What's your take when one of the couple is working abroad?

I am not in favor of this. My husband once thought of working in other country because his elder sisters are working there too. I told him that I will allow him to go but don't expect that I will be here waiting. He knows that I don't believe in families separating for the reason that they wanted to give a good life to their children. For me you can give good life to your children even if you are just working in the country. Providing a lot of money for the children doesn't necessarily mean that they will have a good life.

Hello torchablazed, I don't think I can live without my spouse here with me. I lived separately from him for a few months before (not because of his work) and I realized that it is hard to live without your another half. I am not that strong. I am not sure if I can do it again and just pray hard it won't happen anymore.

i am personally not in favour of such a situation but then other couples feel it is fine,then what do i have to say??when they are together,they are constantly fighting or arguing,for them distance does make the heart grow fonder.

It would be very difficult to be sure to be in such a situation. I think much would depend on the reason for the long distance. If I loved the man, I would do my best to be patient and understanding. I don't think it is the easiest way for a relationship to work but it has been done. 3 to 5 years is a very very long time and so much can happen and people change. A couple would have to be very very much in love and very very committed for this to work. I would not think it would be for most people.

i personally wouldn't like it. if i was married i would want to be w/him. i don't think that's what marriage is all about, one one place & one the other place. their marriage can't be what it's suppose to be.

Marriage has their own responsibilities too! We have enjoyed our teen age as well as some young age too but when it comes to marriage then we should have some respnsibility to be carried. We can get child and their future is in our hands, so to make my kids future better, If I am needed to go abroad, I will go for sure.

Hi Torcha! marriage is beautiful with all that it gives us. Happiness, belonging, trust, love and being together. We have to stay apart sometimes for a greater good, only to live together after that forever. Staying part for the sake of job is not advisable but what else can you do? We need money, stability to live. And if this is temporary we can always stay apart. But the aim is to live together. But if a couple just decid to stay apart I don't think its a good idea. We part only to meet forever and I am sure lovers part to live together.

I would not like it, but sometimes it cannot be helped. We were on an Alaskan cruise and many of the crew members were either Filipino or East Asian and they would sign up for years at a time, and would not get off the ship except when they were in port and the ship might not be going for a cruise near their home country. So they would send money home to the family. And I remember in the olden days, the sailors would be away for years and then come home to their wives. I think now it would be better for if the husband works someplace, that the wife move with him rather then have a long distance relationship.

I am currently in that situation... my husband works abroad and goes home every year a like a 6 week vacation... i would have wanted him to just stay... but it is so difficult to find work her in my country with a salary that can pay for all our needs... It would be either be he stays... get a low paying job... and we will suffer in poverty... or he works abroad and we can provide a better future for our daughter...

Actually, I am now thinking of going abroad. This is because the company where I worked was among those affected by the economic slowdown. I have been unemployed for five months, and me and my are only taking care of a very small business. We have been married for more than 12 years, and we have two children. I must admit, working abroad never came into my mind as I don't want to leave my family. However now, I think I have no other choice. I have been applying here and there, but there is still no positive response. Anyway, I think it will be scary if I will not be going home for three to five years. I am afraid that my children will be away to me not physically but also emotionally. I am not also sure if I will still be faithful to my wife given that long of absence, and vice versa. I also heard a lot of sad stories about broken families, and I don't want my family to be among them. Although technology is now very helpful to re-unite families through the Internet, it's still different if you are together. However, if I feel that that's the only choice I will grab the chance. However, I will just ensure that our communication is consistently open and we will have a lot of savings for the future of the children. But nevertheless, I will try to limit the maximum contract to five years only.

Hi torchablazed ,I ever have had this situation.before I was married my hubby ,he has a chance to working abroad as an architect,and worked for one years.and he turned back to married me . and he said he want abroad again for the salary was more higher than our place ,because we need much money to afford our house,so I agreed ,but the long one year seems like one life for me ,I aways can't control myself and cried to my hubby on the expensive internet phone that I had rather no our own house but just stay with him.one years gone ,now we are toghter,though his work place are not settled ,I and my little son always follow where he is, as he is a careless man and lazy to care his daily life,I can't reassureing to let him alone,and also the child need father,and I need his help and accompany too.

hello torchablazed :-) this is the trend nowadays here in the Philippines. this is done in an effort to make both ends meet and to provide a better future for the family. many couples decide that one of them work abroad while one takes care of the children back home. well many families have been broken because the distance breaks the marriage apart and it is so sad. so for me, this set up is not for all.it requires dedication and discipline.

i thnik i will not accept that happend to me . i am afraid of being alone and if he come abroad ,i will try to follow him . if we cannt ,i think our relationship will be terminated

I am not in favor with it. It is not compensating at all when your partner works abroad and just visits you once every three or five years. I don't think a couple will last forever in that case. As for myself, I find it very hard to be miles apart from my partner. Though we have plans to immigrate abroad, but we sit to it that we will bring our child with us. Earning much money doesn't matter, what matter is the relationship with you and your partner and the success of you as a couple and as a family.

this can work but a lot of times it don,t work beening a part from your mate can create problems in your marriage.a marriage has to be nourished and culivated to survive.beening married you need each other for a lot of reason.beening a part can allow other people to enter the relationship.don,t leave your marriage to chance by beening a part for long periods of time.

[i]I am not but it happened to a lot of couple...It is sad but I guess that is the only way for them to earn great money enough to support the needs and wants of their kids especially to educate them... I am not in the same situation but I will try my best to just have a job close to my partner so that we will not be spending a lot of our times to be far from each other![/i]

If they will be gone for a few weeks or months, I don't think it would be a problem but if it's going to be years they should go together. You know it would be very hard on a marriage, even if one spouse flies over to visit the other every few months.

I don't think I would be in favor of this situation, I agree with you we get married because we want to spend the rest of our lives with the person we love, that doesn't mean living apart, or each one living in different countries and only seeing each other twice a year, to me thats not a marriage and I don't see why you would choose to get married if you have to live like that. The way I see it, I go wherever my husband goes, if he decides to move to another state or whatever, I'm going with him, I'm not going to stay here, and just write to him once in awhile, that would be silly.

the only worry about that certain issue is, being not a complete family for almost one or two years. my father was an OFW for the past 25 years of my life, ever since i was born he was already working abroad until now. issues concerning about one of the married couple is working abroad is how the mother or whoever was left here in the Philippines will be able to raised the kids without his/her partner. another issue is what would be the short term and the long term effect is one is abroad? will they still be a happy family once one of them work abroad (especially men who sometimes find temptation overseas). for us, we were raised and beautifully molded by my mom while my father is overseas. we are still a complete and happy family of 5. those issues concerning couple working abroad is something that can only be resolve by trust towards each other and faith.

I will not be fine with the situation because we get married to share our life TOGETHER and buil it TOGETHER, what ever will happen to that reason if he goes to work os far away from me. If that's the case then i will have to go with him and live my life with him there instead of having him come and visit me once awhile which totally defeats the purpose of getting married. If i were to get married, that is to build a family with that someone. just an opinion though ^_^