older children asking parent for money.

United States
March 15, 2009 3:18pm CST
i have a friend that has three older children in thier late 20s and one in earley 30s. she also has three little ones that are very young at home. she was sying about every other week one of the older ones always calls and ask her for money. not just small amounts like 300 and then the other will call the next week with a problem and ask for 200.she still has little ones at home to feed . do you think this is right of the older ones ?and what should she do about it?
1 person likes this
13 responses
• India
20 Mar 09
Hello my friend deedeehall Ji, In fact generally, at that age, if children are still trying to settle themselves professionally may require help from others, may be encouraged, but in case, if requirement is totally other than real ones, should be dis-couraged. It all depends upon individual cases. One must understand requirement and then act accordingly. May God bless You and have a great time.
• United States
20 Mar 09
i know its just hard to understand .i had no choice then to work by the time i was 14 i was hard at work no questions ask.i dont understand how you ask some one else i would be really ashamed.
1 person likes this
• India
25 Mar 09
Hello my friend deedeehall Ji, So nice of your comments. I fully understand your sincere feelings from your heart. But, if situation warrants, nothing can happen. may god bless you and have a great time.
@suzzy3 (8352)
15 Mar 09
They should learn to stand on their own two feet.My son came to us once to guarantee a car loan and the rate of interest was horrendous so we lent them the money at a very low rate ,they were very happy with it and are paying us back ,slowly over three years,they were desperate for a car as they have four kids and need to work and get there by car so it was an act of mercy more than a loan,but like I say it has to paid back.She should say when I have had the last lot back you can have some more,it is to much to expect a mother of three to keep giving money away,She must be going without or her little ones are.
• United States
15 Mar 09
yea i would think they would feel bad for her having three little ones at home and asking her for money.but i guess some kids do not. she really needs to let them know she can not do this.i dont know if she feels quilty for saying no or not .but i feel like they should be the ones feeling quilty.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8352)
16 Mar 09
to right they are taking the food out of the little ones mouth so as to speak.The more she sends the more they will take,do they ever do anything nice for her.For some reason some kids think their parents have pots of money and even if they have it is the parents money not theirs.
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
I don't think that it is wrong to help specially your children even if they grow up, but not to a point that your children are already abusing your kindness. I do have a brother who keeps asking my parents for financial needs and we understand the situation, my parents lend him money but does not worry if my brother would pay back or not but the thing is, if you borrowed money, you have to give it back to the person to whom you have borrowed. I think that we as children also would not be depending much on our parents like asking for money, but instead we are the one who are suppose to give money to our folks and bless them too for what they have done to us. Anyway a parent would not abandon their children and to this we really are to honor also our parents for they are given by God to us. As it is said in the ten commandments to honor our parents. Happy Mylotting!
• United States
16 Mar 09
the end is very well said and i think if you dont allow this they will not expect it .i was working at 14 because my parents just could not afford all 9 of us kids i dont expect any thing and i know if i do not work i will not have any thing so i am a very hard worker.these kids need to know work or have nothing.
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
Wow.30?and yet still asking money from parents?wow that's quite amazing but somehow pathetic.I pity the parents.
• United States
16 Mar 09
i dont think it is wrong in case of emergency like a child in the hospital or got layed off and fell short of money that week but they must find a nother job rite away. but these adult kids are already working and never have money. and they always have some kind of problem.
@vickycity (155)
• China
16 Mar 09
It's amazing. in this phase, children or call they adults, will pay money for mother's life, they just exchange.
• United States
16 Mar 09
i know times are really sad.
@Archie0 (4667)
16 Mar 09
well i know how it feels for a older one to ask for money. if they are much concerned about their self respect or what we call as ego system. then they will never as for money from anyone, but if they dont pay much aatention to these things then they wont ever ask for one. i have such a situation in my house where one of my older sister asks of money from her mother even when she has got married.which i think is really shamefull but she doesnt feel anything about it
• United States
16 Mar 09
i think it does come down to self respect and alot of the people have good parents that never dreamed of them turning out like this .i just dont know how you can love your parent and do this.
• China
16 Mar 09
it is wrong for childern to ask money from their parents when they needn't ,may be you should cut the amount or give them nothing let them know you aren't god you can not do everything for them
• United States
16 Mar 09
this is my friends kids but i know what i would do if they had that many problems .i would help them find a second job until they were on thier feet again.
@babyorchid (1737)
• China
16 Mar 09
definitly not right. lol...anyone who is an adult, i don't think it's right for them to ask their parents for money. but who knows..they might have some problems to support themselve.. or they wanna start their own biz.but run out of money at first...
• United States
16 Mar 09
the first one said she needed it for school and the second one said they would loose thier car if they do not get 200 dollars that is thier problem they know when thier car payment is due they should find away to work for it before that date.
• United States
16 Mar 09
Gee, I learned that I had to be self sufficient... I can't believe that these children can get their hands on so much money... That is a huge amount of money... I feel sorry that people can not survive on their own, it is a sad state of affairs. I know I'm struggling and just barely getting by...
• United States
16 Mar 09
i know the thing is one of them ask for 300 2 weeks before the other ask for 200 .what are they doing with this money? and dont they think she will be broke if this keeps up.
• China
16 Mar 09
Of course it's not their rights to do so.Their mother bring them up and they are already adults.They should depend on themselves.What they should is to make more money and let their mother live a happy life insteading of continuously asking for money.
• United States
16 Mar 09
yes i think it kind of breaks her heart they have turned out like this .she said they told her you treat the younger ones at home a lot better then we got treated they seem to get more. it sounds like to me they do not care about the other little ones or mom.
@spalladino (17922)
• United States
15 Mar 09
She needs to sit the older ones down and tell them that she can no longer lend them money so not to aks her for any more loans. These kids seem to have made your friend part of their regular income plan and it needs to stop. Since they're so used to turning to her, though, she should warn them so they can make better plans. My son and my husband's son used to borrow from us all the time. For a while my son would pay us back but then he stopped and my husband's son never paid us back, so we don't loan them a dime anymore no matter what they say. We're not mean about it...we just tell them that we don't have it. Your friend needs to start doing the same thing and eventually this will stop.
• United States
15 Mar 09
yea i think your correct on that if they see that they may fall short they may want to pick up a part time job or some thing.with there mom having other childern still at home she cant be doing this and i think it is kind of direspectful of them.thanks for your comment
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
10 Apr 09
I guess she need to talk to her kids and tell them and explain to them her expenses and bills considering she has small ones to feed and take care...I am sure they will understand her..If she kept on giving them for sure they are thinking that it was just okay and that she has all the money to support to them whenever they need one!
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
21 Mar 09
I don't think there is anything wrong in asking money from your parents. Afterall they are your parents. I think family members should help each other, no matter how old they are. About the current situation, one has to know whether the children are really in need of money. Or are they asking money in order to enjoy. If there is no emergency then your friend needs to give their choldren some good advice.