It went suprisingly well (my "saying no to Easter")
By miamilady
@miamilady (4910)
United States
April 12, 2009 4:53pm CST
They actually did a great job of stepping up to the plate.
My brother and sister in law brought the food AND the paper plates.
My niece (she's 21), who had a past history of polarizing the children...she'd tolerate the older kids and shut out the younger ones, has grown up quite a bit.
She bought Easter Baskets for the kids and brought the entertainment too.
The kids (ages 7-21) all played in the back for the greater part of the day while the adults hung out inside.
My sister and I spoke like nothing happened (which nothing major really had happened) and it was business as usual. Minus the stress of a pre-entertaining cleaning frenzy and minus the pre-Easter mad dash to buy and stuff Easter Baskets and Easter eggs!
I'm glad I chose to "say no to Easter" and I'm glad that they stepped up to the plate.
I made a motion to make this the new Easter tradition. I didn't get a second to my motion, but I did get a couple laughs and my sister in law said "sure, I don't mind".
He He I remember the days when I said "sure, I don't mind"!
4 people like this
11 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
13 Apr 09
wow that is so wonderful that your family came through for you like that. Mine would just let me alone, and go and do their own thing.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I was prepared for that possiblity. It really was thrown together at the last minute. My brother called me the day before. I am glad it turned out the way it did, but I would have been okay home doing nothing. That would have served it's purpose to. It would have sent my children the message that it's time for them to step up and help out if they want to have people over.
They enjoy having family over, but they need to be prodded into helping with the "getting ready" part. I just got tired of having to "make" them help, when this is more for them than it is for me.
@reinydawn (11642)
• United States
13 Apr 09
That's AWESOME!!! It looks like you were able to smoothly pass the baton on this one. There may come a time in the future when you want to be more active in it again, but for now just sit back and relax - enjoy!
1 person likes this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
12 Apr 09
It seems that it is too easy for us to remember ourselves and our own needs when we try to please everyone else...then we bury our own desires and needs, and they fester and burn beneath these "acts of kindness" for others that we find ourselves resenting... I preach to the choir here, but yours is a great post, at least subtly, about there being a point where we must say "yes" against our fears, and where we must say "no" against willingness to please others even when it means smothering ourselves.
cheerio.
DR...
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
I'm a bit disappointed and feel like telling my family not to come visit again. It costs me a fortune even though they contribute a little with food. My daughter said this time AND at Christmas that she'd give me some cash to help out but not only didn't she do that...I shouted them all lunch when we were out on Saturday!!! I ask them to bring their towels to save me the washing, they usually have sleeping bags to sleep in. This time, they left the sleeping bags on the floor and my daughter forgot her towel but remembered the kids...she used my 3 biggest towels while she was here. I washed all day today and still have all the sheets to do. The kids let the dog onto their beds so the blankets and covers will need to be washed as well. There was rubbish left in all the rooms and cups. The beds were not made and the bedding left on the floor. DVDs were left lying around, not returned to their case, rubbish stacked all over the kitchen instead of out in the bins. The kids do no work and my daughter caters to their every whim. My Easter Lunch turned into dinner because she preferred it that way. She left early Monday and I haven't heard from them since. I'm still cranky. Tomorrow I have to go shopping for all the things I ran out of while they were here.
. Gosh, this turned into a rant didn't it?
. Gosh, this turned into a rant didn't it?
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
16 Apr 09
It's okay to rant. I feel your pain. I've been through a lot of that.
It just isn't worth it sometime. I hope your feeling a bit better by now!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I am glad that it went well.My easter/ Passover was great too. On Easter Sunday I saw Ben Hur and King Of Kings. It was a great Passover ans Easter.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
27 Apr 09
I'm glad you had a nice time. I've never seen Ben Hur and the King OF Kings.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Apr 09
What? Do you like what I cal sword and sandel films? Both of these are epics. Ben Hur is almost 4 hours long. It aired on TCM and they played the overture and the intermission.If you like Charlton Heston, then you will like Ben Hur. King of Kings is a good passion play blown up to be a Hollywod epic. It isn't too preachy.It just follows the life of Jesus .I know this may sem weird coming from me, a jew but I do enjoy King Of Kings.It is just 2 and half hours I believe. These films are not just for Easter, I hope you get to see them if you want to.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I love TCM. I think I lost it when I had to cut back on my channels due to my budget. I don't think I could watch a 4 hour movie at this point in my life. I pretty much have the attention span of a flea right now. lol
I do hope at some point in the future, to have time to see some of the classics that I've missed over the years...
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
13 Apr 09
Hi miamilady! That is such great news! I am so glad that you
were able to enjoy your Easter for a change! And it is wonderful
that you get to pass on the torch too! It is time for someone
else to take over your "job"! lol So just enjoy it and don't
be afraid to say no anymore! It worked out fine and everyone
enjoyed themselves, especially you!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
14 Apr 09
That's just great, my friend. Now, wouldn't it be nice if your family agreed to all muck in and share the responsibilities each year, and even take turns at inviting you all to their individual homes. That's something to work on, and you could get into the basket making with your kids too. It's so much more fun when everybody pitches in and thus avoid heaping the stress all onto one person.
Brightest Blessings.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
13 Apr 09
When I read your first discussion on this...it seemed to me like Easter, was for you ..... like all the stress of the Xmas season! I was truly proud of you, and taking back your life, and making Easter the enjoyable family time that it was meant to be! Congratulations, I'll bet this is the first time, in a truly long time you truly enjoyed it! Cheers!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Christmas is similar, but not quite as bad, becaue, fortunatly, my sister does usually host that one. Overall it turned out very well. I had some negative backlash a couple days later. My sister and I had to "clear the air" about a few things. Most of it wasn't about Easter, but some of it was. I am still glad that things turned out the way they did.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
I just responded to your last post, about your sister...you are truly the diplomat in the family, so keep up the good work, even tho' it is a tough role, you truly are being the better person, and keeping this wonderful family together! I know how hard it is, to be the one, always biting your tongue, but I am sure, in many of your families minds, you are revered for the trooper you really are! Cheers!
@SteveSlaton (552)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I think Jesus is quoted as saying, "Love thy neighbor as thy self," which leads me to follow, "People who martyr themselves, like giving up celebrating Easter yourself so that other family members can, is seldom appreciated by the beneficiaries."
Steve
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
28 Apr 09
Heh, I just saw this thread. I'm glad your Easter was lovely. We had a very small Ostara day here. I didn't do the large baskets, but two small ones for the children. We ended up eating out because frankly I didn't want to cook. It falls just before our Anniversary so we went out to Red Lobster for our dinner and celebration. Three lovely years, a lot of stuff, and a great reminder of what Spring is all about.
Namaste-Anora
