Holding your child to much will spoil them ?

Hi, erricaalisa. I have the same problem too. My newborn baby is already now 6+weeks old and he is my first baby as well. Before the birth of my baby, my husband bought me a nursing/parenting book, it says that holding baby till the baby falls sleep in your arms will make the baby always wants your arm as this will become a habit of baby. But normally my baby will cry before sleeping, so i did what the book says, just let the baby cries until he falls sleep. Today, i read another book, but this paediatrician suggests parents repond to baby's cries. Don't let baby cries until he keeps quiet himself. He said that holding the baby will not spoil them but in fact will give them the sense of security and love, and these make them comfortable and have less cries. In fact, these babies will become independent and know how to take care of others when they grow up because these babies are grown up under the love of parents. And he claimed that love is not equal to spoil. It's diffent things, we have to respond to the child appropriately. So, it's different suggestions and opinions from each book. I'm confused now. But i think i will follow my instinct and will hold my baby more and more than before. I really don't want to miss the important bonding time with him anymore. Time pass really fast and he really can grow fast!

Yes I have heard this but I have 3 boys now all in college and I held every one all the time. My husband is a psychologist and he says that the first five years of a childs life is his formative years and depending on how your treat, love, teach, and displine your child will form your child into how oe what they will be when they grow up. My boys ae all independent, honest, hard working kids that never gave us any problems. They got striaght A's in school and they are all in college on full scholarships. So you go ahead and hold your baby all you want and form your baby into the person you want them to be. You can never spoil your children enough with love.

Hi errica...I don't think you can spoil an infant by holding him too much. I completely disagree with everyone around you. However I do think they understand that if they cry and you come running every single time they've got you. Babies can be manipulators. We had an awful time with my son not wanting to sleep at all. It was killing me. At some point we just had to let him cry for at least 10 minutes. It sounds like a small amount of time but when your child is crying it's forever. But at the end of those 10 minutes he was sleeping. So we developed a routine for bedtime at an early age and everyone was happy. I say hold him and squeeze him and kiss him as often as you like!

I used to hear this from people and relatives,when my son was born.They used to say don't keep him in ur lap and arms for long as he will then not stay on his own.But I did what I felt like.I used to cuddle and keep him close to me.How can a mother stay back from loving her child when he is so close to her.

I have heard the same from my family when my kid was about few weeks old. I shrugged off the idea of not being able to hold him during those times. I always told myself that times are not going to be like this always. As my kid grows old, I always look up to those times I spent holding him in my arms. A period in our kid's life will come when they will know that they would need to stand on their own feet. For the meantime, just enjoy the moments. Seize the day!

People say that a lot. You are building security in your child. Yes he may expect you to hold him more often if he is not given the opportunities to be alone and sometimes letting him cry a bit is healthy because 1) it builds up his lungs and 2) You always return and so that also builds security in knowing that you will not be far. Even if you hold him a lot, he will someday pull away from you and become independent. There will come a day that you wish he would or could still sit on your lap. Enjoy him as a baby, don't worry about spoiling him by loving on him. You'll spoil him a lot worse by thinking he has to have every new toy that comes out or the latest fashion trend. A child does need to hear and understand the word 'NO' often while they are young. God bless you and your son.