Isn’t it pure selfishness feeling sad , grumble and lament when you miss someone

I would say YES and NO, both. We must not to selfish to not let go someone for his/her happiness. That would be real selfishness. And when he/she is gone, missing that person is beautiful. More than a grumble and lament I would say its an undefinable feeling that not only forces us to remember fond memories, happy times but also makes us miss that person more. Had there been no happy moments would we have missed someone that much!

It's true Bala and at the same time it's a cycle. We miss someone feel sad, then remember the happy and great times together, feel happy, then wish for those happy times again and feel sad again.

I don't think it's selfish at all, I think it's perfectly natural. We did not love someone, we would not want to be with someone, and if we did not want to be with someone, we would not miss someone. I'd say that not missing someone would be a sign that we did not love them in the first place.

Yes, instead be being selfish, we should savor and cherish those moments, which we spent with that dear person. We can always pep ourselves up recalling the time spent with our dear one. However, I partially disagree with your iniitial statement because if 'missing someone' is termed as 'selfishness' then it is alright because hopefully, whom we are missing at any moment, he may also be 'missing' us and feeling sad about it.

Hi bala, it is as you say selfish, yet when someone passes it is the physical being whom is missed, they are still with us in spirit but those who aren't sensitive will not realise that...the person who had gone wether broken up in a relationship or passed on should be remembered for the good times as there is always some..no matter how hard the relationship was...littleowl

I am currently missing my husband. He has been away for 14 days now and won't be back until the second week of April. I can't help feeling sad because we are not together but I felt it would be selfish for me if I impose that he look for another job that won't require him to travel often. I know that those travel gives him fulfillment in his career and whatever success he is having is also his intention of giving me a financially comfortable life.

ya but it is so difficult to let go.once we know they are in a better place,we shouldnot grumble.i think its human nature to think about the good times one has spent with the loved ones and sob.

I don't know that I can agree with you on this one, balasri. I have loss and deeply missed too many people in my life to believe that the gut wrenching pain of losing someone you love is nothing short of horrific and never meant for the human being to experience. When God created us, we were meant to live forever. It is only through the penalty from sin that we have to endure any type of painful separation.

You are so right, bala. It is much better to focus on the the happy moments and be thankful for the time you had with them. Better to focus on the people around you now and honor the people you miss with happy thoughts and memories.

Hmm, I havent really thought about it that way.. but I dont think that its selfish to care enough about someone that you miss them. It becomes selfish if you dont genuinely care about the person..or maybe you do but when, in your words, you think about the pleasure that you feel when being with that person. Now, that is selfish. Its kinda like using that particular person as a medium for one's own happiness.

I think it's somewhat really how life is - it's our instinct to preserve our own happiness so we don't like it when we're taken apart from the people who make us happy. Especially if it means losing them forever. Thanks for the response on my discussion!

Hello balasri! I miss my husband so much. We've been away for 7 months now and all I want is to be with him. Yes, it's my pleasure to be with him and I need to be with him it is because I love him. You don't want to be with the person you don't love, right? You have your point there. Why not think all the happiest moments that we've been together? I did that but the problem is that everytime I think of him and think of our good memories together the more I want to be with him.

Yes I feel sad when i miss my dear one.And I have found out a way to cope with it.I think of all the good things we have done.the happy moments,the time i spent with her and it really helps me overcome my grief.it is not bad to be sorry when you miss someone dear.It is natural.In this world everybody wants pleasure.we stay with our friends because of the pleasure we get from their company.We take up jobs so that we can have the pleasures of the world.If you don't want pleasure there is no point in living,mate

Yup I agree with you. We should savor the happy moments we shared with that person, and not dwell on the fact that we miss them badly. Most people tend to only feel the loneliness more than cherish the good moments with their loved ones. I always try to think positively in any aspect if I can. You will only feel sad, somber and lonely if you focus on the missing feeling.

Hi Balasri I think it is a normal human reaction that you nag, grumble and feel sad when you miss the company of a loved one. It is a normal feeling that you despise the fact that a person is no longer with you. Yes cherising the beautiful moments you had together is a good idea and might make you feel better in the long run.