If it's all up to you, would you fire a co-worker or not?
By brady2moss
@brady2moss (700)
Singapore
March 30, 2009 3:36am CST
My boss talked to me in private last week regarding the working attitude of one of my female team mate. It would seem she has been working inefficiently and below par the past few months, and has been lying to some of our clients on the status and integrity of her work. Add to that her seemingly non-team oriented approach to everything she does that eventually leads to a confrontation between her and another member of the team(this confrontations sometimes gets really heated up
). Finally my boss told me the main reason why he called me in, he basically wants me to decide if we are to fire her or not, and if I do decide not to fire her, she would be reporting directly to me and will be held accountable for her actions in the future. My boss gave me till the 31st(that's tomorrow
) to make my decision, and that whatever my decision will be he would support it.
It came down to me because I'm the only member of the team(other than my boss) who have yet to have a confrontation with her, and according to my boss, "she thinks highly of me as a senior team mate." I believe she thinks that way because I often helped her out on tight situations before, and she probably feels her life in the office would be a lot easier with me lending a helping hand everytime she needs one. I don't mind helping out, but only if I have the free time, and free time in the office is extremely rare nowadays. Plus her working attitude really is one of the worst I've ever witnessed in my career.
So yeah I'm leaning over firing her, partly because she is a cancer in our team, and partly because I would be held accountable for her actions in the future. You guys might say I'm just trying to wash my hands of all of this situation, which in a way is true, but I do have a family to feed and I can't afford to be dragged down over somebody elses attitude. Of course thinking about firing her gives me a sick feeling as well, coz I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing. Also the fact that it will be very difficult to find a new job these days, bugs me to no end at night. But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, I will let my boss know of my decision to fire her tomorrow after lunch. Do you think I'm doing the right thing here? Have any of you been to this kind of situation before, and how did you handle it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter, cheers!
). Finally my boss told me the main reason why he called me in, he basically wants me to decide if we are to fire her or not, and if I do decide not to fire her, she would be reporting directly to me and will be held accountable for her actions in the future. My boss gave me till the 31st(that's tomorrow) to make my decision, and that whatever my decision will be he would support it.
It came down to me because I'm the only member of the team(other than my boss) who have yet to have a confrontation with her, and according to my boss, "she thinks highly of me as a senior team mate." I believe she thinks that way because I often helped her out on tight situations before, and she probably feels her life in the office would be a lot easier with me lending a helping hand everytime she needs one. I don't mind helping out, but only if I have the free time, and free time in the office is extremely rare nowadays. Plus her working attitude really is one of the worst I've ever witnessed in my career.
So yeah I'm leaning over firing her, partly because she is a cancer in our team, and partly because I would be held accountable for her actions in the future. You guys might say I'm just trying to wash my hands of all of this situation, which in a way is true, but I do have a family to feed and I can't afford to be dragged down over somebody elses attitude. Of course thinking about firing her gives me a sick feeling as well, coz I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing. Also the fact that it will be very difficult to find a new job these days, bugs me to no end at night. But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, I will let my boss know of my decision to fire her tomorrow after lunch. Do you think I'm doing the right thing here? Have any of you been to this kind of situation before, and how did you handle it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter, cheers!5 people like this
25 responses
@cieldz (709)
• Indonesia
31 Mar 09
i think u should fire her....
but can u talk to ur boss to give her some time for change, lets say that 3 days until 1 week...can u talk to her too bout her work and her attitude, if she doesnt change at all, then u can free to fire her...remember that if she really work and loves her job, then she will change, but if she doesnt she wont change at all...
but whatever u choose, ur boss will support u...so good luck..!=)
1 person likes this
@EliFromMN (53)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I think you're making the right choice. You have two resposibilities. First is to family. You have to take care of them above all others. If you don't fire her and you're accountable for her actions, then you put your job in HER hands. Second, you have a responsibility to your clients to give them fair and honest service. They are paying moeny for a service and if they are not recieving it, then that needs to be corrected. It's a tough choice to make, but it's a situation that she put herself in, not you.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there Eli. Yeah it's a really tough decision, I guess it's just my soft side creeping in. You are right though, she did put herself in that situation which is way beyond my control in the first place. Thanks, I'm glad you agreed.
@EliFromMN (53)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Not a problem! That's a situation that really sucks, especially with today's economy. At the same time though, you gotta do what you gotta do. Keep us posted on how things go.
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Mar 09
No if they were a good friend then I would tell them they better clean up there act, it is only fair, and if you are good friends with the person. if they aren't my friend, I still would warn them.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
Hey there marciascott. She has been warned before, so I guess this is inevitable. Thanks for responding.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I have been in a similar situation when I wanted to fire one of my workers for insubordination. When it came to do it I felt some sympathy for him because he has a family. It turned out that he stayed on and I got fired. Cheers!!
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Wow! That wasn't fair. I guess you will know next time.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there underdogtoo. Ok I'm not gonnna make the same mistake as you did
. Thanks for responding.
. Thanks for responding.
@celticeagle (159008)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Mar 09
Well, today is the day dearie. I hear what you are saying. Yes, I have been there before. It is not easy or fun. I think that hearing what your boss said to you must be very fulfilling. That was nice. I think that you should look at it from this stanpoint: If you were the one in this situation how would you want to be treated? I would talk to this person and tell her all the things you mentioned that bothered you about letting her go. I would give her a week or such to change her act and no ifs, and's or buts about it. I think if you have a one on one with her and give her a chance then having to let her go will not be nearly as hard as to just do it out right.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
1 Apr 09
Well she no longer is in the office, the decision was quick and she cleared all her stuffs yesterday. It was termed "forced resignation" so as to open up other opportunities for her in some other company. I tried calling her mobile but there was no reply, but I did read her last email. She apologized for any wrong doing to any of us, and she said "I will learn and rise up from this predicament a better person". It sounds sincere enough, I just hope she means it and really become a better person.
I felt relieved, but the sickness in my stomach still lingers. I hope next time I meet her, she won't hold a grudge on any of us. After all it's "Business as usual". Thanks for everyone that replied, cheers!
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Do you what you gotta do. Your family and financial situation is the priority, it is what you described to me. And you are too afraid that she gonna drag you down with her. So, you think you make a good choice, you gonna just do it right. Don't hesitate in a moment. Tomorrow, go right in your boss' office, and tell him/her what you think. That should be it.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
Hi clorissa. That is one tough task, but I'll be diplomatic about it. Cheers!
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 09
That is a very tough decision that you are going to have to make. You have a family to feed and a boss to please. It would be a good idea to chat to your co-worker and tell her that she needs to work harder and get on well with all her colleagues. if she has another month and doesn't improve she would be expecting to be fired and it wouldn't be a surprise for her.
One of my friends had a job with a computer firm for around eleven months. I advised him to dress in a smart way, arrive at work on time every day and to get on well with all his colleagues. There was one colleague that he didn't get on well with. He was foolish for not trying to get on with that guy. Maybe that was the reason he was fired from that job. Now he works at delivering pizzas and he feels so depressed at the moment.
Good luck with the decision that you have to make. It is excellent that you are thinking about what to do so carefully.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi maximax8. The sad part is, our company won't give her a day much less a week to leave once she gets the pink slip, so I really won't have time to talk to her at all. Also she has this crazy habit of not being in the office most Mondays, and this is just one of those days. If she comes tomorrow, the axe will definitely fall hard on her, gosh I hope she won't take it too bad . Office politics is one thing I really hate the most, it happens just about everywhere. Case in point, the situation I'm in, and your unfortunate friend. To be honest, sometimes it's better to just go with the flow. I hope your friend finds a better job soon, and do help him recover from his depression. Cheers!
. Office politics is one thing I really hate the most, it happens just about everywhere. Case in point, the situation I'm in, and your unfortunate friend. To be honest, sometimes it's better to just go with the flow. I hope your friend finds a better job soon, and do help him recover from his depression. Cheers!
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I think your boss is the one washing his hand over the responsibility of having her. Putting you 'in-charge' of her if you do decide to not fire her is obviously him trying to put blame on others instead of him taking control of the whole situation. I'm even thinking now that he'd request you to tell her she's fired! hehe..
Anyway, I'm guessing too that regardless what you do decide on, he's already decided to fire her anyway, he's just dragging you in the picture so as to be on the 'safe' side.
However, since that's not the point whatsoever, if I were to decide, I would fire her. Simply because, as you have fervently mentioned, she's like the 'cancer' in your team. I wouldn't hesitate one bit of firing her, since she's obviously not doing her part of the deal anyways.
People do tell me I'm ruthless in these types of areas, but I do believe that firing someone shouldn't be treated as something emotional because you are not firing the person per se, you are firing the attitude of that person stating that her attitude and ways won't work in the organization you are with. Period. If she does value her job, confrontations with the team mates should be a warning sign for her that she needs to change. But I'm curious though, you mentioned that apart from you and your boss, she's been having heated frictions with other team members, hasn't anyone in the organization (particularly the boss or the Human Resource person) ever addressed her attitude problems?? They should have done that so as to 'warn' her in case she's too numb to decipher that she's truly a 'cancer' in the organization.
Anyhow, I'd fire her. Provided, the boss won't drag my @$$ to cover for his supposedly AUTHORITY to dismiss a employee on his own in the first place. PERIOD.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hey there laydee. Gee you are one ruthless laydee, but I totally agree with what you just said about firing someone, I just wish this sick feeling I get in my stomach subsides soon. This obviously is my first time to fire someone, who knows I may become ruthless the next time around(on second thought...) Well I believe my boss talked to her a couple of months before, and I'm assuming it's some sort of a warning. It would seem the message was either not direct to the point, or was completely ignored. Whatever the case, it has come to this. Cheers!
, but I totally agree with what you just said about firing someone, I just wish this sick feeling I get in my stomach subsides soon. This obviously is my first time to fire someone, who knows I may become ruthless the next time around(on second thought...) Well I believe my boss talked to her a couple of months before, and I'm assuming it's some sort of a warning. It would seem the message was either not direct to the point, or was completely ignored. Whatever the case, it has come to this. Cheers!
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
30 Mar 09
if it was up to me i would. i even fired my own brother in law before. of course he was like but we're family. not when it comes to work. work is work.
so if she isnt doing what she should and it's your job then i would. but if its not your place i would let the boss do it
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there syankee. You fired your own brother in law? You are right though, work is work, I should have the guts to do what is right. Cheers!
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Hi brady2moss! I'm in management so I know what your going through. There are times when we have to make choices on a professional level and our personal feelings just can not get in the way of it. If this lady has been spoken with on prior occasions about her shortcomings and her attitude at work..out with her. If not then she should be talked to and given the chance to change. It seems a little unfair to put this decision on you..kind of like he wants someone else to make the call for him. It's really not your responsibility to have to make this choice. I can't believe he would hold you in account for her actions either. I would definately tell the boss you'll go along with whatever he decides and if he would like you to help her you will...but...you don't want to be held responsible for her shortcomings or his decision to fire her. I'm thinking this is a no winner for you either way so the best thing I can say is you should put the ball back in the boss's lap. Just my opinion though.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
Hi Jen. Thanks, coming from someone like you who knows about management and stuff, this is a valuable piece of info. I never really thought of passing the responsibility back to my boss as I was preoccupied with the decision that needs to be made. It's probably too late now. Cheers!
@surveytaker29345 (489)
• United States
30 Mar 09
I think that if it were up to me, I would fire her. She does not seem to have the proper attitude which will affect other employees. You also said she is not working up to the standards of the company. These are reasons enough to fire her. I also think that there are many people not working at this time. These people are educated and are just looking to fill a position. They are more likely to appreciate the job and work to the standards that are expected. In my opinion, the company should give the job to someone who deserves it.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
Hi there surveytaker. You're probably right, and I'm guessing my boss is thinking the exact same thing. Cheers!
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
30 Mar 09
Hi brady...This is a tough situation you're in. I don't envy you at all. But you are right - there are many factors which go into this decision - not only her work ethic but how she interacts with everyone. And if you will be in charge of her from now on how will that affect you? And if it is totally up to you how do you know she won't bring you down also? After all you have to think about yourself and your family also. It's not an easy decision. However if you truly believe that her attitude cannot be changed then you have to fire her to bring harmony back to the office. I once had a boss who didn't hire based solely on knowledge or experience. He said that any intelligent person can be taught new skills, especially in an office setting. However you can't teach harmony.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
31 Mar 09
Hi there deejean. I agree with your boss, in fact our company hires based on capability, adaptability, and manageability. How she got in, I just don't know. Thanks.
@r0nwaren (39)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Maybe she needs a break. After a break for a few days and she is still a pain in the neck, go ahead and fire her. My experience in the office told me so.I have a female colleague and just love taking breaks,comes to the office late, does her make-up during office hours, and loves whining all the time. My boss was in the same foot like you did but, know what? It pays to fire someone worth not keeping than sacrifice the whole workplace. Goodluck to you.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there ronwaren. Sadly our company's tolerance on such matter is rather short, so it has come to this. Thanks, now I'm feeling a little bit better on my decision.
@lancerie (63)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I think this one is too fast, in my experience I was given a week to decide what to do. To talk to her then give her and test her for a couple of days, then its time for you to decide. But in this case you don't have choice, you say that your on neutral side so you have to do this on a assertive way. You have to collect all the data of her performance for you to show to her when you talk to her. It's not your fault to terminate her, she's the one who's responsible for her action.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there lancerie. Thanks for the advice, now I'm really feeling a lot better.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Well since you will be held accountable for her actions, which I feel is unfair because it would be different if she was family and all but she isn't and if you are held accountable that means you and she both can lose your jobs if she acts out again and your life will be worse because then everyone will be running to you with complaints about her.. so it is just easier like picking the scab off fast just to get it over with and then you won't have to worry about losing your job because of someones else's actions.
Good luck..
Good luck.. @malsun (1528)
• United States
31 Mar 09
I think you should not feel guilty about firing her. At work, you are only loyal to your job and if the person has been under performing and violating the integrity of her position, there is no question you are doing the right thing.
@karbuks (270)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
well, if im at your place, i will really find it difficult to decide. there are also people in our office who seem to know everything despite its ineffeciency in their own work. but If i am in your situation,better fire her before she'll get worse and besides she is not honest when dealing with some of you clients, if this will continue, maybe you will lose some of your clients in the future because of her doing. Most importantly, her character, she dont know how to adjust to her officemates. shes not at all flexible. If there is always confrontation in your office because of her, then how can you maintain the harmony in it. Goodluck to you!
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there karbuks. Yeah it sucks when there is no harmony in the team, specially during team meetings, you can literally cut the tension in the air. Thanks!
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
30 Mar 09
We only have your view of this, but from what I see above:
. working inefficiently and below par the past few months
. non-team oriented approach to everything
. her working attitude really is one of the worst I've ever witnessed in my career
. she is a cancer in our team
That pretty much sums it up: she's gone. Did your boss give an opportunity to give her a 'final warning' of some sort? Putting a person on probation for a month or so, after an honest discussion of what the problems are, can sometimes make a difference. Maybe it won't in this case.
Does she know the things you mention above? Does she understand she's not appreciated, and why? Maybe there's a particular reason she sucks at the job. Then again, maybe she just sucks!
Being kind and generous is a good thing, but you should never put your career on the line for someone who isn't willing to make the effort to change. Telling her what's wrong and giving her a bit of time to sort it out would help with the guilty feelings, but you might not have the choice. If it needs a definite, immediate decision, play safe.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi there spike. Well I remember a couple of months ago the boss called her in and talked to her for like the whole day, I'm just not sure what they discussed in there. All I know is after that meting with the boss, she seemed a bit relaxed which lasted for a couple of weeks or probably less. You know what? I'm kinda afraid of finding out what's really bugging her, or why she sucks at work. If she has some sort of serious personal problem we all were not aware of, I'm probably not gonna sleep sound the next couple of weeks .
. @evans_33ke (125)
• United States
30 Mar 09
You seem to be in a very tricky situation. I guess your company has policies and the policies include non performing employees and how to deal with them. Just ask your boss to schedule a meeting with all of you whereby you will be able to air the problems that all of you go through working together and this way you will be able to give stun warnings to the non performing colleagues as well as get to know from them why they are not performing.
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hey there evans. It's a very tricky situation indeed. It's not really a policy, but our company has a habit of getting rid of employees not performing at par with the rest. It's not a common thing, but the company demands a lot from us employees. We actually have team building exercises, but we have yet to have an open forum airing each others concerns or problems. It probably won't happen anytime soon, as people in this part of the world aren't really as open to such situations. Cheers!
@irenebelle (116)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
Give her still a chance if she still want to work on your team. Give him piece of advices so that he will know what should be changed in him. After a week or two thats the time you can decide if the result of your conversation took effect...
Give chance to others so that you not be unfair. After having the results these is now the time to decide... Talk to your boss first so that all of the things ur teammate will dowould not be accountable to u for just a week...
@brady2moss (700)
• Singapore
30 Mar 09
Hi Irenebelle. You know what, I was thinking along that line as well, just one more chance, but a week or two won't cut it in our line of biz. It'll take at least 3 months to assess her performance, and by then it may be a little too late to get back to our normal groove, the damage done may be catastrophic. Suffice to say it's a gamble I'm not willing to take. Thanks for the advice though, cheers.
1 person likes this
