No Water. No Coffee. No Sparks

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Today was a very dry day and that included being out of booze. I woke up, stumbled to the kitchen and turned on the tap to make coffee. No water. No water, no coffee. No big deal, I thought, as my town is on a well and sometimes the water pressure gets so low, we are without water for a few minutes. So off I go to dress, make the bed and shovel my front walk even though it's still snowing. Back to the bathroom to take a shower, and you guessed it. No water. I call my neighbour. She has water. Well damn, I think, WHY ME?! Because it's the story of my life. I call the town councilman to check the main in front of my house. He laughs at me. Tells me to 'wait until spring thaw for water'! Like WTH? So I called my secretary at the Town Office and asked her to find someone else to check my lines. We have the technology. She calls me back and says everyone in town has water but me so it's my fault. Like again, WTH? I may be cold at times, but I'm not frigid (wink,wink) enough to freeze my own pipes! So I get mad. (Later I got even.lol) I got an emergency plumber out who luckily for me, was working on the other side of the lake, and he made it to my place before dark, but in one of the worst storms of the winter. He hooked up his cables and gadgets and determined, that yes, the 'freeze zone' was at the town main and NOT in my own pipes that go from the main to my house. In less than twenty minutes he had me back in water. So of course, I made coffee (!) and sandwiches and invited the cute plumber into the house. He told me that because of the weather it would be a good idea to let water run somewhere in the house for the next few days. He suggested the toilet, in that the 'floater' in the tank can be left up which makes the toilet constantly 'run' drawing on the water supply. So off we go to the bathroom. I have a narrow bathroom. We were standing side by side looking into the tank of the toilet and I lost my balance. Luckily (?) I fell sideways and ended up butt over tea kettle in the tub, legs straight up in the air. VERY dignified! The cute plumber, to his credit, tried not to laugh and offered to turn the water on for me so I could take my shower now. Cute and funny huh? But the best part was as he was coiling up his cables outside and getting ready to leave. The councilman who had laughed at me, came by and asked the plumber if I had water now. He was told yes and that the TOWN would be billed for it not ME! Big argument ensued, but the law is the law. Because the plumber was in my area when the call came, I brokered a deal with him for over 1/3rd less of the normal cost so the town will pay just over half of what it would normally have cost if the plumber had to come from the city just for me. So I had the last laugh and saved my town a bundle. I am now on my third pot of coffee in as many hours. Wowza the threat of losing access to one of life's vices is a scary thing!What vice in life can't YOU live without?