how to overcome your sadness missing someone you love so much?

@yina24 (358)
Philippines
February 4, 2009 9:16am CST
this is related to my post 'having a long distance relationship'. How do you overcome the sadness of having your partner too far away from you? until when you can take it? what do you do to keep yourself busy enough to forget the sadness and longingness for a while? :( ... what i keep myself busy is to read books and face my computer.. but sometimes, it's really hard when you miss someone you love.. i went out one time with my bestfriends.. we hang out, drank a little, and talked about ourselves... but right after, the intuition of sadness still incorporated in my mind.. what else can you do about that?... ^^ have you ever forgot even in a single minute, or a second the love of your life?.. hmmm^^ how?? and how strong that is??? :)
5 people like this
31 responses
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
that's really hard.. been in a long distance relationship before.. and i don't know it dint work coz i found someone else.. what i usually do before is i call the person.. or i chat with him.. we always find time to talk or chat.. coz open communication is important.. and during valentines day when he was not around i go out with my friends and have fun.. go clubbing and at the end of the day.. he will call me and greet me.. then a week after he will send me his valentine present.. you cant avoid the sadness at first.. or few months.. then later on.. you will be able to cope with it.. imagine me before waiting for 3 years.. hehehe
2 people like this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
waiting patiently is somehow a key but it's really hard.. ^^ thanks trendyclothes.. i live your nick.. it fits with you.. ^^
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
thanx for the compliment! and good luck with your relationship.. :)
1 person likes this
@cheenlly (3477)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
I really don't know until when i can take it . Maybe as long as i had my love i will still have the patience to wait 'till we were together forever. Its really hard as most of the times i can't help to feel sad because of the longingness. The distance make us feel sad. Even how much i make myself busy i would still feel sad but we do feel the same way. My fiance feel the same way and we are both having sacrifices and that is to wait for the time till we all finish the things we need to do. I am really looking forward on that day that we will be together as one and that we are no longer apart. Hopefully very soon in God's will.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
goodluck to both of you cheenlly..^^
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
4 Feb 09
The pragmatic way is to give more love to my distance relationship. As love is lost of valuable energy and love also an energy which neither created nor destroyed; so, I have to gain back my energy of love by implementing more objectives focus on our financial planing for our marriage life. If I thoroughly focus my love merely for the affection and not the effects, definitely my distance relationship will fail to reach its destination for my future happiness. There must be an equilibrium value in love affect and effect. In reality, it works for both parties between me and her as a method of statement as well as a proof of love, that both parties are really serious to prolong the relationship with the same objectives. Matter of fact, it spices up our love feeling even greater and gargantuan meaningful. We need great financial outstanding in our marriage life. Better late than never.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
"better late than never" is one of my mottos, too.. A life cannot stand just for love.. you're right michael.. :)
1 person likes this
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
4 Feb 09
It is hard to deal with missing him so much. I talk to him everyday for about 2 hours before bed. It's like ending our day together. I also developed some pictures of him and put them around my room, so I still kind of get to see him even if I can't hug him and such. I also set goals for myself. Like if I can make it to such a date without being too depressed I would be good. I have 2 months til we move in together so I am setting myself goals throughout those two months...right now my goal is next friday which is a church event.
2 people like this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
you can switch your mind from thinking alot by doing other activities... keep it up!! :)
1 person likes this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
It is really hard to fight for what we really felt. Our feelings cannot lie whatever we do. To avoid missing him, make yourself busy. Avoid thinking of him from time to time because it will really lead you to miss him. Do not look at the things that will remind you about him. For you to avoid sadness, it is within yourself, make the things that interest you. things that makes you happy every time that you are doing it. fight your emotions. think over that he is just there and will never leave you, do not be afraid. he will not be gone. there is a reason why the two of you were separated. he needs to work for your future. always be optimistic, everything will be alright, your mylot family is here for you.
2 people like this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
wow~~~ how nice the family is in here.. thanks alot.. ^^
1 person likes this
@jasmin69k (103)
• Australia
4 Feb 09
i know long distance relationship is hard..eventhough u communicated a lot through phone,internet and writing but still when ur alone and sad u needed someone to comfort u and give assurance that everything will be alright.but if u don't want to lose him/her focus things could make u happy until the day will follow..and keep ur self busy to work and enjoy urself with ur friends..sometimes u travel and make out of town.just believe that the best thing happen to a person,a person knows how to wait..
2 people like this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
wow~~ i like that.. the best thing only happens if a person knows how to wait.. it's a good quote.. thanks alot~~~~ :)
1 person likes this
@sharay (2769)
• India
4 Feb 09
No yina...as you that is indeed really very hard, there are no words describe the pain that one goes through at this kind of a circumstance...from my experience i tell you, time is the only healer....with time, you are going to be back to your normal self, dont worry, let some more time pass by...till then try to hold urself
1 person likes this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
thank you sharay.. ^^
1 person likes this
14 Oct 10
Hi all, me and my boyfriend, who is the love of my life after i thought i would never love someone again have been together a yr and nearly a half. Unfortunetly i was on a visa for a year and have had to return to the country i was born in. Currently to make things worse he is travelling, it has been so hard for me, he came to see me for just under 2 weeks and i got all my happy feelings back for that brief period, it made me realise what we have is worth fighting for, i dont boast to being the best person to cope with all this, while im trying to get back to where i was so we can be together i have to put up with issues, such as timezones and the expense of keeping in contact, I have a tendancy to just break down,it was always him being there for me and making me feel like the person i really am inside. I just feel lost without him, i am trying to keep myself busy but there will always be those moments when all i can think about is him. Does anyone have any advice, im stuck in a place i dont want to be and away from the person that makes me feel good. I desperately want him to enjoy his once in a lifetime travelling but i just get so sad.
@baileycows (3665)
• United States
4 Feb 09
I always just go back to the happy times that i spent with this person. memories can be a great reminder and help you through. You just have to be positive when you pull your memories.
2 people like this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
yes.. sometimes looking back means great or gives nothing at all.. when you will compare of what's going on around you, you'll definitely miss someone who you dearly love.. hey baileycows, nice pic you have.. i feel hungry when i look at it.. so yummy.. ^^ lol..
1 person likes this
• Brazil
5 Feb 09
I had a long distance relationship with my ex boyfriend when I got back to Brazil for about 4 months. Then he broke up with me lying he just loved me as a friend but later on told me the truth, that he was really scared of being abandoned and hurt again. thing is, more than 3 years passed, we are still friends. Not like before that we were the bestfriends. But I still miss him like if I had left him in Holland just yesterday. And sometimes I ask myself if he ever missed me like that. What I do to forget that a bit? work, browse the net and talk to friends. But at night when I lie in my bed to sleep only I know how it feels.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
6 Feb 09
Thanks and you take care :-)
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
day would make us pretend that we're happy.. night could us with loneliness.. (T_T).. be strong dear..
@ellovire (409)
5 Feb 09
most of the time my husband goes out of the country because his job requires him to go to different places. in times like that, i miss my husband so much. i am not used to sleeping without him, or not having breakfast and dinner with him. he is the highlight of my day and that is why everytime he's away, i feel so down and do not have the energy to work. so what i do, i always spray his cologne to my things to constantly remind me of him. i spray it on my hanky, my bag, my papers. and i wear his undershirt, again sprayed with his scent, when im in the house. i also do not delete his text messages and email messages and i read them over and over. i do these things till he gets home.
1 person likes this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
that's your strength dear... spraying his cologne to feel that he's near with you.. :)
• China
5 Feb 09
you put me in mind of my fist love.i missed him very much even he just left.i wanted to stay with him every minute. we parted after 1 year.Now,i fall in love the second time,but i can't find the feel of the carzy missing anymore.
1 person likes this
• India
4 Feb 09
Yes you do miss the absence of you life partner/friend once he/she becomes part and parcel of your daily chores and you start not to treat him/her as a separate entity.Your partner becomes so integral that you feel the importance only in the times of his/her absence.during such times you start remembering small things done together and good/bad times spent together.Even smallest of incidents which you would normally tend to forget haunts you in the larger than life format nad that probabely brings two people even more closer.so hold on to those wonderful times spent together and allow it become your stength in times of trial & turbulence.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
you're right.. getting stronger at least.. busy days can really help alot.. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
In my case me and boyfriend are far from each other.. He live in other country.. we just met once a year..what i do if im missing him is i give him a call to hear his voice and going over again with our pics together..
1 person likes this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
oh~~ that's for sure.. cannot go on without it.. :) be strong!
@nansheeca (215)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
well aside from subscribing to our mobile network's unlimited texting and calling, i always remind myself that the time we are apart is also for our own future and also to keep our marriage strong. besides being away for some time also increases our excitement for each other. but if it really took you guys long period of time before you get to see each other, i guess communication really is the most important thing to put into perspective.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
COMMUNICATION really stands out in LDR.. :)
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
Whew, i know how hard it is to have a long distance relationship.. i guess, the best thing you can do is to call you partner once in a while, chat with him, send text messages, etc.. then make yourself busy by going out with your family and friends, go to the salon or spa, read a good book, go through your favorite websites, enroll yourself to a music school or to any activity you like doing, etc.. i know those things wouldn't drive your sadness away(totally) but at least it can help you forget it somehow... good luck
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
music really helps... ^^
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
Actually getting busy is of big help. Yes only that when you come home and rest you'll feel he sadness again of missing someone. Today however is better compared before when the's no internet yet. At least today you can do emails, you can chat, and you can see them on webcams. Yes but still you'll miss you're loved one despite of all of these. You can visit churches attend mass and pray to God to bless you and person you love to see each other soon.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
yes, indeed~~~ internet connects two worlds that are apart.. :)
@pujagupta (102)
• India
5 Feb 09
Well i have been this trauma. Yes it is a trauma for me because i lost some of my best people of life. I was lost into this trauma always thinking and thinking. But Then i got over it by getting into the studies. I started taking higher studies. I made new friends and got busy.
1 person likes this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
that's sad.. luckily, you overcome with it already... :)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
Find something to do that interests you. You can search for other money making jobs online so you have something to do. Get busy and do not let your mind think of the one you love.
1 person likes this
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
that's what we do..~~ work, work, work~~~ :)
@mmiceli (382)
5 Feb 09
My boyfriend's parents are missionaries, so although he's American home for him is in Taiwan. We met at school, but summer of '08 he went back to Taiwan for the summer, May to August. It was horrible because of the time difference, we could only talk online, blah blah blah. The first month was sooo hard, but after that I kept myself busy and the next three months flew by. He's been back since August and our 1 year is next week. It's hard, but you will make it through! I never really forgot anything, we talked as often as possible and when you guys reunite, you'll remember everything. It will be ok!
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
you made me smile.. :)
@Niah1976 (739)
• Paranaque, Philippines
5 Feb 09
For me, you don't have to be sad being far from your loved one. You have to be thankful that you found each other. If you really love each other no matter how far the distance, your love for each other will stay strong. If you have faith in God, everything will be alright between the couple. It is the state of mind that you have to change. Instead of feeling lonely, why don't you talk to God in prayer. Only by then you will have peace of mind and peace inside your heart. God bless.
@yina24 (358)
• Philippines
6 Feb 09
thank you very much and welcome to mylot.. ~~~~ :)