21 going on 40??
By analupinho
@analupinho (34)
Portugal
February 4, 2009 8:30am CST
Hi everyone!
Recently I've been concerning about my relationship with a guy whom I've been dating for about a month and a half. He's very kind, peacefull, honest and sincere with me. The point is he's almost 20 years older than me and I'm affraid my parents wouldn't approve this situation. However, he never tried to abuse me and he isn't making fun of me, he likes just who I am and I never felt so pleased in my life. Besides, there is another problem, tomorrow he's going to Guinea on vacation and a little bit of work too and he's leaving me for 2 months!! I think it will be very difficult but it'd be also the time to settle our ideas down. What do you think I should do? Should I stay or should I go?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@makeupbycher (165)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
so what is you and your partners decision about his going away for 2 months? what sort of setup do you have right now? will both of you be allowed to date others etc?
you are only 21. you have your full life ahead of you. you're supposed to find yourself and do the things you've always wanted to do.
in any case, his absence will be good for you to stand up for your own. during these time make the most out of your life. and if after the end of those two months, if the both of you want the same things, then go ahead. but if you have different priorities it's best to be just friends. although i have to judgements on the big age difference, i would want you to take into consideration what place the two of you have in your life right now.
i quite remember this episode of FRIENDS wherein monica dated this much older man (tom selleck). and in the end they had to break up because the guy doesn't want to have babies anymore but monica never got to experience those things and wants to have a baby. it's a simple glimpse on an issue of going out with someone from a big age gap. not just babies - you have to think about careers, marriage, etc.
this time apart would make you guys think. so don't be afraid to make a decision right now. think things through.
@analupinho (34)
• Portugal
6 Feb 09
We decided that this time apart is going to be a time to think things over but we never decided to "break-up", we just accorded that if anything happened we'd be sincere with each other. It's not like we have that sort of compromise that only comprises the two of us but we're not thinking of anyone else in our lives other than ourselfes, I mean, we don't talk about "betrayal", but it's kinda weird to have someone else during the time his out. I don't say that this won't happen and that's what we made clear to each other, because it is a possibiliy. And, as you said, I'll really take the time to think about this, as he will too, during his abscence and when he arrives we'll see how it goes. Thanks for the tip :)
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
5 Feb 09
Having small arguments is quite common in many relationships. Age difference should not be looked at as a big obstacle if both partners care for each other.
Maturity is not directly related to physical age. A person can be 15 of age, but with a mental maturity of 30. If the difference in maturity is great it always leads to great differences of opinions. In this case a long term relationship is not viable. He can be a guide to you in being better prepared on meeting the challenges of life.
We do not know when we will die. Let not this become a worry to you if a decision is made to seal the relationship. Furthermore in general women tend to grow physically old faster than men.
all the best in your relationship,
rosdimy
rosdimy @analupinho (34)
• Portugal
5 Feb 09
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciated. In fact, he's always saying to me how's good, above all the relationship we have, to have an older person beside me who can guide me and make me a better person through this times. I guess that's the best part of all this because I got to learn many things that I didn't know and to trust myself a bit more!
