I Suspended My Wife For One Year
By Eweniks
@Eweniks (361)
Nigeria
March 27, 2009 3:26pm CST
Recently, I had a problem with my wife. I returned from training abroad and saw my wife pregnant, which is not mine. This made me send her home to stay with her parents for one year. That's just a punishment I feel is ideal for her, instead of divorce. I am now with my kids. My younger sister now takes care of kids. She do everthing just as my wife, because she has lived with us for 3 years. The problem now is that one day, I returned from work and received a note dropped by a lady, who call herself Edna asking for my permision to visit me at my office for an important discussion. The following day, I got another from Sandra, sympathising with me on my wife's unfaithfulness. She ended the message with an invitation to a popular hotel in the city. I turnned down these requests. One month passed, i didn't respond, then sandra decided to come to my house and wait for to return from work. Immediately I came in she welcomed me with a wonderful smile,which I can't describe with words. As I was changing my clothes, my son came in and said, "Dad, she has been here for 2 hrs". I went to siting room to meet her. I quickly thanked her for the letter she sent. She said it's ok. She started by saying, "sir how can you cope without a woman in your house?" I quickly answered, what about that? She went on to open up to that she is very much interested in taking care of my kids since my wife is longer with me. Meaning that she wants me to marry her. For 2 weeks now, I have received three of such request from 3 different ladies. Please, help me. What do I do?
5 people like this
32 responses
@jands1 (835)
• United States
27 Mar 09
Interesting situation Ewenkis. I am not sure as to why you are seeking advice on how to handle the proposals from the three different ladies. Your heart is obviously already set on divorcing your wife and accepting a new wife. Otherwise you would not have let yourself be put into the situation in which any of these other greedy opportunistic women would be able to indicate their desire to be your wife.
Be careful Eweniks. Such women that are so overt in their intentions when you are already married, are women of low caliber. They will not make good wives because they seek always to find another man that will be richer and/or more important.
As for your lawful wife, I do not dare presume the circumstances of her pregnancy. Therefore I can not give my opinion on how to proceed.
All I can say is this: Listen to your mind and your heart because children do not need both parents, only love, compassion and one steady person in their life that will guild them on their way to adulthood.
1 person likes this
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
27 Mar 09
First of all, I felt sorry for your separate with your ex - wife. She is not faithful, so she not worth your attention any longer. Second of all, congratulation on those three ladies. You got their attention, and they certainly admire you for while. Why not take a shot. See which you really like. Get to know them first as a friend. There is no harm. You won't feel guilty on it after all.
1 person likes this
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
28 Mar 09
I don't know what to say. You suspended your wife? You punished her?
I think these three women are the least of your problems. How does sending your wife away for a year fix your marraige? How does it benefit your children not seeing their mother?
I really don't understand. Is this a cultural thing?
I hope you are happy in your life even though I don't understand your reasons.
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
I don't get the point why you just suspended her? Didn't you know that she still has all the advantages while you get all the disadvantages?
1. She will be relieved of the burden of taking care of your kids while enjoying her pregnancy with her baby from another child.
2. She has the chance of seeing the father of the child she is carrying without your knowledge.
3. While she is still married to you, the baby in her womb can use your family name and you can be named as the father of the child. With that, the baby will get whatever benefits your other kids will get.
4. You will be feeding a child not yours, better adopt a stranger and your conscience will be more clear.
5. After her one year suspension, she will return to you and bring with her the baby and you will take care of them both again.
6. While your marriage is still valid, she will get all your financial benefits , ex. retirement
I am a wife but I can't take what your wife did to you. Don't be a martyr. Get back your senses and decide as early as now. If you want to take her back, the suspension is not the solution. If you don't like her anymore, end the marriage. Good luck on whatever decision you will take.
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
27 Mar 09
Who are these women? How do they know that your wife is not there? How can these women expect you to marry them, when you are already married? I do not understand, I guess it is a cultural thing.
As far as what you should do, I think that is simple, tell these women you are not interested because you are married.
After the one year suspension what happens with your wife, and the baby she is having/had by another man?
I think you need to settle the relationship with your wife before you start entertaining these proposals from these women.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Mar 09
Well Eweniks, interesting situation. You 'suspended' your wife for a year so what is your intent when she returns? You said this was better than a divorce so you must be planning on working things out with her?
You must a very attractive man or a well off one or both to have three ladies wanting to marry you. As others here have advised I would ignore these proposals, get your wife back home, sit down with her and sort this out and decide whether to stay together or separate permanently.
Should you decide to stay together you will have a lot of work to do to make things right not forgetting there is an innocent baby here to consider as well as your own children. Marriage is sacred and I would leave no stone unturned before ending it. 
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
29 Mar 09
The decision is yours and yours alone. Does your wife want to reconcile? If she does I would guess it is worth having a shot at sorting things out; it will take time to for her to earn your trust again I would imagine. Only the two of you can make the decision; I'm of the opinion that one should do everything possible to work things out before walking out of a marriage, especially one with children.
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
28 Mar 09
I haven't seen you respond to anyone who has posted on your discussion here, so I'm thinking it's a made up story and even if it's not then you aren't following your marriage vows to your wife I know she cheated on you maybe she had good reason to. And these other women you speak of if this story is real they are only after you for your money if you where poor they wouldn't be wanting to be with you.
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
28 Mar 09
Good day.. Be very wary. I mean first how did these women came to know about your situation? I mean that's eerie right? Who gave them that information? Second., it might be a trap from your wife., letting them try to seduce you and let you make a mistake like she did to even out the playing field and have leverage. Third you must warn your sister and your children to not let anyone came to your home.
This is just my opinion and as far fetched that it may seemed you still need to be careful.
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
27 Mar 09
You must be one hot looking dude. 
Some of these women might be sincere. I find it difficult to comment on the social attitudes of someone in a different country. Personally I would have divorced the wife by now. How do you feel about bringing up another man's child who would remind you each time you see them of your wife's infidelity. I do not envy your position and the decisions you have to make and still have to consider your children in all this.
I do not think it is fair to have your little sister substitute for your wife, she should be getting a life of her own.
Some of these women might be sincere. I find it difficult to comment on the social attitudes of someone in a different country. Personally I would have divorced the wife by now. How do you feel about bringing up another man's child who would remind you each time you see them of your wife's infidelity. I do not envy your position and the decisions you have to make and still have to consider your children in all this.
I do not think it is fair to have your little sister substitute for your wife, she should be getting a life of her own. @zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
28 Mar 09
Give your time to think how to deal with your wife, divorce or continuing marriage. Before legally quitting the existing marriage, do not plunge into another affair, which is likely to add complication, even beyond your control.
Sorry for you, but you had better busy yourself with your career and kids, enough to fill your time.
@cindyhxf (1446)
• China
28 Mar 09
firstly,you should know do you still love your wife.if no love or won't trust her again.then it's better to go divorce and start your new relathionship.you are lucky man to getrequest from 3 different ladies.that means you don't worry that no woman like you.i think what you need to consider more is do you really want from them? or just find a new wife?i am sure you don't want to have a unfaithful wife again.right?just you know what to do.good luck!my friend.
@makeupartisteileen (653)
• Singapore
28 Mar 09
WOW 3 women ...first thing i thought is just a punishment for your wife? you really wanted to married other women? sorry no offense .. cause i feel your wife might still loving you . so do you think you still giving your wife a chance?
if yes you should tell those three women that you still haven't divorce with your wife. and you think you should give your wife a chance or something.
@neenee_916 (16)
• United States
28 Mar 09
who the heck are you.. to where you have 3 proposals..
since you suspended your wife then that means you still love her.. because you said yourself that you didnt want to get a divorce.. and on the otherhand.. it seems like you must have a good job.. or make alot of money.. cuz aint no women gonna want you like that a the same time if your just a regular person..
but to me it seems like a plot and plan against you
say the three women are all sisters and they plan to abduct you and your children so they can steal all your cereal.. because they cant afford their own frootloops!! cased closed
@tucker1986 (1)
• Australia
28 Mar 09
This is insane! i can understand not wanting to lose your wife or the mother of your children but she has committed adultery. Am i wrong in assumming people usually get divorced in these situations. What will happen in a year when your wife comes back from her parents are you simply going to accept a stangers child as your own, pretend your his/her father.
As for the marriage offers from these other women, how the hell do they know anything about your situation to start with? secondly what possesses them to give a marriage proposal to some one they dont know, there has got to be something wrong with them or something else completly going on. perhaps your suspended wife is putting women up to this to find out your reaction.
the whole situation seems very suss, be careful with your wife and certainly tell these women where to go. just my opinion anyway
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
13 Apr 09
I admire you for not resorting to divorce even though what your wife did was really painful. I have no idea how these women found out about your situation, but like you said, its only a year suspension and you have your sister with you. Maybe you can have your calls screened and try to avoid these women as much as you can. You can inform them that your condition with your wife is only temporary and that you will be getting back together after a year so you are not interested in getting a new wife.
@pacepicaso (48)
• United States
28 Mar 09
im sorry to hear you and your wife seperated sometimes people make mistakes i hope everything works out for you in the future
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Apr 09
Maybe your wife is setting you up to prove a point on how hard it is to be alone without succumbing to the affection of another. You don't say how long you were away from your wife. I am not saying that your wife is right to have cheated because she wasn't if in fact that is what she did. Truthfully, If I were your wife and you put me on suspension for a year...I would not be waiting for you at the end of that year. That isn't love at all. Divorce would be the answer for me. The marriage would be over. You have kids together? I do hope you are allowing the kids time with her. They need their mom regardless of the issues that are going on between the two of you. In saying all this ..I am not condoning her cheating at all...just wrong of you to expect her to wait for you. The waiting is probably what drew her into cheating. If you love her...forgive her and work on the marriage. If you don't...let her go.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
28 Mar 09
Firstly I would just like to say that while I do not agree with your wife's unfaithfulness, I still would like to remind you that she is still your wife. Two wrongs do not make a right and by being with another women while you are still married, you would be behaving no better than your wife did. I am sorry that you had to come home to that, being married is about being faithful and loving eachother and it is very obvious that your wife is lacking in both departments. Now it is up to you, no one can make the choice but you. You need to decide if you want to remain with your wife and try to make things work, or you need to divorce and move on. I think that if you do decide to leave your wife, you should take some time to be on your own before jumping into another relationship. If you have your sister to help you out, there should be no rush trying to find a "replacement". I hope that everything works out for you and that you decide what to do and are happy with that decision. Goodluck and happy mylotting.
@billgatexp (912)
• United States
27 Mar 09
what else do you do than call back your wife.. mere looking at those ladies you would find out that they are mere God diggers. so if i were you, i would forget all that transpired between you and your wife and ask her if she is ready to turn a new leaf and if the answer is yes... call her back... period
