what others might say....it is not their business.

Poor guy. It's sad that he has no one to take care of him in his old age. If you want to take care of him personally, then you should do it, or if you can afford, call someone, like a maid who would do his chores for him. Most of the times, people usually spend their time resting, so that person can go to your uncles place twice a day and check on him, prepare food and then leave. In fact you can rent out the house and make sure that the person who comes to live there, just keeps a tab on your uncle and his health. You can take no rent and just ask them to prepare food and care for your uncle. This would take care of his problems and he would be happy to have some company as well. Such a person might be hard to find and risky too, but it can be done. bourne

Have you spoken with your uncle about this at all? Maybe you should present your concerns to him about living alone and see what he says. I don't know how ill he is, or how well he gets around and does thing on his own. There are all sorts of options besides going to a nursing home, although I don't know exactly what your options are in your country. A few people here mentioned assisted living, if you have something like that where you are, that is often a better option for those who can still mostly take care of themselves. He would have his own apartment at the place, but there would be someone there if he needed help or had a medical problem. Usually part of the facility is a nursing home, so a person could transfer there if they got to the point of needing round-the-clock care. Talk to your uncle, and look around for a nice place if he doesn't object. If he is a social person, he might prefer to be somewhere where he can play bingo instead of sitting home while you are at work. If he is not too bad off, and he wants to stay at home (or even with you but you have to go to work, etc.) there are other options. You can get a nurse to visit if he needes medical help, or I'm sure there are other services available to get someone to make sure he eats, helps with housework, etc. A home is not the only option. Good luck whatever you and your uncle decide!

You are really in a tough situation. Sending the elderly the home for the aged is also a difficult decision here in china, but more and more accepted by society. You have been a nice niece, and nowthat your uncle is sick, it is for his good to be cared by the home. His understanding must be requested. Maybe immediate acceptance is luxuray, but keep patient to achieve your convince. Good luck, and take care.

I believe that it would be the right thing to do, especially if you are having difficulty watching him yourself. It can be very hard to watch out for an elderly person and not everyone can do it. I know that I would take care of them for as long as possible. There may come a time when this uncle needs to be watched more than you can possibly hope for yourself, when that time comes, I think that he and your mother would understand the need to put him in a home for the elderly. It really isn't as bad as people make it out to be, especially if you take the time to visit regularly and to make the place feel a little more like home for him. I know that I have enough to do in my life now and I don't think that I would be able to take care of an old or ailling relative. I am sure that your family would understand and if not, at least you should know that you would be giving him the care that he needs and deserves. I hope that things work out and that you are able to be happy.

Hi, First, accept my BOW!I respect Ur attitude and duty-consciousness.Donot give up.Donot be afraid about the criticism coming on Ur way.Think for lateral/alternative.Can U afford to take care of a woman(possibly needs a similiar help)and that woman takes care of Ur ailing uncle staying with U? It will a win-win situation. If it ia India, it would have been possible...I donot know much about "FILIPINO"... Try some other alternatives too(may be an old-age-home with proper medical facility)!=Lahiri,Kolkata,India.

Our culture is similar to yours. We are being frowned at if we were to put our aged parents in the old folks home. The society will think that we the children are ungrateful, proud and all sorts of remarks that puts us down. But I tell you what these people do not really understand the very reasons why we do it as it is for the benefits of the old people and putting them there is making their life comfortable as they are with people of the same age group. They can share and have many things in common. They have people taking care of their welfare like food, recreation and medical. Given the choice I would want to stay in a place like this when I am old as I do not want to trouble my children unnecessarily. But I will go for private old folks home as they are better equiped compared to the crowded government run home. We are not abandoning them when we decided to place them there as they are in the hands of trained and capable people unlike us where we are handicapped in many facets of human management especially senior citizens. They might live happier and longer there compared to living with us where loneliness could eventually bring them earlier to the grave. In your case, forget about culture, and do what you think is best for your uncle. But leaving him does not mean abandoning him as you should continually pay him a visit and bring him home once in a while. He should be grateful to you for finding him a home where he can make himself more comfortable and can interact with others of his age range.

I am a Filipino also. Yes, we have this belief about close family ties and abandoning our elders on the home for the aged. But be practical and think deeply. If you think the best thing for your uncle. If he will be well supported inside the home for the aged then do. Just don't neglect him. Visit him and still support him the best way you can do.

first i don't think 60 is that old, lol i'm 66. if he is sick mentally or physically then he could be a danger to himself & needs to be put somewhere he will be taken care of. what about getting somone to stay at his home w/him if u don't want to put him in a nursing home.

What a pity. You're right we've known for acquiring great love and compassion to our relatives. We have known for having a strong family ties. In your case is it really a big problem especially that your mama left your uncle to you before she passed away..( i am sorry for that ). I think there would be a few things for you to be considered before you would decide which is which. a) Is your uncle have no problem with his status of being alone? I mean do he have negative vices in his life that could annoyed your family? Is he or not a bad influence of the family? If he is positive of these, don't hesitate to throw him to the home of the aged. However if he is not, I would recommend to let him stay in your family. Your conscience will bother if you let him stay away from you when it fact he has no problem if he would stay together with your family. If he has problem with his health that's why maybe you're thinking of letting him stay at elder home I think it wouldn't be wise. The more he might be needing your help. This is the time that you could show your love to him being your pure blooded uncle. Anyway, that's only my opinion. I would still respect yours whatever... Cheers

My fiance works in home health. It is a great resource for people who want help in taking care of a loved one but does not want to stick them in a home. If he is well enough for this option and you can handle the financial responsibilities that go along with the decision, I believe this is the best option.