I want to cry, I am sad.

Bahamas
February 11, 2009 6:59pm CST
Hi my name is Leticias, and I live about two months here in Nassau. I'm really sad because I do live by myself, it is very hard,it is my first time living alone. I have to be here for a while. Don't know what to do? I stay in my place most of the time, I don't go out, I feel strange going out alone, I think always need some body on my side to go out or do things. Iam shy, very introvert, and I dont know how to approach people. I think people are very distant with others, they just want to have their space. I can't work here, I have a turist visa. The rest of my family is in the US. And I can not go to the US. I dont know where to go, what to do, or what to say when Iam outside. So please help me. I don want to loose my mind been in my place the twenty four hours. Help me PLEase.
3 people like this
19 responses
@tudors (1556)
• China
12 Feb 09
Hi, it's ok, don't worry, everything will be all right, but it takes time. Here i want to give you two pieces of advice: One is cry as you like. It's ok to do that, no one will laugh at you, and people here at mylot will support you. sometimes crying helps to relieve sadness and unhappiness. Advice two would be joining an interest group if there is any in your community. It's ok to be shy, you don't need to talk, give presentations in front of others, you can just listen with your heart, watch with your eyes. and shy people like you may soon find you, and therefore, you may find a like friend. Remember? Everyone has to be grown up no matter he likes it or dislikes it. No one can reverse the process. So please remember this : It takes great pain to be grown up ! now, just face it. you give a smile to your life, and it reflects.
• United States
12 Feb 09
What great advise to give. I admire your wisdom.
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
16 Feb 09
go out in public places and get lost in the crowd, people watching. u might even end up meeting someone. for instance, coffee shop, mall, tourist attractions, work as a tour guide, hotels, beach, etc.
@AXLAERO (426)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
oh,its hard to be alone.it will really makes you crazy.you have no one to talk to.how can you stay like that.well,mylot will help you communicate with someone.you can respond to discussions and make your own discussion.in that way,it will lessen your sadness.
• United States
14 Feb 09
One of the best places I know of to safely meet people is at church, especially in a Sunday School class. You might also check the local newspaper to see if there are any clubs you might could join.
@KrauseHome (36733)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Well, I am wishing you the Best and it does sound like somehow you need to learn to be a little more outgoing, and find some people you can get to know and do some things with. Are you going to School there or something is why you are New there and not near your family? It can be a hard time when you are New and feel alone, but in time things will change. You need to open up and have fun. Wishing you the Best.
• United States
12 Feb 09
leticias we here at myLot are a community of friends from all around the world who are here for each other. I want you to feel you can reach out to us. I would be very, very hard to me to be in a new area and all by myself I can understand why you are scared and lonely. I think you are very brave to be there in the first place for going there. How do you eat? Are you getting groceries delivered or do you venture to the market to at least get food? Can you get a pet a dog or a cat to keep you company? If you got a little dog then you would have to walk it and that would help you get out of the house. Leticias can you describe what it looks like outside your front window? I have never been to Nassau. Is there a street with a lot of people, is there a yard, or just a lot of other buildings? Outside my front door/window I have a yard with a grass and flowers and a street with houses on the other side of the street. I do not know to many of my neighbors to well because here in the USA a lot of us just keep to our selves. Good luck to you I want you to know you can become my friend and PM me any time you need to talk. take care teapot
@ricci01 (17)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
Hi Leticias, I understand your situation because I was once a very shy person, very introvert and I am afraid to approach people, I am afraid of rejection. Cry if you feel like crying. There's nothing to lose if you cry, you're just being true to yourself. In crying, you acknowledge your weaknessess and your fears. But after releasing your emotions, learn to conquer your fears, acknowledge also that you have your own strenghts. Invite positive thoughts into your mind, make yourself busy so that loneliness will not have a space in your life.
@sonusd (1547)
• India
12 Feb 09
If you are sad then it is better for you to discuss your problem with your friends with whom you are so close and you can avoid it by keeping your self doing something busy and the best way is please go to any garden and see the flower and small plant i hope your sad will decrease and you will not try to cry
@nansheeca (215)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
What's keeping you sad? I mean not everyone is given the chance to live independently like you. Go out, have fun and dont think that you need somebody always to make you happy. You're a tourist there so all you have to do is tour and i know, somewhere along the way you'll meet new friends. Believe in yourself girl...Enjoy and stop crying!
@Porcospino (28529)
• Denmark
12 Feb 09
I can relate to your situation, I am not alone now, but I have been alone in past, and I know that it is not easy to go out and find some friends when you are shy and introverted. If I were you I would try go out even though it is hard. You don't have to meet people and talk to people just because you go out, you could just go for a walk and look at the the area where you are living. Do you ever chat with other people on the internet? That could be a start and it could make you feel less lonely. Maybe you can even find people from your area to write to or chat to? I am very far from Nassau (I am in Europe) but if you ever want to chat or write to me just add me as a friend
• China
12 Feb 09
you must be brave to face it ,after crying ,you can search for something to get interested in ,life has so many interesting things and its diversity makes me feel amazed all the time,if you feel life is lonely,it will be in that way and if you feel life is hopeful and interesting ,it will become exciting gradually ...it is up to your choice and your mood,there is nothing to lose and to be afraid,at least, you have so many friends in this place and we all support you and give your our best advice,so cheer up!!!
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
hi leticias, malou here. you know its only you who can help yourself to conquer any fear you have inside. its you who can direct yourself to what really pleases you and what you really what to be...to do. surely you can communicate with your relatives and i'm pretty sure there a ring away to respond. all you have is to set what's your TOP priority and there you know how to proceed.
@maean_19 (4660)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
I was once very dependent to my family and in fear to stroll around alone, but I have to and need to because my work persist me from being separated to my family and learn the life of living alone and independent. At first, I am very reluctant to talk to my neighbors and afraid to go to the mall alone and do the groceries, but I had no choice. I see myself crying at night because I miss my family, however, I don't want to lose my mind and pity myself for being alone. Do not allow yourself to be in a situation that you are hopeless. You can do something about it if you initiate. Do not isolate yourself and do not presume too much thinking that someone will do something against you. Just be cautious, anyway. Get out of your place. Make friends. Reach out. Again, I tell you, have the initiative to reach out. How to start it? Perhaps, you can cook for your neighbor or invite them to have lunch with you. Such little things or approach is a good start. Observe your surroundings. Do not just stay to your place. You need to breath for a while so stroll around. Go to the park nearest your place. Of course, if you are afraid, don't go to places at night. You will get used to it eventually.
@nikky28 (1572)
• India
12 Feb 09
Hi leticias, As the saying goes, " Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you might be thinking about them." There are lots of people who are shy and wanting someone's opinion. We all share a lot in common. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for and maybe insecure at times. So there is no need to be afraid of one another. Since you are new, you might feel out of place for sometime, but this is a learning process for you to be independent and socialize. I am sure there are some communities which will interest you, like a hobby group. If you like dancing, you should join a dance class, or if you are interested in cooking, kick boxing, or anything around you that would help you meet people. Be friendly, keep a smile on your face, say hello when you meet someone's eyes and be happy from within. People are good. Also, you can adopt a " So what?" attitude. If people are judgemental or critical at times, SO WHAT? Its no big deal. Take everything lightly. And be free. Take a deep breath and enjoy your life and surroundings. Go for a walk in the evening and yes alone. Alone, so what? At first it may be a little strange for you, but after a while it becomes normal. Try to do this more often and you will be a natural at it. All the best!
12 Feb 09
Hi my name is echo .Learning from your letter ,it reminds me something that i used to be at your situation but one not the same is that i am not at a new place .so far I even have not changed this habbit that when i am free ,i would not go out .I can stay at home for one month alone .I also enjoy this private space and I can do anything i want at my room .but as time goes by ,i become isolated from people .I don't know how to communicate with people and make friends with people .My friends is fewer and fewer .The more i stay at home ,the more relectant i am to open mind even to my relatives .At present ,i found it even caused greater problems in life.As a man we were born to have the ability to communicate with others.As our age growing ,the more people we meet ,the stronger we become .but when we separete ourself from others ,we begin to give up this ability .pls don't hide yourself at home ,you should go out to make friends with others even you are in a new place .when you go out ;you may love this place .because everything has its charming .Travaling is very good ,i am so envied you have such an oppertunity .pls cheer up !If you can't listen to the local language ;body language is the world language .
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
in the first place what is your reason why you have been in that place. i am pretty sure that you been there for a purpose. now if you have accomplished your purpose what you have to do is go back home. call your family and friends and tell them your situation. i dont see any reason why you have to stay there if you dont have a purpose. dont get depressed the more your getting sad the more you cant find a solution to your problem. clear your mind from fear and pray for guidance. just keep in mind that in every problem there is a corresponding solution.
@hopejordan (3566)
• Australia
12 Feb 09
hi there leticias i was like you once i was 17 i left forster care and went in a flat and it was so scary for me and i did ok i have a learning disablity and i turned out ok you will get used to it take care happy postings.
@iansheila (175)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
hi leticias, im samantha.. we got the same story.. i have been two months here in england. but our difference is i am with my sister here. but sad to say i just stay in her house as well 24 hours a day, same as you, so dont worry... idont go out as well because im ashame to other people. maybe you should make yourself busy in the house. what are you doing there? your on a tourist visa, so you should roam around and meet other people. dont worry, its only at first that you will be ashame. you can meet the locals, im sure they will welcome youin there place. just be yourself and dont be afraid to talk to them, anyway they wont bite ot hurt you, hehhe, just making you smile. and if you dont feel like roaming around first, just enjoy here in mylot. it really helps me.
@bubblyapple (2654)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
If you are sad, it is okay to cry. However, after crying, you have to move on. If you are not comfortable going out alone, stroll around the area in the morning first or earlier part of the evening (the time that there is still sunlight). You might want to network with your colleagues at work. Maybe some of them are alone too and need someone to hang out with.