Do you do his laundry?

@jesssp (2738)
Canada
March 17, 2009 7:13pm CST
I've lived with my fiance for over three years and we each do our own laundry. I figure that since we both work and we both pay half the bills we should each do our own laundry and the household tasks should also be divided evenly. How did your laundry situation work when you first moved in together and how has it changed over the years? Did you just accept all the housework from the start, even things that were strictly 'his' like laundry, or was it divvied up from the beginning? Did it change once you had children or when you got married?
5 people like this
38 responses
@Aurone (4757)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I did my ex-husband's laundry the whole time we were together. I also did most of the housework and I was the one with a job making money. I could never get him to help me out and that was one reason why our marriage fell apart.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Oh, that was too much of him. What did he do if you did everything else? Just lie around the house and wait for you to come home so that he can order you around?? It would have been understandable if he was the primary breadwinner.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Definitely makes sense that's he's an ex husband now.
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4757)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Sad thing is he walked out on me.
@katsmeow1213 (28872)
• United States
18 Mar 09
We've always combined our laundry. It's just easier that way. I can't see us each having seperate piles for our dirty clothes... and how do you divide up the misc laundry like towels, wash clothes, beddings that you both use? I agree that if you're living together it's fine to divide up the chores... but I just can't justify dividing the laundry. I'd rather we take turns doing the household laundry, our clothing included. Of course in my house dividing chores or taking turns doing laundry just doesn't exist, lol! I do it all. I honestly can't remember the last time he did laundry, and if I left it to him, it would never get done. I don't normally complain, there's only a few times it really bothers me, and that's usually my extremely stressful days. But I'm a stay at home mom, so the house and the kids are my job. His job is to provide for us, fix stuff around the house, and the occasional odd chore I ask him to do. Back when we first moved in together and both worked, we actually made a list of chores we each did. We'd take turns cooking, doing dishes, changing the litter, etc. Basically whatever he did yesterday, I'd do today. Our list of chores included things like bathing my son and spending play time with him too. That list didn't last long.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
'That list didn't last long', haha. They never do, do they? When we have kids and I am at home of course I will start doing his laundry, even when he's past his first year in his apprenticeship and making way more money and things aren't as even I probably will. Right now his only 'chores' are doing his laundry and cleaning the cat litter (plus dishes and stuff now and then and taking out the garbage) so he really isn't that hard done by. I do all the common laundry (towels, sheets etc) and I have my hamper in our bedroom while his lives in his closet. The biggest reason we do them separately is his are really dirty from working in the field and mine are all dress clothes so I don't want them mixed together. Some of that oilfield goo remains a permanent fixture on fabric!
• United States
19 Mar 09
Oh, I totally understand. When hubby and I were working at Pizza Hut, I'd have to wash our work clothes seperate from anything else. There was this smell about our work clothes, even after we washed them. Not a pizza smell, not really a smell I can explain, probably just a grease smell if you can imagine that. That smell would never come out, and if I washed our work clothes with anything else, everything would have that smell. But with my husband.. even if I did work, if I tried to make him do his own laundry it would never get done! He's a typical guy. He doesn't mind taking a dirty shirt out of the dirty clothes basket and wearing it all week long!
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
Ya, mine's like that to. It's part of my effort to break him of those pesky man habits. So far it's working OK but sometimes I get the feeling that just doing it myself would almost be easier than trying to break him in!
• United States
18 Mar 09
Laundry Day - Who's turn is it to do the laundry
I have a question for you, when you two finally decide to tie the knot will you still have the same routine. I was my husband's clothes and I did even before we got married. I understand the splitting stuff in half but I think that is just a little to much. But my kids that is a whole neither issue. My 2 oldest ones do wash their own clothes, I feel they need the know how plus that is part of their chores,because when I met my husband he didn't know how to even separate colors from whites plus his mom was washing his clothes. Oh but don't think he don't help with the washing now. I showed him how so whenever I can't get to wash the clothes he have to step up. But other then that thing are 50/50 in my house. We both work but everything comes in 1 household so theres no need for the divining of anything in my home.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
No, it won't change when we're married - the only thing that will change then is my last name, lol. It probably won't change until we have kids and I'm at home. Right now we both work all day and we both pay equal shares of the expenses. My fiance only has a few household chores that are 'his' - his own laundry and cleaning the cat litter. He does other things too but when in comes to washing the floors, cleaning the bathroom, making the bed, the common laundry etc that's all me. So really him having to do a few loads of his own laundry a week isn't unreasonable. His clothes are very dirty from working in the oilfield and mine are all dress clothes so they can't be smooshed into the hamper together and mine only need cold water and his warm so they do have to be done separately. I see no reason why he can't do his own at this point in time.
• United States
18 Mar 09
I see. Oh mines cant do the bathroom at all he knows the bathroom isn't for him he can't clean it like its suppose to done LOL so I do agree with you there. Actually, he's good for helping my boys take the garbage out and do the dishes.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
LOL, ya, men just plain don't get the bathroom!
• United States
19 Mar 09
wow, you have a good thing going on. very smart of you to keep laundry duty seperate. when and if you two marry you will be better off. so many times the woman winds up with doing all the laundry. i know when my husband and i first got together we did laundry together but it became more one-sided as time went on. i do all the laundry now! sometimes he would do it but i didn't like the way he did mine so I took the easier way out and now I do it all! he helps with household chores but basically acts like it is my "job" and he's "helping" me. uuuggghhh!
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
24 Mar 09
I've done a pretty good job of keeping him rather independent on the house work front so far. I really don't have a whole lot of room to complain, he is pretty great!
• United States
18 Mar 09
I usually do all the laundry for my partner and I. It's not that he's not willing to help, but I'm a bit particular about the way I like things washed and how I formulate loads, etc. I also find that we do fewer loads of wash when we combine laundry, so it saves us time and money putting our things together. We used to separate laundry, but now it's just much easier to keep it all together.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
24 Mar 09
I hear ya about doing fewer loads. We have to do ours separately because my clothes are dress clothes and his are really dirty work clothes but I wait until I have enough for a whole load until I wash mine. I purposely have a large sock and underwear wardrobe so I don't have to do a load because I run out of either!
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
18 Mar 09
My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we still do our own laundry. I mainly do our son's laundry as well mostly because I think I take more care of our clothes then my husband does (he is a guy and doesn't really care to use spray and wash! lol) It has always been like this for us and he really doesn't want me to do his laundry so I don't!
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
24 Mar 09
Yep, that's the we are too but I guess you and I are the exception. I can't imagine him washing my clothes! I would have a whole closet of shrunken pants and stretched out sweaters!
@Bibbie (3)
18 Mar 09
My Fiencee does all the laundry and housework. I only cook and feed the animals. I work full time and my partner 1/2 time but we earnt he same so he has more spare time than me and he loves to clean and i hate it so were suited perfectly i think? :)
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
Sounds fair to me!
• China
18 Mar 09
We just got married for 1 month, of course i do his laundry. yes, you can work and both pay half the bills of yours, but can you require half of the child who you are going to have? Living with each other or getting married means you are a family now. you must make "2" become "1". So try to do his laundry can show your love for him. Happy mylotting!
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
I do lots of things to show him I love him every day, I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel about him without me doing his laundry!
@callarse1 (4787)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Nope not married so I cannot say what will happen. Don't have a fiance either. I do my own clothes since I started. I believe it was in elementary school sometime, perhaps when I was about ten years old. At that time I didn't do all of them but I did do some. When I got a little older I started doing all my clothes. Now I wash my own clothes. They don't know how to wash the clothes. They usually put the dyer on full heat (I always use lowest setting). They usually wash it as heavy duty in washer while I use gentle (delicate) cycle. They'll use warm water for things that need to be washed in cold water. I've had clothes shrunk and clothes faded. I'd rather wash my OWN clothes rather than have someone else, be it parents, girlfriend or wife. Hehehe. Pablo
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
I agree, I would rather wash my own clothes too. I know which items can be put in the dryer, which can't, stuff like that. Having someone else do it and shrink my clothes or stretch them out would really bug me!
@Adelida2233 (1005)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I've always just done my boyfriend's and my laundry together. It just seems weird to have two seperate laundry baskets. Whoever notices that there is a full load in the hamper starts the laundry, and I usually end up being the one to take it out, fold it, and put it away. We both do our fair share of laundry though, so it comes out about even.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
That makes perfect sense to me! Our clothes have to be in separate hampers because his are really dirty from work and mine are all dress clothes.
@maezee (42129)
• United States
18 Mar 09
When I lived with my boyfriend for a very short stint (about four months until we split), I did my own laundry and he had his dry cleaned - so as you can imagine, we took care of our own business. Perhaps thats why it didn't work out. . I haven't ever been engaged or married to someone before, though, so I can't really answer your question in full. [em]lol[/eM].
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
When I lived with my ex he insisted on doing his own laundry. I have no idea why, he was really weird about stuff like that. It always seemed like he was hiding something - even with the most mundane things. I think separate laundry was a habit that carried over to our living situation now. That and the fact that my fiance's clothes are too dirty to be in the hamper w/ mine!
@dragon54u (31620)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I had a very traditional marriage. I stayed home with the children and did all the housework, laundry and some of the simple home repairs. He went to work every day, usually 10+ hours, and I had a nice dinner on the table when he came home. I could really have used some help when the kids were very young but he wasn't home much.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I'm hoping that by the time we have kids my man will be far enough in his chosen field that he won't have to put in really long hours. Of course you do what you have to do but a little help is nice. He grew up having a dad that was always working and I think he is really concerned about not being the same way.
@Porcospino (31594)
• Denmark
18 Mar 09
My fiance does the laundry for both of us, so I am very lucky, and I really appreciate that. When I was living with my ex-boyfriend I did the landry for both of us for years, and he had a lot of landry as he worked in more than one place and had different clothes for each job. I started doing his laundry when I moved in with him, but we divided the household duties between us. I hate to cook so he cooked for us and I cleaned and did the landry. I didn't mind in the beginning, but after a while I got a bit tired of doing lots of laundry every week, especially because we didn't have our own washing-machine.
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I can see how it would be a pain if you didn't have your own washing machine. Sounds like you've got it pretty good now though.
18 Mar 09
Yes I do my partners laundry! I like the way you do things with your partner but I'm a stay at home Mum so that is my job now! I can't remember what it was like before we had children. I think I have been doing it from the beginning, I'm not sure if he knows how to do the laundry!
@jesssp (2738)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
When we have kids it will definitely become my job too!
• United States
22 Mar 09
To be honest my mom always did my wash so my hubby had to teach me how to do it. We'd do our own wash as needed when we lived in our apartment or we would do it togeather at the laundrymat. But since I've become a stay-at-home mom I've always been the one to do it. Upon occasion hubby would do some wash to help me catch up as I can't always attend to the wash as much as I'd like with my kids. As the minute I hear furniture move I know I have to drop everything and head upstairs & plumbing issues doesn't always help things any further ya know. But I do expect him to be able to open his mouth and tell me if he's running low on work uniforms as he doesn't always throw them down the chute but mixes them up with clean and I have no idea some times what's what ya know...
@twoey68 (13650)
• United States
20 Mar 09
Since Hubby and I first started living together I've done the household things. When we first started out we lived in an apartment and had to go to the laundry room to do laundry. He'd help carry it over and back and we'd fold it together. Later when we got our own machines I took care of it. I don't mind...laundry is actually one of the chores I like to do. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
19 Mar 09
I wash and put away his laundry. It's easier than buying new socks every time his come out pink! I've gotten mad at him for not helping with dishes, but it's a trade off. I don't much want to help change oil or work in the garage. I get kinda mean when I hit my finger with a hammer. He does take turns with the vacuum cleaner, and we work together on shaving the dogs. He does his while I hold it, and I do mine while he holds it. I don't like housework, but I don't want to 'share' in the outside work!
@cher913 (25844)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
my hubby and i have been married for 21 years and i have done and still do all of his laundry. he works full time and i work part time, so i have more time. not fair you say? well he does all of our cooking, so it all works out in the end.
@dawnald (84485)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Mar 09
We do divide the tasks but not quite like that. For example, I do all the laundry because I like doing it. He does all the vacuuming because he doesn't mind and it hurts my back. We both do dishes. When I cook he usually does most of them and when he cooks I mostly do. Just depends. No way, no how am I stuck with all the housework!
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
18 Mar 09
When me and my husband first moved in together, I did all the laundry at once. Instead of running the machine for small loads, and more loads. Doing two or three is alot better and saves times and money than doing 6 loads. Now, that I have kids, our laundry has gone up but it's still done all together.