Does they guy need to buy the girl EVERYTHING

United States
March 22, 2009 2:20pm CST
My friend said that my boyfriend is not a good guy because I will sometimes pay for him. He pays for me sometimes too, but I have a job and he doesn't (yes he is looking) This is a new age and I don't really mind paying for him or buying things for him sometimes. Is the man supposed to buy for the woman all the time? Is there something wrong with me doing it?
2 people like this
28 responses
@katfish86 (146)
22 Mar 09
I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with the girl paying for things in a relationship. I think my boyfriend and I have a good balance, we'll either go halves on things, like if we go out for dinner or whatever, and sometimes one of us will "treat" the other. I think it's a good way to be in a relationship, then you don't feel like you owe the other person or whatever.
1 person likes this
@Elegant7 (142)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I don't think males should always have to pay for the females. My personal opinion is that if they're the one to ask you out on a date then yes, they should be the one to pay for it. However, if you ask, then you should pay. Either that or splitting the bill works as well. Yes, this is a new age and a woman can hold her own now. It's just nice when a guy pays, it doesn't mean that he has to though--as long as he doesn't take advantage of the female paying.
• United States
23 Mar 09
I think if they ask they should pay, at least at first. Unlike my ex who bought a whole bunch of expensive food and dumped the bill on me. And he HAD a job!
@sisco100 (2344)
• United States
22 Mar 09
heck no. personally i think that if a woman cant pay for her own things some times it just means to me that she doesnt know how to be independent. there are times where its find for us guys to pay for things but it doesnt mean that we should have to pay for everything that they want. there are guys that like to do that "sugar daddies". i'm a guy that likes to spend money on girls but it takes a lot for me to even consider doing that for them. personally it should be a mutual thing between both the guy and the girl. it shouldnt be just one or the other paying for every thing unless they like doing that.
• United States
24 Mar 09
While I don't agree that it makes a girl seem like she cant be independant. I do agree tthat not all men sould have to be sugar daddies. It should be mutual.
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
Hello babytaffster, for me i don't have a problem if i do pay something for my hubby. Anyway he does that all the time with me since he is my breadwinner and i am depending on him . But i would be glad if i would spend something for him and that's one of the reasons why i stay here in Mylot. I am saving money and earning at the same time. Being a stay at home Home maker, i have to do extra money not only for saving in the future but also for keeping me busy , and not to get bored. But the issue of giving is not a problem to me. The better you give than to receive. And i am sure what other Mylotters have to say on giving is right. Happy Mylotting to you!
@darsa123 (36)
• United States
23 Mar 09
go dutch! i refused to let my now husband pay for everything when we were first together. i didnt want to rely on a guy i am an independant women who believes very much in equality to a point. i am a stay at home mom now, and my hubby loves it. he is old fashioned and believes the man should take care of the family and the women should take care of the house and children. i have to agree with him, i dont think anyone should raise my kids but me. while now he pays for everything we both have a job to do. his is more difficult physically as he is in construction but mine is just as hard mentally. if your broke, he should pay and if hes broke you should for now. fair is fair in the world and there should always be a balance of some sort or another.
23 Mar 09
Nothing wrong with that! Especially because your the one that has a job. If i had a job I would so spoil my boyfriend hehe. Both are equal in the relationship. My boyfriend even wants me to pay for stuff sometimes, but I hardly do because I have no money. He just just gets money from these premium bonds thing. Dont worry what your friend thinks! It's not right of her to think that of a guy.
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
23 Mar 09
There's absolutly NOTHING wrong with you footing the dinner bill here and there or split equally or whatever. Now, if he made you pay all the time or you made him pay all the time, then there's an issue in my mind. When my fiance and I started dated he did pay for the majority of things, but that's because he wanted to. I have a little girl and he'd just tell me I have more important things to spend my money on. You do what you're comfortable with... and if you're comfortable with buying him things or taking the 2 of you out to dinner... then don't listen to your friend.
@snow8515 (170)
• China
23 Mar 09
I think boyfriend paying money for girlfriend is quite normal. There is a little problem if you always pay for him. However, he hasn't earning now. So I think it doesn't matter as long as he isn't a lazy person.
@gxyywhyzy (450)
• China
23 Mar 09
i think no matter who goes to pay,if you're loved each other.but it's much easier for him to pay for his girlfriend. here It's very kind of you.i like you very much.
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
No, I personally think it's normal for girls to do the same things guys so. So they foot the bill sometimes. Let's foot some of 'em, too. Letting him buy every single thing may let you pass as a dependent girlfriend, or him as a sugar daddy, which isn't always the case.
• Indonesia
23 Mar 09
ehm..its not always good nor always bad. but if u always buy him his needs then that's the wrong part. if its only sometimes, and u both doin it together i mean he sometimes buy things for u, then its fair enough for me. but he has to get a job soon, at least he try instead of just waiting for u to buy something for him. coz man does have to work.. me n my man do that too, we both sometimes buying things or give a presents each other, not only in a special occations but anytime we want to n feel like it. im working n he hasnt yet, he still study actually. but since he came from a wealthy family so he has no financial problem. i never want to relay on him in my every needs, i want to fulfill my own needs with my own money. but he used to give me something and he not allowed me to reject his gift.
• India
23 Mar 09
Hi, I think every time paying for girls by guys is now old age concept. as today if we r saying guys and girls are equal they should have equal rights then paying by girls for a guy is not abnormal in now days. yes but i'll never say a guy should always depend on girls as he needs to earn for himself and should spend money by himself on his needs not by girls. but once in a while its ok to pay by girls for him not for every time. Thanks for this topic. Have a gr8 day ahead.
• China
23 Mar 09
It a new era for us.so we needn't care about other guy's opinion. The only thing we need to do is do whatever we want to do.enjoy our life.
@carann (262)
• United States
23 Mar 09
First don't always go by friends. If it feels right what your doing then its right for you both as a couple. He is unemployed and looking. That is diffrent from unemployed and not caring because you can suport him. I see nothing wrong in taking turns paying. Or paying half. The guy paying for everything goes way back to the days before women worked much outside the home. You are doing nothing wrong.
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
its case to case basis...but in your case there not wrong buying things for him.. its the thing that u have thats why you give... but when ur boyfriend already have jobs maybe he can buy something for you in return... the relationships does not work in the things you have gived... its the love that you both can show to each other.. just give and take... trust and love is the key to a succesful relationship..
@hanah87 (1842)
• Malaysia
23 Mar 09
I think not.But better ask your bf find a job.Do you want to be a husband and work and he become a housewife?It is a weird today....
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
It is okey to buy things for your guy. It is not always the guy who will buy things for you especially if he doesn't have a job. I guess, it is better if the guy has a job too so you won't end up spending much for him.
@SomeCowgirl (32264)
• United States
23 Mar 09
When my fiance and I first met I had a job and he didn't, now neither of us do. I paid for him on a few things, but he was always telling me I didn't have to. I don't think their's anything wrong with a girl paying for a guy as long as the guy is okay with it.
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
the answer is no. personally, i dont really like it when a guy spends too much on me.. it's like, they're waiting for something in return.. but that's just me.. i know sometimes it's in a man's nature to "have to" treat a girl like a princess or a queen or something but it's not like they really should.. it's really up to the guy.. and yeah, it should be more like equal.. in your case, you have a reason.. i too had been in the same question wherein basically i had to provide most of my guy's needs until he gets a job.. the important is you're helping him look for one.. (you know, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime or something like that).. it's sweet if guys buy things for us right.. but i think it's sweeter if girls buy stuff for their guys too right.. more important is, no one is abusing or getting abused.. know what i mean.. like, he's dependent on you or something..
• Philippines
23 Mar 09
the guy need not buy everything for the girl because this is a new modern age now. But if the girl has a job,she may treat sometimes but not always.