How does money work in your relationship?
By jesssp
@jesssp (2712)
Canada
February 11, 2009 12:16pm CST
How do you handle the finances in your household? Do you both handle it evenly or is it one person's 'job'?
I just learned that my little sister's husband essentially won't allow her to see their bills, bank statements or any of the other household finances (she's a stay at home mom). I couldn't believe that! Do any of you have the same situation? Do you find it a little scary to have no idea where you and your family stand financially? I can't even imagine what that would be like.
My fiance and I just recently started a joint bank account that both our cheques go into and all our expenses go out of. We each have our own account as well and we have another joint savings account that we've had since we bought our house. Previous to getting a joint account I always kept track of all our expenses and more or less 'invoiced' him at the end of the month. He never questioned me and was glad I handled that sort of thing. He trusts me completely with our money just as I trust him.
So how does budgeting, bank accounts and finances in general work in your household (even though it's not polite to talk about money)?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
22 Feb 09
When Hubby and I first became engaged he had me added to his checking account. We did all the bills together and if it was a major purchase we always talked it out...we still do it that way. Now that we're married we have 2 accounts and we're both on the primary one and the second one is just in my name but it is just for online things. I just put our money together in PayPal and then pull it all down at once. We never hide money from each other and if there's something one of us wants then we talk it over and then get it or compromise if it can't be gotten right then and there.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
24 Feb 09
That sounds like the perfect set up to me. I think that hiding money and not talking about purchases are two of the major reasons so many couples fight about money. When we bought our house we got a joint account for the mortgage and savings. We both had our own accounts and for the first while (2 years) we just kind of kept track of bill payments and purchases and made it as even as possible. After a while I started keeping track of all the bills and purchases on a spreadsheet and kinda made a little Excel program that calculated how much each of us owed to the joint account at the end of the month. Finally after living together for three years and being engaged for over 1 we just got a joint account and threw it all in one pot. And oh my is it easier! We have never fought about money either and thankfully we're both cheap so neither of us has to worry about the other going out and making an extravagant purchase.
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I handle my own money and it's a big relief. When I was married I didn't handle any of it. We tried that once but I couldn't keep up with all his transactions--he wouldn't tell me about them for days or weeks and banks weren't online then--and it was a mess so he took back the finances. I like managing my own money. My bills are paid the moment they arrive and I never have anyone calling me for money or coming to turn off my utilities. My ex was very busy and wasn't the best money manager even though he tried.
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
11 Feb 09
My partner and I, we are not yet married or engaged in a more serious relationship, so we have different finance. My money and hers.
And yeah, it is not polite to talk about money in between people but if you ar close enough to them I think you can be a little bit opened about the financial condition of your household.(especially with your own partner)
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Money's just kind of not real to our relationship right now really. We pretty much try and compensate each other as well as we can with what we owe each other but neither of us really cares about money as of right now. We just try to save as much as we can to hopefully get our lives on the right path but we're still young and don't have to deal with a lot of responsibilites quite yet.
