The spam mail of all spam mails! The key to amazing seex..... Revealed!
By James72
@James72 (26790)
Australia
April 14, 2009 8:12am CST
Yep, I've finally been enlightened and the key to amazing seex (Yes, that's right..... SEEX!) has been provided to me and I couldn't be more excited about it! 
I of course just wouldn't feel right keeping this all to myself and wanted to share this highly crucial information with you all. Here is the exact wording in entirety of the email I received a few minutes ago:
[i]His yellow crest in an angry manner 'devil take distances.
they consist of long, square, circular,.
How to Open the Door to an Amazing Seex Life
Small. They found friends and not enemies. They miss marple.
i should not put it exactly like the south since the war
as a reason for not going a theory,' said spiess. 'what
i am telling you change, which he did not think quite worthy
of are always found in communities at periods when was so
successful that people's pity was highly and deliver him.
it all tended to a good end, her that the softening should
not come yet, but, to do than to go down and be married
in dillmouth, thing which was temporarily in m. Papopolous5
that's where we're in a different position from.
[/i]
I'm amazed I even have time to write this discussion. Shouldn't I be off having seex right now? All I can do really, is utter those immortal words spoken by the Mayor of Pompeii all the way back in 79 A.D..... "WTF?????" 
Can anyone share their own spam experiences and top this one? Or maybe someone can translate this one for me instead? PLEASE, I'm wanting to have the amazing seex! 
I of course just wouldn't feel right keeping this all to myself and wanted to share this highly crucial information with you all. Here is the exact wording in entirety of the email I received a few minutes ago:
[i]His yellow crest in an angry manner 'devil take distances.
they consist of long, square, circular,.
How to Open the Door to an Amazing Seex Life
Small. They found friends and not enemies. They miss marple.
i should not put it exactly like the south since the war
as a reason for not going a theory,' said spiess. 'what
i am telling you change, which he did not think quite worthy
of are always found in communities at periods when was so
successful that people's pity was highly and deliver him.
it all tended to a good end, her that the softening should
not come yet, but, to do than to go down and be married
in dillmouth, thing which was temporarily in m. Papopolous5
that's where we're in a different position from.
[/i]
I'm amazed I even have time to write this discussion. Shouldn't I be off having seex right now? All I can do really, is utter those immortal words spoken by the Mayor of Pompeii all the way back in 79 A.D..... "WTF?????"
Can anyone share their own spam experiences and top this one? Or maybe someone can translate this one for me instead? PLEASE, I'm wanting to have the amazing seex! 8 people like this
10 responses
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
14 Apr 09
WOW, James... it's gonna be awfully hard to top that there spam.. but I usually get spam telling me that I can get MY viagra way cheaper online than in a real pharmacy... the problem is.. I didn't even know that I needed it! *looks down*
I guess I'm just stuck without amazing seex... DARNIT!
maybe you can post some pics of your amazing seex! I'm sure that Mayor of Pompeii would want to see em too! hahaha!
4 people like this
@Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
14 Apr 09
*slaps MJLKNOP with a shoe*
wattttchhh it! what are ya poking me with?
Hey James? I think I might know the secret to amazi....er..... decent seex!
yer gonna need a box! hahaha!
3 people like this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Perhaps there's some insidious subliminal message from the aliens in the Nevada desert in there that in time will drive us all to indulge in some weird alien practice called seex?
Lash
4 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Now this angle may actually have some merit! Could it be an excerpt from Area 51/Alfred Kinsey spin-off experiment notations that've finally been released from the archives? I'm taking a second look at the wording to see if there's even the slightest reference to butt probing.....
I'm taking a second look at the wording to see if there's even the slightest reference to butt probing.....3 people like this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
17 Apr 09
james,you do go through the spam mails??you do have some patience than i gave yyou credit for!!actually,i do go through my spam mails when i am quite.does mable sound like a male name???then why the hell do they keep sending me mails of viagra and such stuff??maybe i would get a tad interested if it was something of female stuff biagra(i suppose i am not wrong)
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
17 Apr 09
I don't normally go through spam mails, no! But I have a preview window set up in my inbox and this one leapt out at me for some reason. I think it was the promise of amazing seex that did it! 
Mable definitely doesn't sound like a male name, but they're probably counting on the off chance that some women will look to buy it for their husbands. I'll keep an eye out for Biagra for ya. lol.
Mable definitely doesn't sound like a male name, but they're probably counting on the off chance that some women will look to buy it for their husbands. I'll keep an eye out for Biagra for ya. lol.1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
14 Apr 09
*Pots scratches head and leaves in disappointment. Thought she was going to learn something*
2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Helllllooooooooo, PANDA SPANKING! There's always something to be learnt here pots, it's just not always evident in the first instance is all. Just relax for now and maybe at a later date you too can join the hunt to seek the key to the amazing seex they're talking about in that email. Have a spankerrific evening!
There's always something to be learnt here pots, it's just not always evident in the first instance is all. Just relax for now and maybe at a later date you too can join the hunt to seek the key to the amazing seex they're talking about in that email. Have a spankerrific evening!1 person likes this
Maybe it's panda spanking spam? I hope not, 'cos I usually know about things like this in advance. @makingpots (11915)
• United States
14 Apr 09
Ahh, so I needed to run it through the Panda Spanking filter......
It's becoming a lot clearer now. Papopolous5 has me rather intrigued. I dare say I've tried 1 and 2 but had no idea of 3, 4 or 5 
.
.2 people like this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
14 Apr 09
I couldn't even BEGIN to understand what I've just read, much less translate it, Jamesy! Geez Louise! What a bunch of malarky! But, um, I have a question here. What is 'seex'? Is it a form of searching, looking, exploring? Is it a 'number' of things? Is it some kind of arabic sort of person? Seex. Hmmm. Makes me wonder, James.........And for the last question now...why am I not having any???????
3 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
I'm not quite sure what Seex is either! This is why I'm putting the feelers out. Whatever it is, it must be pretty damn good because they sure are being cryptic about it! Then again, it might be something totally mainstream already too, but we know it as something else. Maybe you're getting plenty of seex already, but didn't realise it?
Whatever it is, it must be pretty damn good because they sure are being cryptic about it! Then again, it might be something totally mainstream already too, but we know it as something else. Maybe you're getting plenty of seex already, but didn't realise it? 2 people like this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
14 Apr 09
Why, you may be right!!! I might already getting more than my share of seex, James, and not even know it! Shocking! I shall have to investigate this seex thing. Or maybe I'll just wait for you all to figure it all out. Yes, that seems like a better idea. Research, James, research!
3 people like this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
14 Apr 09
WTF, indeed! Even after reading the responses, my head hurts from all that!
2 people like this
I think I need me some amazing seex to take the edge off.@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
14 Apr 09
Hmmmmm, I don't even have anything to come back with on that one.
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
15 Apr 09
I searched the word Seex and it actually came up with alot of different things. But the email that you received just totally confused me. But the responses I read was pretty amusing.
Here is some more gibberish I found on line..
http://www.nabble.com/Amazing-Seex-Life-td23036340s3741.html
http://www.nabble.com/Amazing-Seex-Life-td23017289.html
Maybe someone was high when they wrote it..llol
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I probably would have found more but I figured those two example were enough to confuse anyone..lol..but sorry none of it really helped to find enlightenment on a really amazing seex life...ahh well..maybe next spam letter..
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
15 Apr 09
I agree that duplicating the 'e' makes it that much more special.
The thing is: why would you want to spam people with a mail like this? What's in it for them? I am starting to believe that this is not spam at all, they are merely trying to make your day with an incredibly hard puzzle and the seex is just an extra motivational tool .
.@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
15 Apr 09
I am quite sure that going around spamfilters is motivation number one. On the other hand, if you can just include the sentence about amazing seex that might do just the same. In the end you have nothing to do with the other content because there is no way you can make common sence out of it. It might have something to do with a minimum of text next to a URL or something, and that it's also considered spam if there is to little info in an e-mail that is send to a large variety of users? We'll never know if we'll find the key to the amazing seex.
It allmost sounds religious!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
15 Apr 09
Apparently so! Maybe duplicating ANY vowel is the key to spamming success! There was a link included in the title of that wording, but I of course didn't include it. Maybe they go to all that trouble to be cryptic so that receiving systems have a smaller chance of recognizing it as spam in the first place and then blocking it? This does make sense to me! But of course, we're all ultimately intrigued because of the off chance we may find the key to the amazing seex.
There was a link included in the title of that wording, but I of course didn't include it. Maybe they go to all that trouble to be cryptic so that receiving systems have a smaller chance of recognizing it as spam in the first place and then blocking it? This does make sense to me! But of course, we're all ultimately intrigued because of the off chance we may find the key to the amazing seex. 1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
8 Jun 09
I think, I am getting blank. Obviously not much of panda spanking going on in my life lately. I could not decipher a thingie!!
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
14 Apr 09
Clearly, the sender has a crested grebe which he has taught to run in courses of a variety of shapes which have been measured to specific distances. He suggests you have amazing seex with friends, rather than enemies (particularly if you are small) and that you should enlist the detective expertise of Miss Marple to find said friends. I think he then has a theory that you should milk the sympathy the young ladies in the community have (presumably for his 'smallness') and that you should not go flaccid before you have performed in a number of different positions whilst honeymooning in Dilmouth (sorry, dont know where that is... probably south coast of England??)
I think it was send by the Head of your company (unless that's you... tho', on second thoughts, maybe you DID send it to yourself but forgot...like that time you forgot you had your slippers on??) and its a cunning trap to see if you are spending too much time reading emails and not enough time working!!!!
So, to some up... make friends with Miss Marple!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
15 Apr 09
Abdsolutely brilliant deduction here Wizzy! I knew someone would work it out eventually..... lol. Now all I have to do is work out where the heck Miss Marple's at??? I'm 99% sure I didn't send this one to myself too by the way. Yes there's that 1% chance that I DID, but the odds are in my favour so I'll go with no. I even managed to NOT be wearing my slippers on the day I received this email too, so I'm really on the ball this week it seems. Yes, I'm just as frightened by that as you probably are..... If you ever do locate Dilmouht and then decide to visit, please don't forget to send me a postcard.
I knew someone would work it out eventually..... lol. Now all I have to do is work out where the heck Miss Marple's at??? I'm 99% sure I didn't send this one to myself too by the way. Yes there's that 1% chance that I DID, but the odds are in my favour so I'll go with no. I even managed to NOT be wearing my slippers on the day I received this email too, so I'm really on the ball this week it seems. Yes, I'm just as frightened by that as you probably are..... If you ever do locate Dilmouht and then decide to visit, please don't forget to send me a postcard. @James72 (26790)
• Australia
15 Apr 09
Oh yes! A "Present from Dilmouth" that I shall display proudly amongst my spoon and wedgewood collection! I hope their gift shop has something garish and thimble themed with distant sounds of the wind and sea heard from within when it's placed to one's ear ! You can never have enough sea-sound thimbles.....
I hope their gift shop has something garish and thimble themed with distant sounds of the wind and sea heard from within when it's placed to one's ear ! You can never have enough sea-sound thimbles.....@Wizzywig (7847)
•
15 Apr 09
In true Miss Marple style, I have used my incredible powers of deduction to discover that Dilmouth is, apparently, a fictional seaside village where Miss Marple herself does a bit of 'marple-ing'. Since i am in the habit of visiting fictional places/times I have no doubt that I shall find myself there (more exceptional detective work
) at some point (though a little late for a honeymoon)& will, of course send the postcard and will visit the local gift shop for a suitably "unique" souvenir which has been mass produced in a large, cheaply-run factory and had a transfer bearing the words "A present from Dilmouth"
) at some point (though a little late for a honeymoon)& will, of course send the postcard and will visit the local gift shop for a suitably "unique" souvenir which has been mass produced in a large, cheaply-run factory and had a transfer bearing the words "A present from Dilmouth" 1 person likes this
