What parenting ideas did you have to "rethink" after you became a parent?

Hello miamilady. When my son was small, we expected him to grow up the way we lead him to. It was ok, but when he has reached his teens, he is not listening to us any more. He is very rebellious against us parents in some major ways. Still we keep telling him what he needs to do for his own future. I told him that it is his way of life to decide how he wants it to go. He is a headache to us, but we are still expecting him to be a good boy who loves study...Things don't really happen the way we wish sometimes though. But anyway, I wish you lucky and smooth in parenting. Good day, friend.

I always said that when I had kids I would never be anything like my mother. Of course, that was when I was a teen and Mom and I buttued heads a lot. The biggest thing I changed is that I do more things like my Mom did as my kids get older. There are still some areas where I think my method works better than Mom's did, but I find myself turning into her more and more all the time!

I tend to think that all parents want to feel like they have all the answers, though all of us KNOW we dont. My daughter also didn't go through the terrible twos, but the terrible threes. She is still going through them. She will be four on April 30th. Time out doesn't work. Spanking doesn't work. Yelling doesn't work....she just yells back. So, Im right with you!

Kids will always test you out at some stage of their lives, usually pre-school and coming up teens but they'll do it, however well you bring them up. They just need to know how far they can go and with all the best will in the world, we'll rarely get the better of our kids' ways of thinking. As long as they end up good citizens, honest, loyal and polite, then you've done a good job with them. Brightest Blessings.

Well, I can't say much now as my baby is only 7 week old. I think I am like you know, I have some "do's and don'ts" of parenting too, after experiencing what my parents did to me, and also seeing how other parents do to their kids. Although I know it's not easy to bring up a child, I wish I can do the best I can for him. I have not changed my mind yet, but I am not sure if I will when my son turns into 2 and 3 years old.

LOL! Now, I'm not a parent, and that's exactly why I chuckle, in complete and utter empathy, because I know I'm going to go exactly what you're going through if I ever do--it's even worse being a psych student because you've read all these studies of so-called experts--want a laugh, read about the real life of the supposed expert, Dr. Spock, apparently not that great in the real world application of the stuff. No, I shouldn't be cruel, but I don't think anyone has the answers...other muttering something about Love and discipline, and this or that, and if one wants to sound really smart adding something pseudo-esoteric... like go with the depths of your heart...yada yada yada. Peace, good luck, and bless ya. David A. Reedy...

Ah, Parenting the most frustrating, difficult, thankless, Rewarding job in the world. We think we know how to raise those little bundles of joy, then they get to an age of thinking for them selves and we really know nothing. If only they came with a hand book. Yes I know I had my Ideas for have perfect kids after watching my cousins back talk their mom. I was going to ask the kids, then tell them, then spankings. Well they didn't get many spankings. But then after having baby number one I thought "Boy I now have this down. I know just what to do with baby number two" Boy did he ever fool me. Each child is a new learning experience and new joys.

right now, I feel like hugging and just about everybody else on this discussion who’s going thru the same emotional rollercoaster as me. Not before but after I became a parent that I had a clear idea about the sort of mom I wanted to be. Since my mom is an unnecessarily strict disciplinarian, I always wanted to be in sync with my son on most issues, barring the major ones like behaviour, education, food. BUT it seems at 9yrs, he’s taking me for a ride…yes, believe me I am at my wit’s end as to how to deal with this little devil. I thought I did not pamper him all these years but only tried to ‘understand’ him but it seems he’s now taking more than a fair advantage of this ‘understanding’…sometimes when I feel so sad I really sit back and think that was my mom then correct in spanking me and making me feel guilty for every little demand I made? Was she correct in making me feel disrespectful, disobedient, BAD every time I felt like answering back? Was she correct in calling me a liar every time I tried to forcefully push my view of things across? I really don’t know but what my son is doing right now, isn’t expected either!

my mom and dad has way of disiplines that i still use it on my children, i am a single mom with four children and it is not easy to track them all down if they are all outside. they are all teens now and they only use a single cellphone. so nobody gets out the house without the one knowing where that person is. i still have curfews and strick time on what time to sleep. but just like you experience children are not all the same so sometimes the disipline differs from one another. we learn how to disipline kids from their own traits, so we need to have our own instinct to that.

Parenting is as much a learning experience for the parent as it is for the child. What works for one parent may not work for another. And what works for one kid may not work on another.

Your discussion made me laugh...out loud! Yup...been there, I was older when my son was born, and I was sure I knew it all! Well...one little bundle of boy, thru all my well-thought out parenting skills out the window! AND I did a lot of re-thinking, and re-learning! And you know, now that he is older, I am still learning, A LOT! All of my "pat" answeres belonged in a book...and did not apply to reality! Thank goodness parents are adaptable ..too! Cheers!

Each child is different. My oldest is going to be 12 in a month. He was an easy baby. He never went through terrible 2's. He never threw a temper tantrum in his life. Even though he's nearly an adult, he will not argue with me or talk back to me or any of that. But he has issues in other areas. Even though he's smart, he pretends to be dumb and gets bad grades. He lies about homework and fails a lot of classes. He tells me things are done when they really aren't. When he goes outside he'll go places he's not supposed to without telling me first which I don't allow. I have 6 year old twins. They also never threw any temper tantrums and did not go through terrible 2's. However they're the most hyper children you'll ever meet. They're loud, they run around, and no matter how many times I tell them to sit down and be quiet, they don't listen! They try my patience on a daily basis. I got another little guy who's going to be 3 soon. He does throw temper tantrums sometimes, but not too often. He started throwing temper tantrums at 18 months old, and still has them every now and then. He also screams at the top of his lungs if his brothers won't give him a toy he wants, things like that. Other than that, he's a perfect child. He's sweet, helpful, calm. He's completely wonderful. I wish all my children could be more like him. Then there's the baby... about 15 months old now. He's been throwing temper tantrums since he was 3 months old, I kid you not! Yes he is a very cranky baby, and spends most of his day just fussing and being cranky, but he will also totally flip and throw an extreme temper tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants. The worst is when we put him to bed. It gets to a point where I just have to put him in his crib because I can't handle the crankiness anymore, and he will scream at the top of his lungs for half an hour!! I don't treat any child differently than another, they get the same punishments, the same attention, the same everything. It's just that each child is different so they're going to behave differently, and parents have to adjust for each child. For my oldest, taking his video games away is the worst punishment on earth, but for my 6 year olds, a time out is the worst punishment in the world.

most of what I thought as a child, you know the thoughts , when I'm a Mom I'll never make my children do that. This includes everything from taking a nap to eating everything you need to eat, all those rules you hated as a kid but as a parent you know has good reasoning behind them.

I saw a lot of kids growing well and some were not. I saw my younger brothers and some of my cousins and nieces. I told myself that once I become a parent I will make sure that I will not do the things that I consider wrong. Then I gave birth six months ago. My son is now crawling, he sits alone at five months old. I always give him enough attention and I am confident that he will grow well. I wish him to grow as a normal kid and an intelligent one. I hate it when he has colds and cough but then I do not blame myself or anyone because I am sure that I had done my part. I have just started to become a parent and my patience is just starting to be tested. Anyway I wish that I could have more patience when my son grows up especially at ages 2 to 3 years. I know that no parent is perfect but we can have our own rules and we must stick with them as long as they are right according to our instincts. For me the internet helps and I always listen to what my son's pediatrician is telling me. I love my son and I am willing to do what it takes for him to grow the way I want him to be. Thanks also to my supporting and loving husband who does some things to our son some other fathers won't do. He has tried bathing our baby and washed the feeding bottles.